Why Women Are Called Sluts When They Sleep Around, But Men Aren’t
You often hear women, especially feminists and sluts, complaining about how it’s such an unfair double standard that men are called studs when they sleep around, yet women are called sluts. It’s really not a double standard though, because both scenarios are pretty different in terms of circumstances and consequences. I can think of at least three crucial differences.
First, sleeping around is easier for women. Regardless of how you feel about promiscuity, we can all agree that a guy who manages to rack up a lot of sexual partners has to have some skills. It’s challenging for men to rack up partners, even for men with low standards. It requires a certain amount of social intelligence, interpersonal skills, persistence, thick skin, and plain old dumb luck. For women to rack up a lot of partners, however, it pretty much only requires a vagina and a pulse. So a man whoring it up and a woman whoring it up are hardly the same thing because for a woman to get a lot of partners is absolutely no challenge, hence no one respects it. It’s just viewed as a lack of self-discipline when women indulge in lots of sex partners because they can get new ones whenever they want. When men get lots of sex partners, it’s respected more because getting lots of sex partners, for men, is a challenge. This is just human nature: people gain respect for those who accomplish challenging feats while they consider those who overindulge in easily obtained vices as weak or flawed.
Second, women do more harm by sleeping around than men do. Say a man sleeps around with a bunch of different women. He is definitely doing harm to these women if he pretends to be monogamous while sleeping around with these multiple partners. He may cause them emotional pain by his promiscuity. He may cause unwanted pregnancy. He may spread venereal diseases. When women sleep around, however, they can cause not only these same ill effects but one additional crucial ill effect: the risk of unknown parentage. If one guy sleeps around with five women, each of whom is monogamous to him, and they all get pregnant, it’s a safe bet as to who the father is. If one woman sleeps around with five men and gets pregnant, it could be anybody’s baby. And if a man is tricked into raising a baby that isn’t his, he is basically investing his time, money, estate and property to provide for a child that is not carrying on his DNA into the next generations, which is a costly mistake from an evolutionary standpoint. Our two basic primal drives are to survive and to reproduce, and promiscuous women traditionally make it hard for a man to know for sure whether he is truly reproducing or simply raising another man’s child. Men stand a lot more to lose from promiscuous women than the other way around. And it’s no picnic for the child to not know who his real father is either. And it’s a mess for the women carrying on the deception as well. Or just look at any random episode of the Maury show if you don’t believe me. Considering that the DNA test and the birth control pill had not existed for most of human history, meaning that there were no reliable ways to prevent pregnancy or prove parentage, society for many centuries had a vested interest in preventing promiscuity among women and society accomplished this by creating the slut stigma. And even though the creation of birth control and DNA tests have made this less of a risk than the past, longstanding traditions and customs are not easy for society to break.
Third, men have evolutionary reasons to be programmed to sleep around. A lot of women roll their eyes when they hear that men are “hard-wired” to sleep around. But from an evolutionary standpoint, it makes total sense. If the two primal drives of humans are to survive and to reproduce, nothing leads to maximum reproduction like one man sleeping with multiple women. If one women slept with many men, in a nine month period, she would still only get pregnant just once. Nine months of rampant promiscuity would give the same result as nine months of highly sexed monogamy: one pregnancy. Now if one man sleeps with many women, you can get many pregnancies. The more women he sleeps with, the more pregnancies. So from an evolutionary standpoint, there are concrete advantages to men sleeping around with multiple partners rather than women.
These three reasons are probably why the longstanding tradition came about of men being rewarded for multiple partners while women get socially punished for similar promiscuity. Of course all this is gradually changing, but we’re up against centuries of tradition here, so don’t expect any dramatic reversals or anything.
Now a lot of people are going to read all this and dismissively think Oh this guy is just being a typical man and trying to justify every man’s dream: cheating and polygamy. But believe it or not, I don’t really think male polygamy is all it’s cracked up to be. Despite what most people assume, polygamy actually may benefit women more than men. Most dudes think a society of widespread polygamy (specifically polygyny, where one man can have several women) would just be a utopia of every guy sleeping with every woman under the sun. Some economists think otherwise though. The basic argument is that in a world where po
lygamy was acceptable, most of the women would be hoarded by the most successful men. As explained in this Psychology Today article:
The history of western civilization aside, humans are naturally polygamous. Polyandry (a marriage of one woman to many men) is very rare, but polygyny (the marriage of one man to many women) is widely practiced in human societies, even though Judeo-Christian traditions hold that monogamy is the only natural form of marriage…..Relative to monogamy, polygyny creates greater fitness variance (the distance between the “winners” and the “losers” in the reproductive game) among males than among females because it allows a few males to monopolize all the females in the group. The greater fitness variance among males creates greater pressure for men to compete with each other for mates. Only big and tall males can win mating opportunities. Among pair-bonding species like humans, in which males and females stay together to raise their children, females also prefer to mate with big and tall males because they can provide better physical protection against predators and other males.
In societies where rich men are much richer than poor men, women (and their children) are better off sharing the few wealthy men; one-half, one-quarter, or even one-tenth of a wealthy man is still better than an entire poor man. As George Bernard Shaw puts it, “The maternal instinct leads a woman to prefer a tenth share in a first-rate man to the exclusive possession of a third-rate one.” Despite the fact that humans are naturally polygynous, most industrial societies are monogamous because men tend to be more or less equal in their resources compared with their ancestors in medieval times. (Inequality tends to increase as society advances in complexity from hunter-gatherer to advanced agrarian societies. Industrialization tends to decrease the level of inequality.)
When there is resource inequality among men?the case in every human society?most women benefit from polygyny: women can share a wealthy man. Under monogamy, they are stuck with marrying a poorer man.
The only exceptions are extremely desirable women. Under monogamy, they can monopolize the wealthiest men; under polygyny, they must share the men with other, less desirable women. However, the situation is exactly opposite for men. Monogamy guarantees that every man can find a wife. True, less desirable men can marry only less desirable women, but that’s much better than not marrying anyone at all.
Men in monogamous societies imagine they would be better off under polygyny. What they don’t realize is that, for most men who are not extremely desirable, polygyny means no wife at all, or, if they are lucky, a wife who is much less desirable than one they could get under monogamy.
So basically, women complain about how men are allowed to sleep around and they aren’t. Meanwhile men wish polygamy had widespread acceptance. And the truth may actually be that male polygamy benefits the average women more than the average man. Who’da thunk?
(58 votes, average: 3.52 out of 5)
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I love the way you sidestep away from Polyandry with the obvious lack of benefit to men – having to share one very desirable woman. Can’t tell who the biological parent is? Yeah, I know why that’s important to the guy, but to mankind overall, which man impregnated her is less so. If they are both highly desirable mates, then the 1 woman getting pregnant by either is a good thing, and she has 2 big strong men to take care of her and her offspring. Expand this to a truly polyamorous group and you’ve got a bunch of highly desirable people all together, protecting each other and having kids together. Sounds great to me.
That is the theory, at least. Experience has proven the viability of this to be rare. Humans are simply too insecure to trust and maintain this type of relationship. Heinlein’s utopia is a fantasy… but a helluva good one!
J R M’s last blog post..Blowing his mind
I thought I had lost you forever Mr.T! And of course, as I catch up on blogs and stumble onto yours, deciding “choices” seems a bit to appropriate in terms of where to start reading, I find the arch nemesis of blogging which I know and love!
I have to disagree with you on several points here, especially the “instinctual” concept. I take it you do not know many single women in their thirties. I will give you credit for the earlier years. However, in my situation and now knowing a great number of similar females, hearing that ticking clock, the yearning of my uterus to start mass production, even being in a long distance relationship, I find that I have an urge to take the seed of 65-75% of the population, all in the name of instinct. Now, do I act upon it? No. But that drive as we enter the final repo-friendly years, don’t knock it. Instinct to spread our seed is not merely a male role. It merely seems that way as you are an ingredient, we are the oven.
As for the paternal drama, though seemingly sound, it puts us at the level of the male lion, thinking your spawn must be matched to you. I can stick to the argument of step-parents being a norm, I can go on about the South American tribe who believes the child is a product of all of the seeds a woman collects and all of those males are thus active in raising it, but in actuality, the role of who the daddy is? Well, not too important in the overall scheme of things. It only counts if ya need a check, but it is entertaining TV.
And I cannot remember the last time I saw a male friend of mine, like alot of my career bartender boys, and told him he was a stud. He is a slut. It just takes time for society to wither away at the isms sometimes. Sexism included.
Hey Jen, it’s been a while!! Glad you came by! Drop me a line! (email’s t@therawness.com)
That polyandry might benefit a society in general in the form of “two strong men caring for one child” is largely irrelevant for this argument. The point being that it doesn’t benefit the ignorant males who, driven by the drive to propagate their seed, are possibly wasting their effort. Imagine a scenario where a promiscuous woman gets impregnated by an equally promiscuous man. Man-X loves her and leaves her, bounding off into the sunrise to knock up more chicks. Meanwhile, Girl-X convinces a coupla chumps that the bastard-child could be any of theirs. Now they foolishly all decide to pull a “3 Men & A Baby”, forgoing their opportunity to spend the next 7 years spreading their seeds. Sure Girl-X gets what she wants, but that’s about it.
Now imagine this happens over and over again in an early society. What personality type ends up getting passed on? Certainly not the easily duped “Chump-Gene”. Those fools are busy nursing the baby who bears the genes of Man-X who is simultaneously spreading EVEN MORE of his seed!
You’re 100% right, T. We’re all hard-wired to act how we act.
smash, you actually gave me a good idea for a post…
Look at it this way. You can have Roseanne Barr all to yourself, or share a centerfold model with another man. While sharing a wife isn’t ideal, it better to have a highly desirable mate than a lousy one.
For women, something similar is at work.They would rather have an insanely rich guy all to themselves, but given a choice between marrying a nice guy employed at Taco Bell or sharing a Tiger Woods, most women would rather share the multi-millionaire.
Polyandry is relatively rare. Usually it’s a group of men who cannot afford a bride, so they pool their resources and share one wife.
Something like male polygamy happens now, in that the wealthiest men, e.g. Donald Trump, marry the hottest women, e.g. Ivana Trump, monopolize them during their most fertile/attractive years, then kick them out the door. They then repeat the process. The end result is like male polygamy in which high status men monopolize the most desirable women. Although they aren’t married for life to the hottest women, the high status men use them up and spit them out, and beta males wind up settling for discards. The net result is a relative shortage of women.
Sgt Ray’s last blog post..The 30 Day Sex Challenge
Smash,
Research shows that a woman who leads two men to think that they could be the father gains more resources from the possible fathers.
If she sleeps around with more men than that, she creates the impression that she is a whore. When men feel like the chance of them being the child’s father is small, the odds of them investing in the child are extremely low.
Sgt Ray’s last blog post..The 30 Day Sex Challenge
I agree with the first point and some of the second, but not the third. Unless you are a hugely built cute smooth talking stud it is extremely difficult to pull a bunch of partners. Now for women they just need to have a vagina and look decent. On the second point about the diseases it is bad for both to risk each other getting an STD. When it comes to a girl lying about the father of the child I would probably kick her teeth in, because it is not mine and I paid for it, because she had to go and screw everything. It does matter who the father is to me and I do not like being lied to either. On the third point men and women both have an evolutionary reason to screw everything. That does not mean we should do it. I only want one good women and thats it. The reason I feel that we look down upon women who do it is because of the first point and also that women do it in the most screwed up way and at the most screwed up time. It is not all women that do it of course it is the few or majority that give women bad names. Women do cheat more than men it has been proven. It does not help the fact that when two people get divorced the women gets the child, gets most of the property, child support, and on top of that spousal support. While the man is told to be strong and starts over with nothing or less than nothing. Look at Utah most women there are on welfare and collecting child and spousal support from at least two men. I look at them as lazy waste of space breeders.
Look at Utah most women there are on welfare and collecting child and spousal support from at least two men. I look at them as lazy waste of space breeders.
What about the LDS polygamists collect welfare from their multiple “wives” and don’t even have to work?
http://www.rickross.com/refere.....gamy4.html
I know some guys that do not marry their girlfriends, knock them up, still live with them and do not work, just sponging off of her and welfare. One of those guys has three kids. It’s sickening.
Some men are sluts.
The biggest: Jordanians named Abood.
People tend to forget that succesful reproduction is not about getting many children, but many grandchildren. It doesn`t help a mans reproductive fittness to spread his seed, if his offspring don`t grow up and manage to do the same. Human evolution was presumably driven by competition between women to capture the ressources of men for the benefit of their costly offspring. The result is a state of socalled “near monogamy”.
Polygamy is allowed in many cultures, but it is usually only about 2% of the men who have more than one wife. Polyandry is extremely rare and consists usually of two brothers who share a wife. Since the brothers share half their genes, the paternity problem is not as serious as one would have thought. In the few matrilineal cultures that exists, it is the woman`s brother who is responsible for the children. He would on average share 25% of his genes with them. Matriarchial societies are not known to exist ( but are sometimes confused with matrilineal societies). Presumably it is because they would find it difficult to capture mens ressources in a reliable way.
Are there other real estate reference materials you recommend? Thanx
The only reason it takes more skill for man to get a woman to have sex than a woman to get a man is because men are sluts. So many men will do anything for sex, even if it is sexual exploitation. Women might not need skills to get laid, but it’s sickening that they need and are expected to have skills just to avoid being sexually exploited. Biology doesn’t excuse sexual exploitation of other people (which is rare for women to do). Men go beyond just exploitation, they even brag about it. They are whores and even encourage each other to be whores.
Wow dude, way to totally miss the point.
Allow me to contradict you buddy : sleeping around for a girl is easy : true.
However not to care about what society thinks, and persist in this attitude, is a CHALLENGE. Precisely because women who sleep around and say it do risk something : loss of respect.
There is a challenge in resisting social norms and pressure : one has to be BRAVE and independent to do it.
Sorry buddy
Many wealthy men do not care so much about sex nor women. They are much more excited by real power : money and politics.
Kissinger called it “euphoric”.
And I am sure he was more excited by political stuff than by women’s cunts.
I also doubt that old protestant bankers from Switzerland are cunt obsessed.
Somehow, you are much more human than them : even if you desire to identify with those powerful men, as opposed to them, YOU are obsessed by women : this is soooo cute.
Okay, let’s go with Kissinger. Why would a man go for all that power if not at least partially for the glory of attracting women? If he purely wanted intellectual stimulation he could have gotten that from pursuits like books and debates, but to go for such power and money? A major factor in that drive is the desire to increase attractiveness to beautiful women. And many other powerful and high-status men apparently agree.
Quote from Sigmund Freud: “[I]n the greater number of ambitious day-dreams, too, we can discover a woman in some corner, for whom the dreamer performs all his heroic deeds and at whose feet all his triumphs are to be laid”
Quote from the rich and powerful Aristotle Onassis: “If women didn’t exist all the money in the world would have no meaning.”
And lastly, a quote from your own example, Henry Kissinger: “POWER IS THE ULTIMATE APHRODISIAC.” So yes, even Kissinger, when accumulating his power, was cognizant of the advantage it got him in scoring with women.
Don’t believe me? Check this list of women he dated once he became powerful:
Barbara Walters, Gina Lollobrigida, Joanna Barnes, Marlo Thomas, Persis Khambatta, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Ann Fleisher, Candice Bergen, Samantha Eggar, Jill St. John, all significantly younger than him and dating him when they were still considered young and desirable eye candy.
All beautiful models, actresses and eye candy. You can see pictures of them all at this link if you doubt.
I think this is the biggest load of codswallop I have ever heard in my life. Women like men are sexual beings and have sexual urges just like men. Although I agree that men are generally more promiscous there are still many women who have the same sexual needs in some cases more. Except women are not spose to be sexual beings we are supposes to by societys standards act like good little princesses who dont know what a penis is. Sleeping around is ok as long as your not hurting people and you practice safe sex. Men only call women sluts because they want to put themselves in a position of power over the woman. Men do not like women who are sexual because they want a woman who doesn’t know just how small his weener is.
Amen
Codswallop has to be hands down the best word I’ve ever heard!
women should be killed if i was in charge i would put the fukin bitches back in place you kick the shit out of the fukkas and they still think there all fukin tough how many times have you got to batter the bitche until they realise there just mouthy bitches who should be locked in cellars
The problem with the modern world is todays society is so sexualised. People have never been so promiscuous as they are these days. We are so consumed by sex and money that things like family, friends, religion and just basic moral decency goes out the window. Stories from my grandparents and even my own parents confirm this, I always take the time to talk to an older person to learn one or two new things about the history of our world. The old days were simple, no internet, no tv and no forced media cramming what the corporations wanted our society to become down our kids throats.
Bob, you’re a fucking retard! You should be killed! You’re a waste of space, and no woman would ever want you, not even your mother! Obviously you were abused by her when you were a child, and now you take it out on all women! I bet she locked you in a cellar, that’s where you came up with that idea! Men like you should be put in a gas chamber. You don’t belong in a world of civilized people. If it weren’t for a woman, you wouldn’t be here, a huge mistake on your mother’s part. That’s why she hates you, and so does every other woman and decent man.
I think that saying that one party is wronger than the other is not only sexist but it is a conception. I think that promiscuous men and women should be ashamed of themselves.Just because women may manage to have more sex parners is not the reason why men call women slut. men do have double standards and anyone that does not believe that is a fool. Men sometimes do not like to get a taste of their own medicine
Double standards in one word: suck.
I myself have had quite a few sex partners, and yes, I’ve been slated (mostly by guys) for it. However, when guys hit on every girl in sight, when they sleep with as many girls as possible, when they flirt with every girl that walks their way…nobody bats an eyelash. Even if he is called a playa by his friends, it’s not in a bad way…it’s actually seen as a good thing! If a girl were to do that she’d be seen as “easy” or a “slut”. Where’s the sense in that?
“men have evolutionary reasons to be programmed to sleep around” Oh give me a break! I know many guys who are still virgins and waiting until marriage. I also know guys who are in relationships and who have not cheated/slept around. That excuse is so stupid it doesn’t even deserve a counter attack.
“women do more harm by sleeping around than men do” Do woman get pregnant every time they have sex? I don’t think so. Why should a woman practising safe sex (e.g pills/condoms) still be called a slut after having multiple sex partners even if she hasn’t become pregnant? Guys can pass on a series of STD’s or even HIV (yes, I know women can to, but that’s not the point)…much worse than pregnancy, anyway!
“sleeping around is easier for women” So that makes it ok? Because last time I checked, both men and women have sexual urges and needs. So it’s ‘harder’ for you to find someone to sleep with…and what? Either way, you can still be having sex with a string of people or even paying for it. Forget the ‘challenge’ – sex is sex. Whether you’re male or female there shouldn’t be double standards.
Riiiight.
((
I am together with my girlfriend now for about a year and half. When we did get together she was still with another guy. I told her that I’m not having sex with her until she finishes that relationship. Well don’t get me wrong I knew her much longer than that guy and I was pretty sure that she was the one-the first one! What happened? She didn’t finish it even when she told me that she did.And now after a year and a half I’ve found out that she had slept with him many more times after she had sex with me.We had a long distance relationship at first and she wasn’t still sure about it so it was a bit weird at the beginning. But she told me that she did quit with him,then under the weight of evidence she admitted she did not tell him because the guy had mental problems..but she is not seeing him anymore and that she will tell him.then later she did quit it and we did get really together and moved together in. But at that time I didn’t know that she slept with him. It just happened accidently that I’ve found bullet proof evidence now. And I’m really down about it. I just don’t know what to think. Is she a whore because of that? I mean she tells me that she loves me ,but she told me many things before that weren’t true. And I cannot ask her anything about that because it’s a past we already did get over . But now after knowing this I feel used and betrayed and as a looser. I am an honest man and always fair with everyone. I did many times really huge steps just to save our relationship from big crisis and treated her as a queen and she treated me as a piece of shit.She was my first and I just don’t want to make records in women counting on my penis. But she was fucking him,then me and then him and then me.How can I be now ever shore that she ain’t doing somebody else when she lied to me that time with such an ease!?! Or maybe that she left him because she knew I’m the one and her behavior was just because she’s a confused girl ? And on the first time we’ve had sex she surprised me with saying we don’t need any protection.I was new in the field so I didn’t know what exactly does she mean. Now I now,that she didn’t use any protection ,just me finishing out…I know she is a good girl..no actually I don’t know anything about her former live just what’s she told me.Oh jeez I thing I should just kill my self after killing her. Is there anyone who could possibly give me some wise words into my deluded mind? please? I don’t wanna feel like a victim nor to become a ‘’stud”. It’s all so fkn confusing I just want somebody to believe in,to love and to share life’s ways. . .I just can’t believe that this is my story!?
typical woman. whining on about your equal rights. i’m so pissed off right now that i’m sitting here at daft oclock looking for a little affimation. you can laugh. im a man. im insecure, yes. is that ok with you? dont you dare dismiss our challenge with “and what”? you have no fucking clue, because you were fortunate enough to be born with a vagina to abuse at will. when a longterm engagement with a woman comes to pass, a man must withdraw from social activity. if he doesn’t allow himself time, he will almost certainly incurr further bereavement upon himself. meanwhile, she’s out settling her bereavement in town exibiting herself with her sexy new outfit. ends up in bed with some gobshite she doesnt know and then has the audacity to say that a man put her there and it’s his fault. why do we have to be responsible for everything? we have enough to deal with being strong and sensitive, hard but tender, bold but considerate, daring but still compromising. you’ll never know how tough it is to balance all of those considerations. thats why you never hear about women shooting up post offices. thats why so many young men are killing themselves. if we cant find the strength to “be a man” (whatever the fuck that’s supposed to mean) then you simply get left for dead. you’re not the ones killing yourselves. dont talk to me about whats fair!ifou want to be treated better then look closer at the guy in the corner and stop sitting on the first cock who knew all the slick phrases and timberlake poses
mate, i feel something for your story. its true we dont know for sure where the hell they’ve been. never. women lie to protect our pride. fair does if it aint your wish to go out and be a “stud”. women seem to think that their companionship is enough for us but really, it’s not. we need them to be honourable. ive been with my girlfriend just over a year but a month after we first started going out, she told my that she’d slept with one of my mates just before we got together. i know, it shouldnt really matter but it feels like a reflection on me that she didnt pick me first and to this day it still stings. you see, i do have a past with other women but i always make sure its dead and buried before seriously considering anyone. your girl juggling you with another guy just isnt on though mate. not one bit. her feelings of love may be genuine in her heart but it’s not worth resenting her all this time and in turn, resenting yourself. you’ll be hard pressed these days to find a woman deserving of a genuine guy like you. i dont think it would hurt you though to go date a little. my relationship’s in the shit for various other reasons. i always have a foot out the door and shes too neurotic and complains too much. they do your head in dont they? she has experience with other people and you dont. in my opinion, thats always a recipe for disaster anyway. bottom line. you should get rid
When it would be so easy. There are times I’m thinking about finishing it and finding me a young virgin that will love me regardless to how a prick I am or how I treat her. Because that’s what seems to me my girlfriend is doing sometimes. Because she knows how hard is it to let go the person you loved as first! But on the other hand I’m afraid to be alone. By alone I don’t mean to be wanking off in a small apartment
D.No! I mean alone,somewhere ,anywhere on this planet without a person that understands me. Because what ever she does and however fuckdup past there is in our relationship,she still is one of few people on the earth I know that understands me……or maybe not. I am not shure about anything now. It’s because shortly after we had our first sex she then out of sudden became unshure about us. Oh fk I’m so confused!!! It’s like a worm eating my brain after it just renewed it self. I got that clear thought that I should leave that cunt and then there is that thought that she is just a little confused girl that loves me but it’s just afraid of the world and the people. And these me against me thoughts are fighting each other. So in most of the cases I just let it go and forget about it. I don’t know what is right or wrong anymore! And that is the problem. The problem is that I am looking on the world with her eyes and that allows me to get over situations like when she sleeps with another guy and me at the same time. And again…I can’t believe that this is me writing this shit!!!Makes me wanna puke my life out of me! Jeez!
DDD when that is not silly???
And there’s more. All of this is just a point of view. Polygami,monogami,oregami…it’s just a game and depends on the society what rules the majority stand for. It automatically doesn’t mean that whats good for the majority is good for me or for the game. It literary is just a point of view of anybody! Just look at the thought of free love. I think that it isn’t that bad thought! Well at least when you are a guy who stands for this thought I believe you’re about to live a long and happy life. Because I believe that guys die younger just because of that stress they got by thinking that their female is somewhere fucking another one!!! Thats all there! It is science! Thats why we die sooner then them! So in order to prevent me from dieing younger I should : stop smoking,stop drinking huge volumes of alcohol at a time,stop eating all that junk food and drinx – start eating healthy and natural food and of course according to my recent conclusion stop focusing on just one woman and being monogam and become a polygam or maybe even mix man to man relationships to it all. I mean why not? When we are questioning these days the spiritual and body purity of the two people at the point coming into a relationship and even during that relationship ,lets stand it all on the head! Lets put in question everything! Why shouldn’t a woman have the right to have sex with enyone she wants? Right? My answer is ok, fine with me! When you want to have sex with anyone ..do it! Fine! But my opinion is,’I am not going to raise children with a whore,because I am not going to make one with a woman that behaved like a polygamic count. I am going to have sex with her(when that’s what she obviously stands for even she says the opposite) and then when she says ”marry me and make me a child” I will say Fuck You!And find me another polygamic female because obviously there are no other these days! Or look,I’ll rather hook up with a guy who might not have titts and a pussy but atleast I’ll find one who’s got the same point of view on this rotten world
So if there is a girl or woman reading this, please now that there are men that don’t won’t you to have sex a lot and with anyone! There are men they want a cute and seriously monogamic girl waiting for the right guy!!! And they want a girl with moral fences,because when you get down on the guys who want fk you stright away and you do it for his eyes,butt or money, then the world is doomed !!! Howk!
My world is damned! A she devil stole my heart and now I live without any sprinkle in my eyes. Like a puppet , like a zombie!
Words are only words..the deed is what counts and that goes for women and men equal. Oh yes and too much TV fks it up as well!
I’m not whining. I’m just confused as to why it’s seen as different for women than it is for men…your post totally misses the point anyway. Men shooting up offices – WTF?!
The point is that if men can go out & have multiple partners & not be slated for it…women should to. It’d save all the hassle of people cussing each other in the long run
it is not so easy. I do honor my live and so I honor hers! I honor her thoughts and decisions sometimes even over my own. Because I want,no I need to believe in the purity of her! Because I want to believe in the purity of my and of the soul. Soul of all human beings! I love her and I don’t want to fuck with everybody. My point is,’I want just one person to believe in the same thing I do..in our love!!! Thats all. Call me naive,call me stupid or a wierdo but know that I don’t call my self that way. I am a man and my decisions and my thoughts are something that is mine and only I got the patent for it. No got ,no religion,no society,no one else! Only me and my choice!There is no devil or God deciding for me. It’s me and I want to do it my way! I’m just so terribly sorry that she did piss on me head
And now I’m the idiot who’s got to love her and carry her on my hands as a queen after there were guys fuckn her butt,mouth,pussy and I don’t know what else did they do with her and I shall be acting like there was no such a thing!!! Thats more than stupidly ridiciolus.
She is my little princes in white dress and I am the prince on white horse. Right it’s all fkd up…wrong planet for me
granted. i can get a little extreme in my descriptions, fair enough. the point i was making is that most guys in desperate need of sex (the vast majority of us have been there at some point)tend to become over zealous and scare women away or lose faith in themselves and become reclusive. which can lead to all kinds of pent up feelings of bitterness or resentment either turned inwardly on themselves or outwardly on the opposite sex and the rest of the world. basically if men appear to be wanting,the chances of getting are very slim. saying that men are not slated for sleeping round is untrue. why is it then that women sleep around and call it liberating and when men do the same we get refered to as “a pig”? as if its disrespectful to admit that we have needs. men are conditioned to keep things bottled up and women are always turned off when we cry. thats a fact. equality can only be a door that swings both ways. Many of us guys do often feel like the weaker sex, believe me. we just know that its suicide to admit to it
well. you’ve speared the head of a whole loada stuff there. though it does appear, judging by all that text. that you probably got pissed and wrote all that
hey man, either you’re chock full of integrity or paralysed by fear. you know that she knows she got you by the nuts. and it seems to me. everytime you wriggle, she squeezes a little harder. this is why men have to be stubborn. they (women) have got us cornered and it only takes one to run you through. i am by nature, a sensitive guy but i believe in being a spikey son of a bitch. you gotta shoot them down when they pull their manipulative shite. they all do it. their definition of a good boyfriend is a subversive dope who’ll keep taking punches and apologise for it. i’m in the process of cutting out my heart. my girlfriend has accused me of giving her spots on her vagina and is adament that ive been cheating. ive not been within seven inches of a single female soul. women are good at these games. though she has said she loves me, she doesnt trust at all. fuck all of the “ogamys”. i believe in unilateralism. the pursuit of wholeness in one’s self and lateral thinking. it’s natural to seek companionship but we’ve got to want it. not need it. i dont think it’s right to “need” people. when i first met her, i was instantly besotted. she stood by for months before she reciprocated any affections. initially, prefaring one of my work collegues. then after a month or so we’d been going out and id heard of another. two guys that i worked with! but fair enough, she didnt actually cheat (or so i believe). ive always tried saying to myself “i’m the one she’s with blah blah blah” but then i think “fuck her”! im just the soft twat at the end of a line who believed in a fantasy. i had built her up so much that i just had to come down to earth. and here iam. it’s not right! we shouldnt allow this. she is lovely, deep down but she doesnt deserve my commitment to her. ive given her a year. and im still hearing the same mistrustful and hurtful accusations. she may be off fucking some nobhead now as means of tackling her grief or to stick it to me. i dont know for sure but she is a woman after all. they know how to cover their tracks and sop it up with excuses instead of just admiting to having an itchy fanny. they always have their cake and eat it. then they get fat and no fucker wants them and its just a matter of timing which silly sod gets bolted down with someone elses bastard child. “surprise! you’re fucked!”
I do realise that men can get some stick for sleeping around, but in no way is it comparable to the way women get insulted for doing the same thing, I think most people can agree on that.
We all have needs so we should all be able to embrace them whenever we feel like doing so, both men & women alike.
But I do agree that there is inequality for men also like you said, so fair point raised.
Argargaaaarg this is the most infuriating post I’ve ever read agh aaagh aaagh I just want to bite my own arm off just so I have a weapon to clobber you with gaaarrrr.
she dates a bunch of men, in a short space of time. has sex with the ones who dont matter. keeps the good ones waiting. then, puts them through a filter and see’s who comes out the other end. a good man who will have been saving himself for her, while she was off fucking lesser men. she has made a fool of him before their time has even begun. can you blame him for resenting her? and now, he hates himself for caring. modern woman makes a fool of an honourable man. so, go ahead and be a “gentleman” while they tell you things like “all those other guys didnt mean anything”. let “her” do all the choosing. you’re male and any advantage you take where she’s concerned will condemn you to hell. and dont rush, whatever you do. get into her social circle. get to know all the guys in the “group” who’ve already had a go. hey, why not become one of them? and if your real nice to her, she might just let you be her boyfriend. well, after shes fucked a couple more guys just to be sure. not that your dumb ass is gonna know until she’s got you where she wants you and she’s told you that she loves you etc. go ahead. be a decent guy and pick up the shite and heartbreak that all the studs in town left you with. be a “man” and show her that we’re not all the same. she’ll love you soooooooooo much for it!!!! i’m sure she’ll let you do a couple of her mates for comparative reasons, won’t she? she has had yours, afterall!!!!! cram that up your arse “tim”!!!
Just happened upon your site recently. I find many of your posts about how people think really well written and thought provoking, but this one I disagree with! I know this one is an old post, but I just had to comment on it.
I wanted to roll my eyes at your defense of men’s promiscuity, and why women shouldn’t be – but it’s not for the reasons you might think.
First off, women cheat just about as often as men do!… So men being hard wired to sleep around more just isn’t true. True that women have much more to lose for the reasons you listed, and true that there is a double standard. You mentioned polyandry, and a few other people already made comments on points I wanted to bring up, like how a woman might have slept with more than one man, but the “chump” ends up fooled into think it’s his, and raises it as such. Apparently the % (can’t think of the number I read) of fathers in the US who believe (unwittingly) they’re the father is higher than I would have expected!
And there’s also a phenomenon where scientists discovered that males produce “killer sperm” that seek out and kill other men’s sperm (if unconsciously they have reason to believe their woman has been unfaithful).
And lastly, the point about women could have lots of sex with one partner in 9 months and only produce one baby carries a huge assumption – that the man is capable of impregnating her. Not all men are as virile as they might like to think, judging by the fertility problems some married couples have.
Enjoy your site and look forward to reading more, even if I don’t always agree.
i think its just great how no one can argue a real valid point against mine. you can get angry with me but u cant say im wrong because u all know deep down that when a man tells the the real and whole truth from inside of him. women avoid him like the plague. women claim to want your honesty but they cant fucking handle it. my mates get laid by telling girls a bunch of horseshit about themselves. they string girls along with more horseshit. i cant believe how gullible women are!! a man uses his evil, manipulative side and that gets the girlies in the sack. a genuine guy gets the fucking leftovers!!! i cant even stomach a night out because i look at all the gold diggers and chav shaggers and i just wanna puke!! you all make me sick! i used to be nice but ive been ignored too fucking long in favour of louder, bigger personalities. you dont deserve decent guys because you persist to indulge the predators and leave the quiet guys in the corner. so, get what u deserve!! i hate u all! im getting what i deserve. a handshake with satan and a fucking “damien rice” cd.
I am so sick of this evolutionary mating B.S. Cheating women , need sperm form the tall man (who would never settle down with just them to raise a child for his jaw is square and his semen potent) and money from the short one to rear the precious DNA of the larger ape. I am not a vessel for my DNA and my brain doesn’t exist to feed my stomach and move my penis from place to place. If you must serve your DNA then throw away your birth control and get knocked up as many times as you can as young as possible while you are most fertile. Teen pregnancy is therefore evolutionarily noble behavior, oh and so is rape.
People make me sick with their shallow bullshit and they get what they deserve though the decent people suffer too having to live among them. Many women are too stupid to see they fall for bullshit and they would throw away a great marriage or relationship on a feeling or whim that’s fleeting meaningless and often contrived by some looser. Have to go with what you feel like doing , true to your feelings or urges (works for crack addicts who feel like buying crack instead of paying rent so it must be the right thing to do) Then they would dump a real man for some looser who manipulated their feeble narcissistic minds and they are surprised when a guy who was a piece of shit form the start tagged them , their sister , their friends, gave them herpes and sold nude videos of them on the internet. He was Mr. perfect though saying what ever you wanted to hear until he got in your pants and you lost your boyfriend or husband so you could be with him too. These women will sleep with any guy who has their ear , who ever is talking to them is the really special guy who cares and he changes their minds and feelings towards his cock. Good luck with that just let us real men know that your a dumb whore from the start so we don’t waste time caring about you to have some asshole pretending he dose steal you away beat you and toss you out the door.
Hey Mr. T I know this is late but that girl is a trouble. She wants to have sex with that other guy and wants you to think she loves you too and only you then laughs at you with him. If you marry her she will take all your money and or toss you away at some seemingly randomly time crushing your soul without a second thought and only once you have lost the precious love of your life will you start to learn of the dozens of others whom you never suspected. She will say she was just a silly confused girl (bats eyelashes) and doesn’t know how i t happen and happened again. Later when have kids she won’t remember if she banged her boss or not, or some dude form the internet.
Who remembers that stuff anyway with all the penises coming and going who can count ? hell sluts didn’t even know most their partners last names. I know it’s hard but women lie to husbands and boyfriends they will act like they love you and only you and will still spread their legs for ex boyfriends , co-workers random guys at parties (where they have drunken gang bangs) and near complete strangers. They will suck another mans cock after (after not before if your lucky) kissing you good night and telling you how much they love you with all their heart and soul. They suck cock because it’s a leap year, love you but have guys run trains on them at a party because it was a Saturday and all manner of bs. The truth is they are just sluts.
We call these women sluts because they will cast aside anything and everything including their family and their own self respect and any mans health and well being just for some sex because they likes it , not because it’s unfair male oppression but because they like to screw so much they will do anything. Not just defy that evil male social stigma of not caring about people and things other than rampant sex with those you hardly know. I for one am happy to have men be called dirty sluts as well but this is not the issue is it ladies ?
These outraged women are full of crap. Here is a clue for you ladies the only guys who consider being “a player” as a complement are other “players” themselves. They tend to flock together and compare notches where as sluts hide their activities (except from other sluts) until some nice faithful guys doctor is telling him he got 3 STDs from his little miss innocent soul mate. The only women who think the word slut is sexist are you guessed it sluts. They want to be proudly revered for being shallow sex addicts like the man sluts they call players. Women though lie marry , deplete financially and hollow out the soul of men and call it being independent and sexually entitled and liberated. Then some men go crazy and shoot them in the face and wind up on the news. Don’t do that! Dump the slut and call her a slut instead and move on to a non slut who won’t crew with your heart just to get more dick. It’s not their right to lie to you and screw who ever they want and holding it against them is not sexist.
If slut is a bad word we’ll come up with another one ladies. How about shallow sex addicted man eater or shleeter is that more you sluts liking ? Funny how calling women out for treating men as ATMS , spermbanks and pieces of meat is wrong and sexist. How about this players and sluts can now have the gender neutral label “shit heads” you still can’t run around spreading herpes and screwing everything that moves, while treating human beings as playthings though without being looked down upon sorry.
Also what some people call a player is actually what the rest of us call “a womanizer” and no one is saving mankind with their exploits is nice to think your just doing your part for the good of your species but really your just being a slut or a womanizer because you decided that’s what’s most important to you.
because woman lie about it ,men are honest ,and because woman are sick by nature ,they dont even realize it ,thats how lost they are ,men screw around because they r real ,woman do it because they are sluts by nature ,in the next 5 years woman will have all rights taken away.
anyway ,woman ,dogs ,same thing, since adam and eve, thats why woman will be decipled soon they just dont know it yet ,wait they do notice ,cant you see how ugly most woman are nowadays. They think wearing a skirt makes them hot .
This is one of the most sexist things I have ever read! It’s ridiculous.
joe 3 put it perfectly. thankyou! all this venting is great! i think ive managed to function better, finally. just felt compelled to write something positive, here.
Your first point is circular reasoning. You say men have to try harder to have many partners, so if they succeed they are not sluts, while women are. But the reason they have to try harder to have many partners is that women are called sluts when they try to get with a lot of men, so naturally, they try to sleep with fewer men.
The second point is weak for two reasons. From the point of view of society, it might be beneficial for a weaker, older father to raise the child of a younger, healthier man, because the child will probably be stronger and have fewer birth defects. So, from the societal point of view, women who are promiscuous might benefit society by being so. Secondly, birth control, like you said, solves the problem of parenting. Just because tradition can’t catch up, it does not mean that it makes sense to call women sluts, and men players.
The last point is weak for biological reasons. A woman might need to sleep with a lot of men as well, to get the strongest, healthiest sperm possible, so that her children will also have healthy sperm, and be more likely to have other children when they grow up.
Furthermore, no evolutionary reason can give men the right to sleep with many people, because we do not think of the larger societal or biological functions when they decide who to sleep with; we just act from instinct, and if instinct tells women to sleep with a lot of people, then “evolutionary advantage” cannot serve as an argument against it.
also, jasmine:
it’s true that promiscuity is different for men than it is for women, and there is no reason for this to be true. However, you say that since promiscuity is ok for men, it should also be ok for women. When, in fact, you could just as well take the opposite position: since promiscuity is not ok for women, it should not be ok for men either. From the premise you give (“it is illogical to treat the genders differently”) you can defend either of these two conclusions.
To choose one conclusion in favour of the other, you need to examine the differences between promiscuity as an act: is it good, or is it bad? Should everybody be promiscuous, or should nobody be promiscuous? If you think women should be as promiscuous as men, it means you think promiscuity is good. Why?
Answer that question, and perhaps you can then convincingly make the claim that women should be as promiscuous as men, rather than the opposite claim, that men should be as chaste as women.
it seems that our relationships with each other as human beings are becoming less marginalised. the more our ideas about relationships and sex expand. the more confused and alienated alot of us seem to feel.
speaking for myself. having come out of a long term relationship about 6 months ago. ive had a couple of one night stands, since. and i feel that what’s important to me, party to intercourse itself. is to feel a certain closeness to the person. even if just momentarily. when you have those experiences with people, that are bittersweet. like you had your time with them. a short romance, or whatever. it’s there and then it’s gone and you’re left wondering what could have been etc.
you can meet somebody and sleep with them, on impulse. it doesn’t have to be cheap or dirty. it can still be beautiful. if the basic attraction is genuine. and you’ve shared good conversation and laughed together. in all honesty though. i rush into sex because i believe that attractive women have the power of selection and i’m uncomfortable with the idea of being “matched” against other possible suiters. i’m sorry, but i always feel like the lady holds the dice.in short term encounters. i dont feel like im competing with the whole “male” world. im not “competing” with the ex boyfriend who still has a hold on her, somehow. im not “competing” with the richer guy, the more well dressed guy, the more handsome guy, the tougher or the harder guy. i mean, if i meet sombody that i really like. then theres no question. theres no comparisons. i just go for them and i dont “play” them.
ok, so to be fair. just because a woman has options, it doesnt make her a “slut”. if society could be done with that stigma. then maybe we could also do away with the “guilt” stigma thrown at a man because he just wanted sex and not alot more. he’s not a discusting pig. he’s just figuring out his place and needs a woman to touch him now and then. its natural. but god forbid, we admit that in the throes of passion
women are picky. men arent. mystery solved
Whatever. You can’t pay me to believe that women want to share their man in any world.
Even if they prefer the wealthier man to provide, his money is divided up amongst 10 women, so how is that desirable? And, on top of that, I don’t even get my man on the days I want him? That’s bs.
The Sphinx´s last blog ..Venus vs. Mars: Love & Commitment – Part 1
This article is great. I’m glad someone finally put this issue into a realistic context.
It’s also very entertaining, if only for the controversy it brings with it. All the nasty cum dumpsters commenting and telling you you’re a “retard” and how this article is the biggest lie they’ve ever read (most of these women don’t seem to have even read the article, they just jump in and start randomly defending their disgustingly loose vaginas).. It is sadly predictable, yet still endlessly amusing. The first comment was the best one I read, just cuz if u click her name, u see that her blog is yesiamaslut.blogspot.com. Now THAT is rich. One of those unnatractive turbo whores who thinks she’s some pagan druid thing, uses the same few big words over and over to try and sound smart, and has no purpose other than spreading STDs and having abortions… you must be so proud.
Of course some gals are gonna find this offensive. That’s what happens when you explain to a slut why them exercising no self control and being reckless cooze is unhealthy for them and for society.
And to “fella” your post is 100% true as well as funny at the end, keep your head up.
To “jasmin” who said “We all have needs so we should all be able to embrace them whenever we feel like doing so” Does this mean that, as men, we should have sex with a woman whenever we’re horny, even when she doesn’t want it? I doubt this is what you meant, but another double-standard pops up here. Men should exercise this self control, regardless of how many chemicals in his body are telling him to do otherwise. But a woman doesn’t need to exercise the self-control not to fuck everything under the sun. (This is another point that all the defenders of slut-ism are totally ignoring)
I wish I could sit here and go thru every idiotic comment about how it actually is okay to be a whore and double standards are all that mess, and basically every idiot who’s trying to refute the facts pointed out in this article; I wish I could explain to each one how utterly stupid and endlessly ignorant the “points” they made are, but what do you say to a 3-year-old who just keeps saying “No! Two plus two is Five!”? I mean if they’re not smart enough to understand the article, then they’ll probably never fully understand the points it makes.
Anyway thanks for writing the article, you enunciated what many couldn’t put into words this well, and/or what many are afraid to say.
I don’t agree or disagree with your post, but if your going to post something,you should rely on real facts and not some chauvinist twisted and well plain ignorant view. But then again what the hell do i know after all ignorance is bliss!!! or so they say….
“you should rely on real facts” Camille, here’s some steps that’ll help you look like less of a babbling, uninformed jizz mop.
1. Read article.
2. Comment on it.
…you’ll notice that facts, almost exclusively, are cited in the article, you sputtering horse’s ass.
Great American Double Standard!
The only part of this post I am going to address is the evolutionary benefit because that is the only real argument in my opinion, the rest are simply drummed up by the male ego of the writer and those opinions are not valid arguments. As far as an evolutionary advantage towards men having sex with anything, this is true in theory, but the same theory is also applied to women in an evolutionary sense. It is said that women will sleep around and continue to sleep around in an effort to find the absolute best sperm for offspring. Being that a woman will never actually find the best one, it is clear that she will continue searching and building partners. Secondly on this point, it is important to know that sex in the evolutionary sense is not just about having a lot of kids, its a bout having a lot of kids that will SURVIVE and be productive (this is called evolutionary fitness). Thus the 9 month advantage that many men claim they have over women in an evolutionary sense is all but balanced out. Because if he impregnates that woman and then just leaves her to fend for it herself, the chances of that child surviving healthily drop DRAMATICALLY. Thus it is in his benefit to stay around and ensure his one seed’s safety for some time before hopping off to the next one.
Now on a general note, I think that women also need to admit that they play a part in their own oppression/double standard. We need to stop calling women who we know sleep around “sluts” and “hoes” to try to impress guys into believing we’re different and just let those women be. An even better point of action to take though, is to make the same comments towards guys that you know sleep around. As a matter of fact, make it a point to ridicule men who sleep around the same way you know they would ridicule you if you did. You are only helping the double standard if you don’t. And men, please realize that despite this double standard going in your favor, the majority of the good virginal women whom most of you want for long term partners and wives are not attracted to men who sleep around. So in fact, if you are planning on getting a good girl to marry, please be aware that the standards you apply to women you must also apply to yourself if you want to increase your chances of landing one. Otherwise, you will get to sleep around as much as you want without suffering the social ridicule women do (not as much anyway) but in the end you are 9/10 going to end up choosing from a pool of women who slept around the same as you.
“even better point of action to take though, is to make the same comments towards guys that you know sleep around. As a matter of fact, make it a point to ridicule men who sleep around the same way you know they would ridicule you if you did”
Go right ahead. No guy is going to have a problem with people knowing that he can get laid easily/that women readily have sex with hm.
In my experience, women generally call each other sluts. Guys don’t think like that. The thing I can’t figure out is when girls call themselves sluts. Maybe it’s just a way to say your hot….
Sort of related to the slut subject.. I don’t have a problem with prostitutes. I don’t have a problem with women who like sex and have it with multiple guys. I don’t like chicks like this though:
http://roissy.wordpress.com/20.....luttiness/
Basically this ho had sex with Tucker Max because he was famous and she wanted to tell everyone she had. Even though she considers him an asshole and she faked an orgasm with him to get the experience over with.
If I was her next boyfriend and I heard about this she’d be dumped. It wouldn’t bother me that she’d had random drunk sex or whatever, the fact that she wrote an internet article about it and that she did it cause the dude was explicity a famous asshole (to her), that would piss me off. Not entirely sure why. Guess I don’t like name droppers.
He doesn’t touch upon why women are more of a challenge to get into bed. Its not because they want sex less, its because they have been brought up to say no. If men were brought up to say no they would also be more repressed. It’s really the fault of men that women are harder to get into bed because when they get them into bed easily they slag them off, so women are put off having easy sex. If men were not so hypocritical, they would be having more sex! And women would be happier not having to think about their god damn reputation!
I disagree with this completely. The person above me has a similar opinion, its the way women are brought up. We live in a christian society which unfortunately scorns upon premarital sex. Its worse for women because if they do happen to get pregnant, they might have to get an abortion, which is a sin right?
The truth is, we all want to enjoy sex. So how about instead of giving yourself an excuse to put down women, why dont u just wear a condom and stop being a douche bag?
‘roberta’ has made a fair point there. But i do think that there’s a big misconception about mens sex lives, here. most of us can easily go an entire year or more (or even furthermore)without sex. it may be a choice we make. but often, its very difficult to encourage women to feel sexual about you. a guy can posess all kinds of attributes she finds admirable or even mesmerising about him. he could possess everything she could want and yet she still might not feel sexual about him. or she may just not feel like it tonight. still, you cant shake the feeling that the honus is on the man and you just aint cutting it for her. which is probably true.
its not unusual to hear women complain about the general attitude most men have towards sex and how we objectify women etc. but on the flipside, i know alot of women who herd male admirers around like cattle. men of diffent statures. they “date” kind men whilst often simultaneously having explosive sex with the more macho types. this is apparently becoming the predominant behaviour style of women today. if she chooses the kind man in the end (and lets be clear that women are the ones who REALLY choose). then he’ll be sure to hear those heartbreaking stories of who she spent the cold nights with while he was patient and respectful, waiting for her. only by himself. so now you may ask. why should it bother him? he got to keep her in the end.
my answer to that question. a man wants to establish a connection early on. that doesnt necessarily mean jumping into bed. but a connection, nontheless that she is SURE of. she should be insightful enough to see that this man is amazing. if she left the bar to go jump some other guy then she aint good enough, mate. plain and simple. and a man should read the signs and know this. yes, its down to ego. but the ego should be respected. because sometimes, its all we have keeping us going. so i’ll put it this way. if she doesnt wanna fuck you straight away BUT GOES AND FUCKS SOMEONE ELSE. then no matter how well the connection. you might aswel forget about her. because no matter how much you could grow to love her. you know deep down, a part of you will always resent it. and she will sniff that out and it will piss you off everyday and it will never leave you as long as you’re with her. sad but true.
ladies, how hurt do you feel when when your man forgets your anniversary or even your birthday? men dont hurt so badly over such things. a man simply needs to feel like a man. again, sad but true. because our manhood comes into question in every second of every day, in every other aspect of our lives. how much we earn? how we deal with confrontation? how big or strong we are etc. regardless of our “forward thinking”. men will always define WHAT they are within these parameters. hell, most women WANT us to think this way so they can feel “secure” with us. there’s no escape. but we need a woman to provide the “illusion” of escape. just like women expect the “illusion” of romance. we keep our relationships alive with these “illusions” instead of truly being worthy of one another.
to be worthy of another person is to not treat people like toilets. a person should make a commitment to themselves. either you’re waiting for the “one” or you’re sleeping around. simple. there’s nothing wrong with either. but be honest from the beginning. from the first date. if you have a dirty dick or an itchy pussy then you’re not worthy of anybodys devotion. and its completley fucking selfish to think otherwise. if theres no time between sex partners, how can you be ready for anything? how? you cant. and you know it.
To ironic_isntit who rather bizarrely posted this:
“To “jasmin” who said “We all have needs so we should all be able to embrace them whenever we feel like doing so” Does this mean that, as men, we should have sex with a woman whenever we’re horny, even when she doesn’t want it? I doubt this is what you meant, but another double-standard pops up here. Men should exercise this self control, regardless of how many chemicals in his body are telling him to do otherwise. But a woman doesn’t need to exercise the self-control not to fuck everything under the sun. (This is another point that all the defenders of slut-ism are totally ignoring)”.
You have completely missed the point here. Just because some women have said that they feel they should be free to embrace her sexual needs, does not mean that those women would actually rape anyone, even if they were strong enough!!! The women were talking about embracing their sexual needs with willing partners! What you are saying is that if men are to embrace their needs this could mean forcing a woman? But this does not relate to Jasmine’s argument at all. Of course nobody has the right to act on a sexual need if it means forcing someone else! What many people have been trying to say is that no one should be judged for embracing a sexual needs as long as its legal and both partners are willing. This article does not relate to the self control you are talking about, the kind needed in order not to commit a crime, but the self control where as a woman, society wants you to deny sex for risk of been labelled a slut. i.e for a woman to say no to her instincts even though she would actually really like to have sex. Funny how men are allowed to use ‘instinct’ as an excuse, and yet women have to deny their instinct, even though it would be natural to follow their instinct. Women all round the world have fancied many different men. If nature or evolution didn’t want women to find a number of different men attractive, nature would have made women differently. If we are going to base everything on evolution, then to be a ’slut’ is surely favourable for a woman, in that a woman as far as getting pregnant is concerned, should not put all her eggs in one basket, as it were! Self control would be a hindrance, lessening her chances of becoming pregnant, as the quality of sperm is different in every man, as many people have already pointed out.
The people who quite rightly think a woman should be able to embrace her sexual needs without judgment simply meant that they should be able to sleep with willing partners!!! How ironic that your comment is the most illogical one that has been posted, and yet you have insulted people for their comments.
Recent studies looked into a ‘harem’ in a chimp family, where scientists used to assume it was beneficial for the male and the females to have one male, and yet they have now found that a larger percentage of the offspring in the harem, were fathered by different fathers, with the main male still looking after them. Obviously we have no way of knowing if the alpha male knew they were not his offspring, but he provided for them. Now the fathers of the other offspring had not forced themselves on the females, in fact after further investigation, it was found that the females knowingly went looking for other males. Sounds a bit like something from the Jeremy Kyle show. Of course, we have to be wary of comparing humans to others species, but they are our closest living relatives and have been studied for evolutionary reasons to make comparisons with us.
If we are to believe in evolution , and in particular the above mentioned case, then surely this is evidence that females are ’sluts’ by their very nature. Wrong or right, they wanted to mate with other males, frequently.
I’m not in favour of promoting promiscuity, but i see no reason to judge anyone who is promiscuous if they don’t hurt anyone and practice safe sex. If we are going to use science and evolution as a basis for our arguments, then we need to see nature as it really is. The flipside of that argument is why should we have to use evolution to excuse anything in society. Evolution is not pretty, but if we are to embrace it in its entirety, that it is dangerous, because in evolution people seem to be able to argue anything, whether it is men allowed to be sluts, or rape, war, racism etc.
The thing is, evolution is a constantly changing thing, which is perhaps why society is changing.
On a more personal note, in relation to what some have already written, I have always found it strange that people argue in favour of women been labelled sluts if they sleep around, their reason being because it’s less of a challenge for women to get sex and more of a challenge for men to get it. Well, These people have no idea how hard it is to make the decision to say no, when you feel really attracted to a man. Ofcourse, if one or both is attached then personally I would find it easy to say no, but what if you are both single and the situation is safe, why should a woman say no? If a woman’s instinct is telling her to say yes, it is the hardest thing to say no, believe me. I’m not talking about the kind of self restraint that someone bizarrely posted about, where they said something about if women should not use self restraint, then why can’t a man take a woman when he wants. I’m talking about the needless self restraint used by a man or a woman, when both adults are willing. Many women feel this. Men who feel need of self restraint this tend to be part of a religion.
Many men ( and women) like to use the argument outlined in the above article, but what I don’t understand is why some men seem to accuse women of not liking the truth about how men are ‘hard-wired’ to be a certain way and that some women can’t handle the truth. These women will be labelled man haters among other insults, and yet when a woman tells the world about how she is also ‘hard-wired’ to act on her needs, she is at best disregarded at worst abused.
Some men will use the argument in the above article to excuse their behaviour, and yet when a woman is a gold -digger she is not excused by society, and yet evolution can be used to support her in her actions. And yet women are actively encouraged to find a rich man to ‘look after ‘her, but get slated for it when they do. Sure use evolution if you want, but if we are to use it an excuse for how we act, then the excuse of evolution is surely open to everyone.
I am a women, I was born me, and the ‘hard-wiring’ in me makes me want to be a certain way. I too as a woman feel an evolutionary need in me, but the society I happen to live in tells me to basically follow the rules of that society, not my nature. And yet this article is basically saying men are they way they are, they cannot help it, well I too am also the way I am, but somehow I am expected to help it.
yes. all of these evolutionary pros and cons hold water, definately. there’s the species, the human being of both sexes. (the instinctual “being” of either). then theres the person. the “person” being the attributes of individuality. opinions, beliefs, humour, empathy.
to maintain an idea of fairness to one another. its important to understand our species. but RESPECT the individual. if we saw ourselves as only a species. then nothing would really matter. not love or friendship or family, art, music. so we’re just screwing to maintain our discusting, world raping existence. thats pretty bleak, dont you think?
im comfortable with the idea of becoming compost when my time’s through. but while im here, it’d be nice to believe that i matter because of what i give to life and people around me. giving inspires love. love is borne through respect and respect is borne through HONESTY. and thats the key!!!! the point everyone seems to miss. HONESTY!!!! do what you want but be honest! the consequences of honesty can never be as dire as constant manipulations and lies. so, if you like alot of sex with alot of people. then just admit it. people will judge you. we’re all judged for something. is that to say that we should run in fear of it? i believe a truthful person is noble. and i wouldnt judge harshly a promiscuous girl if she were truthful about it.
this is the consistent problem in society that concerns all of our relationships. people hiding behind their own bullshit. cowards making fools of better people.
heres some truth.a bit of a wanker. ive used girls and ive been used by girls. im cynical and want to believe in real love but have never experienced it. ive slept around in the past. i regret it and i dont regret it at the same time. i dont want to be someones doormat. i hate the human “species” but fight for individuality everyday. i’ll get on a fucking podium and sing my truths to the world if i have to.
not perfect but honest and objective as possible. its a fucking start!!!
Women have earned the right to vote , and they now have the same jobs as men , instead of staying home with kids . So why can’t they have a sex-life like men do? We’re working on a completely equal society here people ,
but if guys will still consider women “Sluts” when they sleep around , or say that it’s easier for women to get guys , and that’s why they shouldn’t be congratulated , but disrespected, and chided, then neither gender will be equal. women are supposed to be the ones that cry , and wait for the right guy, that their father approves of, right? Wrong, if guys want to stop being considered “pigs” when they have multiple sez partners, then they need to stop considering women sluts when they also have multiple sex partners.. Also, if guys didn’t call girls easy, or slutty when they sleep with men they’re not with, then the guys would get sex a lot easier. But alot of women feel the need to self-restrain so that they won’t be called those names. Everything should be equal for both genders. and therefor, referring to a previous post, guys should be able to cry and show their emotions, (which more and more guys are doing actually) and be able to sleep around without being called pigs. But you’re not going to get that, until you start treating women with respect, no matter about their sex life. It’s as simple as that
“Also, if guys didn’t call girls easy, or slutty when they sleep with men they’re not with, then the guys would get sex a lot easier. But alot of women feel the need to self-restrain so that they won’t be called those names.”
I agree. However, we seem to have different experiences. I don’t know any guys who call women sluts. I’ve known plenty of women who call other women, and sometimes themselves, sluts.
That said, I have hooked up with women where I was worried she was looking for something more than a good time/hook up situation.
The situation, again, in my experience, is that if you want a hook up you have to play a little game. Going up to a chick in the bar you think is hot and saying ‘Do you want to come by my place tonight and have sex? I’ll make it worth your while’ – this gets you nowhere. So you call. Make dates. Hang out some. Get laid. Most likely that’s it and you dont call again. Not because she’s a slut, cause you only wanted to have sex.
Here’s my solution – empowered women should go up to guys they want to have sex with, tell them so, then do it. Win/Win. That should be the paradigm. From what I can tell this might happen if your Brad Pitt, it isn’t the usual. Usually the guy has to do the asking.Risk getting rejected. Is should be the other way around. Guys are much less likely to reject an offer of sex. In my experience.
Anyway,if women wanted sex the way guys want/need sex, nothing people could call them would stop them from getting it. Guys rib each other all the time, talk trash about their hookups. It doesnt’ stop anyone.
BTW, if a chick is hot, like the chicks on the hills, they’ll get whatever they want, no matter who calls them sluts. The slut thing is a bit of jealousy over the market power cute, young, active girls have. As far as I can tell anyway. It’s like seeing someone driving a Porshe when you got a Chevette. “Aw that guy is a superficial douche. He’s a poser’. Etc. It’s alot more of that than anything deliberately passed down by the patriarchy or whatever they claim in Feminist Studies or whatever…..
There is another dynamic in this slut thing. I’ve known chicks who brag about the guys they’ve hooked up with, to the next dude they’re with, like the guy they are with now should be happy to hear his woman had sex with George Clooney.
With women, they seem to like it when the guy is a player. Look at Timberlake. The ladies want to hook up with him cause he’s known to hook up with hot chicks. Like they get points for that.
Guys just don’t want to think about the dude she was with before. The guy think’s ‘Hey, if he’s so awesome, you should’ve stuck with him. I resent having to compete with some fantasy person you loved before me. But, I’m still getting laid so I’ll put up with alot.’
Getting called out for bragging like this is not the same thing as being dissed for being a slut.
Again, just my experience. Women are the one more likely to brag about there conquests. Guys generally don’t. At least not to women.
amen, del taco! haha! we have to put up with them to get laid 9 out 10 times (or more!). but the ladies don’t have to put up with us. they can just “do” you. be done with you and have another guy the next day. alot of guys would consider them fortunate for being used in such a way. women can even make themselves out as victims in the process and probably improve their chances of finding a kind hearted man, who wants to be good to them. by shedding tears and saying that no one ever treated them nice. when in truth, they probably brought it on themselves. they can blame us for everything and say its because of “patriachy”. they can be openly “feminist” and chastise men because of their own laziness. claiming to want big changes. but still wanting flowers. they can lie, manipulate, cheat, even steal from us. then play the “victim” card. women have the advantages in life that they claim, they need. most of them just use them the wrong way.
the way we’re all going. it’s nobody really deserves anybody
Just want to say that though it is much easier for a woman to find a sexual partner, it’s a lot harder for her to be sexually satisfied.
So, men take note of this: all that time and effort you take trying to sleep with large quantities of women, perhaps you should work on the quality you provide.
Point taken Audrey.
Another approach would be for women to sleep around with men til they find the one that gets them off the way they particularly like. Or they could just tell the first dude what they need.
It’s not so much that men aren’t sluts or shouldn’t be called sluts. In general all men are sluts, there is no need to state such obvious things. Not all women are sluts. therefor we specify between said female sluts and non sluts.
~how to avoid being called a slut~
1. Don’t sleeping around.
2. Don’t dress provocatively (there is no reason to other than attract dicks.)
3. Don’t openly flirt (simple flirting doesn’t mean anything but you’ll still be called a slut for it.)
-this all comes down to, You cannot spot a slut in a group of men before being introduced to them. (obviously they’re all sluts anyway but for arguments sake lets say they’re not.) However with a fair amount of accuracy you can spot the slut in a group of women before being introduced to them.
Alas if you’ve been called a slut it was probably for a reason. if your complaining about being called a slut…try not being a slut. if you’ve never been called a slut and your complaining about women in general being called sluts…you are just as shallow and simple as sluts. if your feeling emotions for a word not directed at you may have guilty feelings, words mean nothing unless implemented in the right way at the right time. So let me implement a few words…
Be a slut if you wish, but don’t bitch about being called one.
thats fukd up. why should we pay for ur shit. i mean when we sleep wif yous, yous go around and spred rumours thats where it comes from. We could sleep with 1 guy, and we could possibly love him. but if goes around to his loud mouth friends and says, hey guys i got in her pants they start calling her a slut. i think its very wrong indeed. For the guys who spred rumours, hear me out.. i had a best friend who was with a guy for a year. they were both in year 10 and she finally gave up her virginity at her besties partie. a week later rumours were going around, only her and him knew about it, noone else. thats what she thought, he told all of his friends he finally got laid. She came to me crying, telling me everyones calling her a slut and a whore. a few people were txting her threats telling her we dont need sluts in the world. At skool kids were spitting on her. And bcoz i stuck up for her i started getting called a slut. apparantly feather of the flock fly together! i was a virgin at the time, im now 18. me and my friend use to get bashed at skool nearly every day. i still stuck up for her though. Not even a year passed, my friend was going through heavy deppression, cutting herself, taking drugs and alchol, fighting with her parents etc! she use to be the happiest girl in my skool. No matter what we did the teacher just sent the kids that did it to us home, but they were back after a few days. My Best friend, Emma killed herself! all bcoz she slept with one guy?? doesnt that seem ridiculous?? she was not a slut, she thought she loved him. She got sucked in. he used her, so he could tell all of his friends about it. why do people have to judge ppl like that. if a girl wants to have sex and she ejoys it just like everyother human being, she should not be judged. After emma died, i suffered worse depression, people backed off a bit bcoz they knew what they had led emma to do. i knew they felt bad. my mother had to put me into rehab where i was watched 24 7 bcoz i tried to kill myself 3 times. it stuffed my skooling up. do u see how this can effect ppl, girls esspecially. im now slowly coping now. i find it hard to sleep, i usually wake up from bad nightmares about killing myself, and emma aswell. im on a high depressent pill which helps me cope day to day. but ive never forgotten emma, and the bad experience of rumours
The fact of the matter is that men do NOT respect women who have sex before marriage.
A woman who has any form of sex is considered a slut in a mans mind. Will he sleep with her if she is willing? Most men will. But they wont respect her.
Think about this. How many time do you hear a woman say that everything was going so well and then she slept with her boyfriend and now he wont call her back?
OR
I cant get my boyfriend to marry me! Why?!?! because if you are having sex with your boyfriend then he has no reason to marry you. He is free sex with no or little obligation.
If a woman wants a man to committ then she needs to say no to sex before marriage.
No man wants to marry a slut.
plain and simple.
I don’t want to jump to conclusion (wait, who am I kidding? I do!)but Osbro and Zdewt sound like an insecure Muslim or a strict Catholic.
I think Roberta made good arguments. Nowdays we have birth control and traditional roles have been challenged (and not all of them are to the disadvantage of men). The question is why do you call and slug women who sleeps around as ’sluts’? Especially when you men (tho not all) doing the same. It’s pretty stupid cos if you say “men are hard-wired to sleep around” then they should *encourage* women to sleep around and act like…well, sluts. This will increase their chance to sleep around and be called sluts, i mean studs. Ahem, a minor slip of the tongue. Excuse me.
See?
Women who call other women sluts are often influence by men like their fathers or brothers who tell them that they should not sleep around or act like “sluts”. For the record, I don’t buy this bs and I don’t call other women sluts. Yes, I will admit that there are some stupid, holier than thou women who talk bad about other women just coz they’re lame but most who do are often ‘brainwashed’.
And for the lame-arse who said only women who sleeps around don’t like to be called slut.. I have news for ya, I’m a virgin waiting for a monogamous virgin guy to marry. I have been called a slut after been seen holding hands and coming out of my ex-bf car by GUYS (well, I live in a town not a city). Maybe they just assume that I slept with him or maybe they’re jealous cos they don’t have a gf, i don’t know but it’s not fair so i flipped them the birdie
. Frankly speaking, I think we should cease this double standard that slutty(hey, you don’t care right?), insecure males try to apply to females just to protect their fragile ego then disguise it as to protect paternity or evolution-shit or whatever.
Btw, I was not dissing males who sleep around (it’s your choice and I don’t care as long as you do it with another consensual adult), just the hypocritical ones.
I’m with you Ashe. A lot of people are jealous of hot women. Especially if they aren’t getting any or are ugly women, or self righteous.
theres an awful truth about alot of guys only staying with their girlfriends for the guarantee of regular sex. and therein is a theory on commitment. women commit easier, when they know they’ve got a good man. but its hard for a man to shake the idea of chasing skirt. and the main reason is because for many guys, its an idea and not a reality. i know guys in their twenties whove never had girlfriends and had sex maybe once of twice in their whole lives. not ugly looking guys. not unintelligent guys. just guys who arent being loud enough, obviously. women may feel inclined, sometimes justifiably. to complain about guys not respecting them. but no matter what they argue. they will never appeciate what a guy goes through, just to feel like a man. you cant feel like a man when cant feel confident to approach a woman. and we have to learn how to do that through trial, error and an awful lot of heartache and self doubt. especially when some women think its perfectly fine to look at you like a piece of shit for even trying. as if, you owe them an apology for giving them the attention that they want.
ladies, if you want guys to stop trying too hard. then you may want to get over some of your own fears. be a little more aproachable and respectful. thats right “Respectful”. men need your repect too, believe it or not. many of you girls dont even see how little YOU respect US. dont just shove past to get to the bar because you think you’re sex somehow gives you priority. dont always assume that we want to club you over the head and drag you to a cave. yes, we’re just as intrested in sex as you are. we’re sexual beings like you. so, why are we the only ones apologising? everybody wants the oppposite sex to WANT them. no matter what kind of crap people come out with. in the climate of this day and age, with suggestions of sex all over the tv, radio, internet and everywhere you go. you have to just go get it out of your system. nearly all single women get the choice of as many men as they want or ONE good man, if she can open her eyes and see him. the problem alot of guys have is that WE dont have that choice, unless we work damn hard in more aspects of our lives than any woman could ever know. MEN want to fuck. WOMEN want to fuck.
ask any single girl about her sex life and you can probably assume its more exiting than a single man’s. dont believe me? then do a fucking survey. ask, are you single? when did you last have sex? was it good? how many sex parters have you had in the last 6 months? etc. alot of the men would probably lie because its depressing how much we fail with women haha! the women would probably lie because they think that they should be ashamed.
men are begining to change the way we think of women. quite often, its just that women wont give us the time of day to show it. not until you’ve made her feel “special”. trust me, girls. a guy never gets to feel “special”. he just gets to feel like the guy who got to you before the next guy did. thats why we find it so hard to really care
The article in so many words says men are rewarded when they get a lot of women for sex simply because it’s very difficult for them to get this compared to women getting a lot of men. If they’re rewarded for that, also reward all others who cope well with or achieve difficult things. How about the disadvantaged? They have very difficult LIVES, not just difficulty with one aspect of life. The poor and disabled generaly achieve a lot considering what they have to work with.
This is bull shit. Some random ass excuses for guys to sleep around. Grow some balls guys and just admit your sluts and scum who sleep around. Next time you call a girl a slut, think about how many girls you have fucked.
Guys, grow a dick and quit making up excuses.
guys try to sleep around and are mostly unsucessful. you dont get to go to bed with every girl you chat up. sometimes you can spend all night getting phone numbers and not one of them will actually reply to your txt. we resent you women, because u spend ur average weekends getting off with whoever the hell u like. a different guy (or guys) every time u go out. and we wouldnt even give a shit if you didnt make it such a fucking chore for us to do the same. you only fuck guys who impress you with tall tales about bullshit. i know, because i used to do it! and now that i want someone to like me for just being myself. i have to hold my dick down everywhere i go. sure, i know girls who mite go out with me on a nice sunny day. but why should i be hanging around being “nice” andf “relating” to them. just so they can tell me about the 20 guys they’ve fucked this month. while im holding my dick in my fucking hand! i dont care about what you call a person who sleeps around. i juyst want to know why a guy’s got to be carved out of iron to get a lousy shag, when all a woman has to do is decide whether to show up or not.
then time passes. you find a girl. and then u think. is this it? nearly a year without a fuck. just to get some bitch who has audacity NOT TO TRUST ME! excuse me, but which of the sexes is getting more action here? and then they have the arrogance to think a guy should just hang around and be a gentleman. so, you can confide in him about all those guys getting lucky with you. so, you can take your sick pleasure and rub his face in it. “oh, but thats cos she respects you” what a pile of fucking shit!!!!
women just want to not be judged for doing what most of us guys dont get to do. or at least, not for most of our lives. guess what girls. YOU DO HAVE THE ADVANTAGE. so, do what the fuck you want. just dont be surprised if guys just want to use you for an orifice. you want to be able to fuck around and still capture a mans heart when it suits you and only you! you want us all queueing up “respecting” you. so, you can cherry pick us at your leisure.
the only reason you can love your man is because you’ve tried every other dick in town. you’ve exausted youreslf around all the clubs and then decided that you wanted a “nice” man. someone who feels lucky to have you because ur so good to him, letting him have sex and all. oh, isnt he priviledged! that you “allowed” him your “mind” as well as your body. oh what a lucky guy. wow, he really should just forget everything he ever dreampt about and “commit” to you right now or he’ll just have to take the bus back to “nopussyville”.
go on girls! GIRLPOWER! WOOHOO! go take over the whole fucking show. we wont dare complain for fear of being called “sexist”. go erode your fucking vaginas! it may be better for us all. LEGALISE BROTHELS!
I wouldn’t want to fuck everything that came my way. There is lack of values and a whole shitload of peer pressure to have meaningless sex with bimbos who “put out”.Women are so screwed up and superficial nowadays it makes me sick. Let the alpha males and rich suckers have their their way with high maintence women.Stupid articles like these really show how superficial our society has become. Sex this, money that, less people going to church, women want the perfect line of bullshit so they do this or do that. What the fuck ever man. Bars are the worst because most women in those places are used and abused.
I couldnt read all of the responses to this article but I am very happy that it is turning up the debate.
My two bits:
While males who sleep with many partners are often called “studs” they eventually morph into “commitment phobe losers”. What makes you cool in your early 20s makes you a loser in your 30s, and you feel it first hand when you witness all of your friends married with kids enjoying life and you are all alone in your singlehood.
In your 30s, as a man, it’s easier to find prospective mates than it is to find flies in a pile of dung. The women are sex machines, rampant to screw anything they can if they are single. Unfortunately, they are single for a reason: they could not prove themselves to be an adequate wife, either by their own choice or by choice of their previous respective mates.
I am truly appalled at the state of women these days. Whereas a man would be chastised by his fellow males, family, and other woemn for “cheating” on a good woman in a monogamous relationship, and is taught by his mother and father that what he really wants to do is settle down and find a good solid woman and raise a family, women in this post-feministic society are learning truly the oppoiste.
Where a man would hear from his best friend, “You jerk, if you do that again to Jennifer I am going to tell her. Smarten up.” (NO JOKE this DOES happen chickies); women are hearing from their friends, “Oh, well at least you did something for YOU for a change. I wont tell anyone. I cheated on my husband too and it was wonderful. Its the man’s fault anyway for not pleasing you”.
I myself have been cheated on by virtually every woman I’ve been with in the past 12 years. Its not that I’m sexually inadequate, I get a woman off an average of 6 times per sexual session and I usually last about 45 minutes of straight intercourse. I can cook, clean, take charge and protect my woman, in a way I actually have my own army ( I run a large paramilitary organization ). I am smart and have excellent income earning potential, I am kind and treat my women like princesses. So why do the women cheat?
The answer to that question, as I have done a lot of learning and research as I am trying to find my one true monogamous mate, is the post-feministic teachings of today’s society. Women are taught both through our laws and through family upbringing in female mentorship that the world is their oyster and that men are irrelevant fools who merely need to be used and put in their place.
Look at childbirth: It is in all cases, the woman’s decision, and her decision alone, whether to carry to term, adopt, or abort the pregnancy. The man is screwed any way. If he wants to keep the child, even raise it alone, she can put an end to that. If he is not ready to raise a child financially or emotionally, she can slam him on the hook for support regardless of his wishes and he will be paying for 20 years. He can even do the right thing and try to raise this unwanted child with her, but she can leave him for virtually any reason and take support cash from him in leui of letting him be a proper father in a two parent family.
Look at marriage: A woman can have a career, work, right alongside the man, yet if she decides for any reason she is bored or wants to leave, she can file for no fault divorce. Suddenly the family assets become divisible, and if she did not get as educated as the man and enter a career where she was paid as much as him, the discrepancy in her income earning potential nets her an instant profit in either a lump sum or monthly payments. Prenuptial agreements are struck down all the time; so even when women agree in spirit not to do this the courts back them up in robbing the men of their money – even when they arent stay at home mothers sacrificing their careers and when there are no children involved.
So we are now living in a period of time where women have no responsibility and no consequences for any of their actions when it comes to mates and children.
Mens rights groups are starting to form, where this was absolutely unthinkable 15 or 20 years ago. There is a difference, however between when men and women get angry about their state of affairs. Women try soft power and slowly create change. Men stew and stew and stew and then make immediate, swift, and radical change almost overnight. In a way women taking advantage and slowly screwing over the male is going to be their own undoing, and I would forsee in 25 or 50 years women losing almost all of their rights suddenly and in one fell swift stroke. All it takes is one very powerful, very angry man who has been deeply wronged by a woman, to rally the 51% of the population who are males and the 15% of women who will stand by their man to immediately change and reverse all the gains women have made.
THis all said – I am no chauvanist. I enjoy that women have equal rights, and can work or make choices. However when it comes to mating and the family, the laws have to be changed.
I and many mens groups propose the following amendments to the law:
1) That a man can, immediately at the time of being informed of a pregnancy by the female, up to the moment of birth, opt to either (a) accept responsibility for the child, or (b) file an affidavit stating the child is unwanted and taking him off the hook for support, which he could rescind at any time up until the child’s birth, at which time it is permanent.
- This would place the onus on the female (the only one who knows for sure she’s pregnant) to tell the male as soon as possible about the pregnancy. If he was not interested in fathering a baby, then it would be up to her to convince the man to do so, or raise the child on her own or adopt or terminate. No more would be the women who get pregnant, take off, then the first the man hears about it is the child support papers in the mail when she lives in another state.
2) That in marriage, return to fault divorces. If a woman is leaving a man without fault (abuse, infidelity, etc) then she is entitled to zero payments and zero joint assets other than her personal belongings. If she proves fault on the part of the man, then she is entitled to 100% of the assets. The burden of proof rests entirely with the filing party, and must be rock solid.
This would end these “Eat Love Pray” type of divorces, where the woman simply is bored, and walks away from a husband, house, family, to run off and screw other guys. It would also, in fact, terminate the reverse – a man who left his wife for a younger edition would be entitled to no share of the joint assets either, which is only fair. The party left behind is emotionally devastated, and did no wrong. They deserve the joint assets and the person walking away because they just dont feel committed anymore has to leave with virtually nothing. Fault in the case of abuse or infidelity comes with real consequences, for either party.
–
However in today’s society women are taught by the laws and even their mothers (In my own case, my fiancee’s own mother encouraged her to take off and sleep with other men during the engagement, just so she could get more experience, finding out this fact made me really sick to my stomach – because the mother truly liked me and many times thanked me for being such a great companion for her daughter…. and in constrast, this same mother taught her son who was a few years older that he should find a great woman and settle down to have a family. The son did just that and received all the support in the world, while the daughter was pressured and convinced to sleep around… made me sick) that infidelity is something women deserve and that they should face no consequences.
This world has got to change. When a guy like me who is relatively successful ( I have my own 4 bedroom house ), in great shape (paramilitary), powerful (paramilitary), rocking in bed (the average woman has an orgasm one in 3 intercourse sessions, I average 6, minimum 2 maximum 98 times and I’m not joking, I’m fine with 6 thank you) who treats her well yet she STILL has an urge to cheat tells me that these women are screwed up in the head – they are taught to cheat, its nothing biological at all to it.
In my own examples, the cheating “instinct” discussed above is false. 12 years ago my girlfriend cheated on me with a loser guy who was constantly going to jail for getting drunk and doing stupid things who was her best friends’s boyfriend. At the time I worked in investment banking. My next girlfriend cheated on me at least three times, I worked in investent banking and ran my own business, she cheated on me with an unemployeed fool who worked minimum wage if he could who wasnt even great looking, a fat dorky married man with three kids, and some dumb schmuck who played bass guitar in a band and worked as an office administrator at her university, I saw the guy and he looked like he dressed like a 22 year old kid, when he was 34.
The instinct to cheat is nothing other than “I should get what I want when I want and with who I want it with”. It makes me sick. It’s really not these women’s fault, no more than it is a boy’s fault that he gets into fights at school when his father is always telling him to punch anyone who upsets him in the nose.
This is an excellent topic.
absolutely brilliant, that last post!!!! thankyou!!!!!
Think of it this way: a key that opens many locks is called a master key. A lock that’s opened by any key is just a shitty lock.
Bar girl bedded 200 men after surfing web for sex with strangers | News Of The World
http://www.newsoftheworld.co.u.....ngers.html
What a SKANK!
“A woman being proud of getting laid is like an alcoholic proud of getting drunk.”
http://www.inmalafide.com/2009.....game-isnt/
The reason a man cannot decide weather or not to keep the child is because the woman’s body is the one which is going to change and it will affect her physically not the man. Pregnancy has many negative affects on the body of a woman. In her last trimester it becomes hard for a woman to move around and hard for her to earn a wage to support herself. Then comes the painful experience of pregnancy and all the complications which may come with that pregnancy and child birth. After a baby is born it needs to be fed breast milk and taken care of constantly and I mean constantly. After approximately 2 years a child may be placed in child care to allow the mother to earn a wage. Child care is expensive, raising a child is expensive.
Abortion which is another option can be an emotional painful experience for a woman who falls pregnant. When you have a life growing inside you that is 50% yours, killing it, even when you are doing so because the prospects of raising a child would be considerably worse will still most always leave a woman in doubt for the rest of her life. The question will always be what if? And it may feel like grief, loosing something or a someone.
If a woman chooses to have a child and the father has any doubts if it is theirs they can ask for a paternity test, and I believe all do when facing the possibility of having to pay child support. Because a woman gets to choose to keep the child or not can mean that the father of the child may have little interest in the child as it never wanted it in the first place. In this case it is forcing a man to become a father against his will but which is worse? Forcing a man to become a father even though they may never have to take an active role in fathering the child or forcing the woman to abort the child which she wants to keep? That is a difficult question to answer. But it a reason to think that perhaps men should in fact be more careful in using condoms and be more choosy in which women they sleep with rather than just sleeping with anyone. Maybe this is also why woman are more picky when it comes to sleeping with men because the question of what to do in case of an accidental pregnancy is in the back of their minds.
In terms of divorce, relationships which last any number of years can be really complex. The cheater is not always at fault. You can’t allocate all the shared assests to any one person in a relationship. If this was the case, partners could manipulate each other into cheating just to get away with all the assets. And cheating is just one way to hurt a person you are in a relationship with. There are others, ie: shutting out the other emotionally, disrespecting them, manipulating them, becoming someone altogether different, indifference to other person, never being around, not having sex with them, not caring aobut them, holding them back, control, possessiveness, insecurities, embarrasment, clinging to your partner, critiscing, blaming, destroying each other’s self esteem, being selfish and self-centered, what ever you like, there are many ways to deteriorate a marriage. Some people might even have just fallen out of love, or maybe they got married too quick, maybe there is a large age gap, maybe they grow to want different things or fight all the time and can’t reach a compromise. Each case is different and divorces can get really complicated.
If you’re worried about being cheated on or you find that you get cheated on alot, weather you are a man or woman its a time to reflect on your life and ask yourself why? Are you repeatedly choosing the type that cheats? What can you change about yourself that will mean you can attract a better potential partner?
On the agenda of sluts. There are and probably always have been people from either sexes, both man and woman who sleep around alot. Is it right or not? Maybe its just personal choice. If you are worried about contracting STDs or falling pregnant be diligent in using condoms. If you are a man and don’t like “sluts”, that’s your opinion. But it is not ok to call a woman a slut if you yourself are a slut and then to go and sleep with that slut, thats just hipocricy.
On the topic of monogamy, it also comes down to something more than just sex. In a monogamous relationships your partner can become a valuable part of your life. They satisfy your physical and emotional needs. This is generally why people get into monogamous relationships in the first place. People who sleep around usually just want sex and only sex. When people get into something and want or expect differnt things thats when people get hurt. I think its important to also mind our own business when it comes to sexuality. Each individual has a right to make their own choices. And both men and women should take responsibility for the way they treat each other.
While you make some good points, something has to be done about the current system. The legal and social systems of today allow women to get away with almost anything when it comes to men, especially when it comes to childcare and marriage.The childcare and marriage system is completely rigged against men.
Many men don’t even get the chance to take a paternity test because they never hear about the pregnancy until the child is born. The courts then usually force child support on the man without even hearing his side of the story. Some women even try to get pregnant on purpose by using a man’s condom after sex without his knowledge.
Marriage is another problem. The current system allows women to easily walk away with no strings attached while giving men almost no options even if the woman is at fault in a marriage. There needs to be more equality. Getting married is a huge risk for men. A man’s wife can divorce him at the drop of a hat and ruin him financially and emotionally, as well as taking the kids.
The fact is that there is no accountability for women. All responsibility and accountability rests on men when it shouldn’t.
Also, there are far more female sluts than male sluts. Women have sex far more often than men in general. Sex is easily accessible for women, but it takes a lot for a man to get even one fuck.
Id just like to throw out a couple more points, mostly physical.
Intercourse for woman is submissive in general, they have to OPEN up and TAKE it, either in the mouth, the vagina, or the butt. All of these have massive possibility of discomfort from a too-big or a stupidly-operated penis.
This has a few implications.
- slutty girls tend to have looser everything (but mouths) due to this variety and thus perhaps are less enjoyable especially for those guys sensitive about their penis size (80% of dudes)
- sex involves a lot more trust for a girl, as they dont want to get hurt or (splattered or choked) with semen. Thus slutty girls tend to give the impression of gullibility, or of implicitly making mistakes. Its a number game!!!! If a chick has slept with 20 guys, i bet at least one or two has shot semen down her mouth or on her face, and thats kinda gross if you think about it, not like a deal breaker, but definitely not a pro- when weighing pros and cons.
To counter this, as a dude, my penis doesn’t shrink when i have sex with many women, small or large vagina included!!! And also, i have never been surprise choked, or had painful intercourse and i don’t have to worry about getting splattered with goop- which is all kind of imo demeaning. People who look questionably at girl ’sluts’ just know how douchebaggey men can be.
oh also for a guy to completely clean off from sex takes seconds… i dont really think a woman can ever really clean out her vagina… and if they can its freakin hard, no one wants to eat a girl out with semen still up there. ive came in a girl before and her leave without washing! and ive known a girl who hooked up with more than one guy in a night! if these 2 girls shared their habits… its every guys nightmare and part of the nasty ’slut’ term for chicks.
I’m sorry for the vulgarity! This is not something I would bring up to a girl! They get very sensitive about their past and its generally something that left in the past, but these could be reasons why girls sluts are more frowned on. Add to the fact that its 100% freakin impossible (more so than like 50% for a guy) to tell whether a girl has an std, and you can begin seeing where this fear and loathing of girl sluts comes from.
Good topic.
Lets put it this way.
Your playing basketball with your friends.
(men)You do a slam dunk every one like “woah how you do that?”.
(women) Jordan comes up and does a slam sure its cool but he can do those in his sleep.
Give me a break!! This article is ridiculous. Let me tell you I have been with 14 guys in my 32 years of life and my 37 year old man has been with more women than he can even count. But who would be the SLUT?? exactly! If a women has sex it’s not always to get off…but for a man 9 times out of 10 it’s to get his rocks off!! FACT!! I am a woman, I know why I sleep with men!! So men, look at yourselves…you know what I’m saying is true you just don’t want to feel ashamed of yourselves!! Deep down inside you know it’s wrong if you sleep with more women than your partner does men.
Shawn,
Your partner should feel ashamed of himself? I bet he isn’t and the reason why you want him to feel ashamed is because that will overide the understanding that he has the capability to bed many more women and those women are competition to you. Why would a man be ashamed of having sex with lots of women, this is what a man’s primal biological agenda is.
And how many partners do you say men should sleep with before it is wrong? So if I had a girlfriend who had slept with 2 parners and I, 10, it is wrong, or if my partner had slept with 100 and I 99, that is ok?
Deep down you know your man has plenty of options due to his appeal to women and you appear threatened by that. Oh and FACT!!! I am a man and I know why I sleep with women!!!!!! LMAO
I’m so very suprised by some of the things I have read here. Especially those comments written by men where I truly had no idea that men could have such low opinions of women.
I recently discovered that my boyfriend had been cheating on me with women whom he claims he had no affections for and even admitted during a heated argument that ‘it was just a f”ck’. I came across this page as I contemplated the thought of what if the shoe was on the other foot and I behaved the same as him? Although I am so disappointed in some of what I have read, it’s nonetheless an eye opener into the male brain, or at least an example of what some men think.
There seems to be a lot of generalising and even a few shockingly judgemental comments, the one made 27 January 2010 1:58AM I find particularly disturbing and I suggest whoever wrote that seeks therapy immediately for your misogynistic views.
Steoreotyping and prejudicing offer a simple energy-efficient form of behavior, especially in challenging situations. This stereotyping and prejudicing has just lead to unnecessary problems, and cause unneccessary negative elements – from and for both sexes.
It is ignorance and usually the person or people that start Stereotyping others (in this case the so-called slut) who are actually the weaker ones because they aren’t happy if they can’t instill fear or bully other people to control the environment around them and women have been the victim of this for centuries whether in the home, the bedroom or even today’s office.
It’s what you don’t know that you end up fearing the most. And how can any of you truly know what someone has really done, what a person is really capable of (man or woman) and how many people that person has slept with – not that it’s any of your god damn business which I think you all seem to forget.
The thing is that people tend to accept their behaviour as “normal”, meaning as the norm or as most people do. But alas, this is usually farthest from the truth. But this kind of attitude comes with a sense that whatever it is that others do that deviates from their behaviour is not “normal” and should be either corrected or pointed out as “deviant”.
If we, all of us, took the time to understand why some people behave like “this” or like “that” and why their responses are as valid to them as ours are valid to us then we would start grasping the concept of tolerance. It’s not that what you say or do is wrong, it simply a matter of perspective.
In my experience, those quick to point others as deviants to the norm tend to have their own skeletons in their closets, and that’s most likely the reason to start this judging and stereotyping, to make others look away from them. Note, I did say only SOME people …
Some people judge others nonstop – often out loud about things of no importance at all, and others just don’t know how to behave. But who are we to judge in the first place? I’m no Christian or religious woman but surely if you’re not getting hurt then who are we to call any woman or man a slut?
Some people are insecure. I suspect that many people find that judging others distracts from their own weaknesses. Perhaps a ’slut’ challenges a male’s manhood? If you were so damn good in the sack then why on earth if did she feel the need to go sleep with him?
People view others as they view themselves…this leads to judgement. Don’t worry, their is a mirror on both sides.
But all of this nonsense just sounds like a huge pile of insecurities. Most of us are insecure so we judge and ridicule to cover up our insecurites.
And as a woman (who is at the wrath of what possibly could be labled as a male slut who surprise surprise blames his infidelity on a so-called female slut) I will conclude that the most natural retaliation which seems to be clear from the male comments is that in order for a man to redeem himself from his debauched behaviour with available women, instead of taking responsbility for his actions or in some circumstances simply
admitting to his weakness, it’s far easier for a man to point the finger, judge and blame the ’slut’ and by doing so men feel better about themselves.
…. Or perhaps there’s incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occured from a male and female perspective.
Jasmine, did you read the article???
You said:
Double standards in one word: suck.
I myself have had quite a few sex partners, and yes, I’ve been slated (mostly by guys) for it. However, when guys hit on every girl in sight, when they sleep with as many girls as possible, when they flirt with every girl that walks their way…nobody bats an eyelash. Even if he is called a playa by his friends, it’s not in a bad way…it’s actually seen as a good thing! If a girl were to do that she’d be seen as “easy” or a “slut”. Where’s the sense in that?
====================
First of all, the author explained it is not a double-standard. You are compairing apples to oranges. And where’s the sense in that??? He just gave you 3 points, the first 2 of which are right on the money!!
Even when explained in plain English, you women STILL miss it. How can you be so thick headed?
Sleeping around is easier for women, therefore it’s not respected. Men actually have to work hard at it, therefore it’s respected much more.
Here’s the author’s explanation:
For women to rack up a lot of partners, however, it pretty much only requires a vagina and a pulse. So a man whoring it up and a woman whoring it up are hardly the same thing because for a woman to get a lot of partners is absolutely no challenge, hence no one respects it. It’s just viewed as a lack of self-discipline when women indulge in lots of sex partners because they can get new ones whenever they want. When men get lots of sex partners, it’s respected more because getting lots of sex partners, for men, is a challenge. This is just human nature: people gain respect for those who accomplish challenging feats while they consider those who overindulge in easily obtained vices as weak or flawed.
So gals, just get over it! Promsicuous women will NEVER be respected. PERIOD.
I don’t like it when people argue, “It’s easier for women to get laid” because those that argue it are looking at “getting laid” from a male’s point of view. “Getting laid” for women, is much deeper, and involves a mental connection. In order to “Get laid,” a girl needs to find a guy she likes both mentally, and physically, so the baby she carries has desirable mental and physical qualities, at least, that’s my understanding of a female’s biological process in regards to reproduction. Men look for physical signs of fertility and health, so the baby conceived can be brought to terms. So I’d say it’s about equal for both sexes.
Not really. The truth is that women have sex to “get off” just as much as men do. Men and women are pretty much equal as far as emotional investment into sex is concerned. This fact has been largely hidden due to media bias and women, who want to make it seem like their sexual escapades have a “noble purpose.”
Besides, none of what you posted changes the fact that sex must be earned by men but is easily accessible to women. Also, most slut propaganda against a woman comes from other women in the first place since women prefer to damage each other socially over direct confrontation. Women know that they can get sex easily and don’t like it when other women exercise this power.
This seems like a desperate defense for a rather simple issue.
Firstly, it’s convenient that the author totally ignores the fact that the word “slut” is a social stigma attached to a long history of sexual repression, religious fundamentalism and male dominance.
People that call girls sluts aren’t thinking about the biological and social implications of the girl’s actions, they’re following cultural norms that are advantageous to them. Plain and simple.
Keeping that in mind is of paramount importance when discussing the term. If the author doesn’t recognize that, they’re a total fool. If they did recognize that and didn’t bring it up, then this article is massively academically dishonest. In either case, you cannot talk about issues like this without contextualizing them. It’s a joke. It’d be like having a discussion about sectarian violence in Iraq without mentioning the occupation. “What are they so mad about?” Hmm, I wonder.
But let’s deal with the article point by point here, keeping in mind that we are defending an oppressive term against women and an encouraging word for men on exactly the same moral grounds.
First the author claims that it isn’t as easy for men to sleep around as it is for women. There are certainly exceptions but we’ll grant the point. Fair enough, but how does that support his argument? Because it’s easy for women they should be bashed for exercising it?
Keep in mind that sex is a two-way street. For every stud there MUST be a slut, so you’re encouraging not just a double standard but an inherit contradiction. It’s beyond nonsensical, it’s direct stupidity.
If we grant the premise of the author’s argument, there could BE no studs. If women kept themselves shut off and men are encouraged to have as much sex as possible, someone is going to lose that one. So it might as well be women right? Certainly works out nicely for the guy, he gets to have all the sex he wants and the women takes all the blame for it.
That might sound partisan, but it’s that basic context that’s missing from this article.
Second, women do more “harm” by sleeping around. The entire basis of this claim is that “no one knows” who the father is if the woman sleeps around.
It’s called birth control and DNA testing, I’d say that’s solidly debunked.
Even if we grant the author’s point, how is that OBJECTIVELY WORSE than 5 pregnant women with a father that doesn’t give a shit about any of them? It also has the basic problem of arguing for objective morality, which is cute. Tell me, how can one scientifically measure how much “damage” is done by this? What’s the metric system for determining it?
Third reason, men are “evolutionary programmed” to sleep around. At this point, I have to just be mocking about this. Woopty-fucking-doo.
Men are also sentient creatures capable of denying their basic urges if they don’t agree with them. It’s why we don’t run around raping, eating, burning or killing anything we see. Human beings collectively decide what behavior should or should not be accepted. Arguing that human beings “naturally” are some way or another way is irrelevant to deciding what we will or won’t approve of in a society.
Furthermore, human beings are no longer in a natural environment so arguing for “natural” circumstances is nonsensical. Stop driving your car or using your computer if you believe that, evolve natural solutions to them instead.
Even if we grant ALL of the author’s reasoning here, evolution has no bias towards anything except what keeps the species alive. The author’s notions about this being “better” for women is misguided chivalry at best and flat-out eugenics at worse.
Organic creatures adapt to new environments and surroundings and there is no such thing as a “superior” social setup except one which keeps the species alive better.
In that regard, all of the author’s points are trivial differences. What does it matter that more babies are made via male promiscuity if no infrastructure is in place to provide for these new children?
Sex is not exactly in short supply, it by no means needs to be regimented or amped up. Human beings have plenty of babies on their own, almost always with single partners.
Sorry to write an essay in response, but it really took this much time to break down all the massive flaws in this argument.
So, to respond to Saladin…
“People that call girls sluts aren’t thinking about the biological and social implications of the girl’s actions, they’re following cultural norms that are advantageous to them. Plain and simple.”
I disagree with this.I could care less about the cultural norms you speak of, particularly since I see not how they benefit me significantly in this case.
I just call them like I see them. Women who sleep around at an exorbitant rate are sluts. No real malice here(I will concede that I held much malice at one point, but I’ve passed that stage), they just are what they are, and that is what I believe.
I don’t view this with an eye to cultural norms. I actually do tend to analyze this debate(and others like it) in terms of the social and biological implications of the girl’s actions. My opinion is simply that these implications are exceedingly negative(yes, more so for women than men IMO-I’ll back up my viewpoint later by supporting the original author) for women, hence my overall opinion. I don’t see how use of the term would preclude any reasonable objective analysis of the social and biological implications of the matter.
“First the author claims that it isn’t as easy for men to sleep around as it is for women. There are certainly exceptions but we’ll grant the point. Fair enough, but how does that support his argument? Because it’s easy for women they should be bashed for exercising it?”
No, other way around. That argument only explains specifically why men are lauded for sleeping around rather than being condemned. There are other reasons(some outlined above) why women are specifically bashed for doing it. That being said, men who accomplish it gain applause because, quite frankly, it is hard to convince a lot of women to have sex with you.
It is what it is.
“Keep in mind that sex is a two-way street. For every stud there MUST be a slut, so you’re encouraging not just a double standard but an inherit contradiction. It’s beyond nonsensical, it’s direct stupidity.”
No, for every stud there is NOT NECESSARILY a slut. You are discounting a crucial factor within the mating game: hypergamy(referred to by scientists as mating skew).
To put it simply, all men are not created equal. There is not an even spread of partners between the genders. What you’re seeing is not an equal number of men and women screwing one another.
What happens in reality is a skew: A small number of men(studs, alphas, players, whatever you want to call them) bed a large majority of the women(some say 80%, others 70%-its a big majority, leave it at that).
This is because females are naturally hypergamous. when left to their own devices, they have a tendency to seek the top percentiles of men. That is to say, those with the most in the way of confidence, assertiveness, status, power, etc(or all of the above). Thus, when women are in their reproductive prime, they gravitate towards these men and attempt to be with them. The fact is, women are attracted to certain traits and there aren’t all that many men who have them in spades. The few men who do get their pick of mates.
These are not just sluts-they are average girls, good girls, cute but sort of nerdy girls, etc, etc. For the stud, this new girl he beds might just be another notch in an exorbitant total. The girl he beds? it could be her 2nd or 3rd. or it could be a girl with much more experience(20th? 30th?). There are high chances of either one-he’ll run through quite a number of girls of each type.
The less experienced girl may still remain a good girl, even after their relationship. It will just be a small blip within her relatively uncluttered sexual history. But the bottomline is, its is still a blip and another notch for the man. It isn’t a typical “nice guy”, “reliable”, “gentleman” who got to her-it was a stud.
Will her 4th partner be the “nice guy” and not the stud? sure, but if here previous 3 were charming studs then the fact remains that the studs are getting most of the sex, even though this girl is not a slut.
The bottom line is studs are not limited to sluts. They own the lion’s share of the sexual marketplace today, and that includes average girls to. This means that there is no parity. studs are not limited by sluts because, by virtue of being studs(aka very attractive, confident, etc) they can get just about any type of woman they wish. And they do.
This link explains this phenomenon very well:
http://alpha-status.blogspot.c.....inary.html
“Second, women do more “harm” by sleeping around. The entire basis of this claim is that “no one knows” who the father is if the woman sleeps around.
It’s called birth control and DNA testing, I’d say that’s solidly debunked.”
Assuming DNA testing was mandatory today upon birth/pregnancy(it isn’t) and that trapping among women in order to get pregnant unbeknown to her boyfriend was not occurring at a significant rate today(it is), you’d totally have a point.
As it is, I do concede the fact that birth control and DNA testing do mitigate the risks significantly.
“Even if we grant the author’s point, how is that OBJECTIVELY WORSE than 5 pregnant women with a father that doesn’t give a shit about any of them? It also has the basic problem of arguing for objective morality, which is cute. Tell me, how can one scientifically measure how much “damage” is done by this? What’s the metric system for determining it?”
Fair point. I’d say they are about even morality wise.
“Third reason, men are “evolutionary programmed” to sleep around. At this point, I have to just be mocking about this. Woopty-fucking-doo.
Men are also sentient creatures capable of denying their basic urges if they don’t agree with them. It’s why we don’t run around raping, eating, burning or killing anything we see. Human beings collectively decide what behavior should or should not be accepted. Arguing that human beings “naturally” are some way or another way is irrelevant to deciding what we will or won’t approve of in a society.”
Ah, but no creature is entirely immune to their biological urges, women the least of all.
Men are naturally polygamous. If you gave them the chance to exercise that desire, they would generally do so without fail. Deny it all you want-talk about how we are “sentient creatures” and the like. It doesn’t change much at all. This natural urge will still continue to play a fairly significant role in the way men behave and relate to women. Society’s approval is somewhat insignificant-it will still be an issue regardless, and it will continue to govern many of the ways men behave. It really and truly won’t change with denial-this is a reality that must be faced and dealt with.
Female urges are just as real and just as strong. Women are hypergamous as opposed to polygamous. They desire status and/or signs indicating status/dominance/confidence over just about anything else. Men who exude these crucial traits tend to receive the most female attention.
Is this always good for society? No, not really. Quite often women follow their instincts to men who, while dominant and in possession of all of these attractive traits, could be psychopaths or poor fathers(the type of guy who won’t give a damn about rearing the offspring he fathers).
But that doesn’t change things. Women are hypergamous. This instinct will continue to create this paradox, even if we as “sentient beings” realize just how dysfunctional it is.
“Furthermore, human beings are no longer in a natural environment so arguing for “natural” circumstances is nonsensical. Stop driving your car or using your computer if you believe that, evolve natural solutions to them instead.”
The instincts developed amidst our “natural environment” so long ago still influence us today. They may influence us less with our technology and advancement, but they still matter quite a bit and likely always will.
To ignore this is to invite self defeat with regards to analyzing male-female relations.
“Organic creatures adapt to new environments and surroundings and there is no such thing as a “superior” social setup except one which keeps the species alive better.”
I suppose that makes our current setup quite inferior, then. Even compared to the older, more oppressive one(assuming species survival is the key factor).
Its like this, If you find a master key that opens up many locks, it is awesome! However, if you find a lock that can be opened by many keys, the lock is useless.
It is contradictory to claim that our two basic primal drives are to survive and to reproduce and then argue that it is somehow NOT by that nature that females are therefore “promiscuous.”
Did you fully read the piece? It explains fully well why it’s not contradictory. The key is understanding the difference between sex drive and promiscuity. Sex drive is how much you want to have sex, regardless of if its with one partner or many. Promiscuity on the other hand is a desire for many partners. One can be totally averse to promiscuity but have a sex drive through the roof. One can have an average sex drive but be extremely promiscuous.
For women, high sex drive is the main selection pressure, not promiscuity. For men, promiscuity AND sex drive is selected for. I explained the logistical reasons why above, but I’ll do so again now.
Whether a woman fucks 100 cocks or 10 cocks in a year, the most pregnancies she can have is one or two. Whether she fucks the same guy 100 times or 100 guys once apiece, she will only be able to have one or two pregnancies a year. So for a woman to get the maximum output of kids she can in a given period of time, she just has to fuck a lot. She doesn’t need to fuck a lot of different men, just fucking the same one or two men a whole bunch will accomplish the same result Therefore throughout human history, the women who had the most sex passed their genes on the most, regardless of whether it was with two partners or two hundred.
With men however there is a distinct advantage to both having a lot of sex AND having sex with lots of different people. If a man has sex 100 times in a year with one woman, she’ll have at most one or two pregnancies in a year. She is the reproductive bottleneck. If the man spreads out his 100 sex acts in a year with 100 different women instead, he can in theory have up to 100 kids bringing his genes into the next generation.
For these reasons, evolution favors promiscuous men in a much bigger way than promiscuous women. Women don’t gain as much a genetic advantage from promiscuity the way men do. A non-promiscuous woman with a high sex drive can reproduce just as competitively in reproduction as a promiscuous woman and keep her genes moving into the next generation just as well. A promiscuous man however has the potential to pass much more genes into the next generation than a non-promiscuous man, and his promiscuous children can each do the same the next generation.
If you look at cheating statistics between men and women, it backs up what I say. When women cheat, it’s usually not with as big a variety of partners as men who cheat, who tend to go for a lot higher number of partners.
I went out last night, and per the usual, I had a number of typical slutty men try to hit on me. Sometimes people tell me that a lot of men hit on me because I am “cute” or “attractive.” I myself do not take it as a compliment at all, because as this article states, most men are sluts and will go for anything halfway decent looking, especially if they are drunk. I know the moment another attractive woman walks in the door, he will slut himself out to her as well.
It would be wonderful if I could find more men that I actually respected. There are straight up sluts, guys that like to fake they are aren’t sluts to get some, and guys that are in denial that they are sluts. There have been a FEW that are not sluts, and those have been the ones that I end up dating seriously.
Yes, it’s true, I will never have game because I will never have to. In ways it sucks. But then again I do like the fact that I can go out and get sex whenever I want without doing any work if I so desire. Maybe it’s a control thing. Attractive women always have this control over men. Yet it is boring and predictable. It has it’s positives and negatives.
Because men are so easy, sometimes I do use them for what they are good for (if they’re even good at it), and go on my way. Honestly, I would do it more often if it weren’t for the fear on getting an STD. In this way I get what I want, and they get what they want. I see nothing wrong with this on either end. My main complaint is how boring it can be for a female. But then again, I’m not looking for a cocky guy playing hard to get. Simply someone with some respect for sex who doesn’t screw anything attractive in his sight.
intresting. “using men for what they’re good for”. i suppose theres no mystery then why the worlds full of dishonest men, getting exactly what they want from women and having stories to tell. it creates a climate where not only do the decent guys miss out on wild sex with the women they desire. but also, those “slut/stud” guys get to laugh at them and the women that give in to them. and its true what a previous post stated. that its not just the slutty girls ending up on their backs with these guys. its also those poor hapless females, thinking they’re getting something substantiated. only to be stepped on and then stepped over.
learning to appreciate women takes a degree of learning for sensitive guys and a alot of unlearning for predatory men. its a real heartbreaker that decent guys have to wait til the predators have had their fun and then pick up the pieces. to then spend every day with her, proving to her that he’s not a “bastard”. only as a consequence of her past actions and not his. but aint this what being “decent” is all about? would it ever be possible for the nice guy to get the nice girl, without him having to deal with other men constantly fucking it up? and women always selling out to these guys, just to make mess of themselves? most women will go for that “fix” as much as most men do. but only the woman knows for definate, if its going to happen or not. but hey, its only “sex” right? and all us blokes should just learn to deal with what we get rationed to us. boring? yes, being honest with women is pretty boring. and makes you almost invisible to them from a sexual point of view. i really struggle to see any other truth
some other guy’s cock may fit better but the best hugs come from meeeeeeee!! isnt affection wonderful????