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Why Women Are Called Sluts When They Sleep Around, But Men Aren’t

[Note: This post was revised from the original published version. Hence some of the comments below may be responding to an earlier, slightly different draft.]

SlutWalk participants cheer a speaker, after walking from Hyde Park Corner, in Trafalgar Square, central London

Women complain about how unfair it is that men are called studs when they sleep around, yet women get called sluts for the exact same behavior. It’s actually not a double standard though, because both scenarios are pretty different in terms of circumstances and consequences. I can think of at least four crucial differences:

First, sleeping around is easier for women. Regardless of how you feel about promiscuity, we can all agree that a guy who manages to rack up a lot of sexual partners has to have some skills. It’s challenging for men to rack up partners, even for good-looking men or men with low standards. A man needs social intelligence, interpersonal skills, persistence, thick skin, and plain old dumb luck. For women, though, a vagina and a pulse is often enough. Whenever an accomplishment requires absolutely no challenge, no one respects it. It’s just viewed as a lack of self-discipline. People respect those who accomplish challenging feats, while they consider those who overindulge in easily obtained feats as weak, untrustworthy or flawed.

Second, women have potential to do more harm by sleeping around than men do. Say a man sleeps around with a bunch of different women. He’s definitely doing harm to these women if he pretends to be monogamous while sleeping around. He may cause them emotional pain by his promiscuity. He may cause unwanted pregnancy. He may spread VD. When women sleep around, however, they can cause not only all these same ill effects but one additional crucial ill effect: the risk of unknown parentage.

If one guy sleeps around with five women, each of whom is monogamous to him, and they all get pregnant, it’s a safe bet as to who the father is. If you reverse genders and have one woman who sleeps around with five men who are monogamous to her, and she gets pregnant, the father could be any of the five men. And if one of those men is tricked into raising a baby that isn’t his, he’s investing time, money, estate and property to provide for a child that isn’t carrying his DNA into the next generations, a costly mistake from an evolutionary standpoint.

Our two basic primal drives are to survive and to reproduce, and promiscuous women traditionally make it hard for a man to know for sure whether he is truly reproducing or is secretly raising another man’s child. Men stand a lot more to lose from promiscuous women than the other way around. And it’s no picnic for the child to not know who his real father is either. And it’s a mess for the women carrying on the deception as well. Or just look at any random episode of the Maury show if you don’t believe me.

Since the DNA test and the birth control pill didn’t exist until recently, there were no reliable ways to prevent pregnancy or prove parentage for most of human history. For this reason society developed a vested interest in preventing promiscuity among women, and society accomplished this by creating the slut stigma. And even though the creation of birth control and DNA tests have made this less of a risk than the past, longstanding traditions and customs are not easy for society to break so the slut stigma remains.

Third, men have evolutionary reasons to be programmed to sleep around more. A lot of women roll their eyes when they hear that men are “hard-wired” to sleep around. But from an evolutionary standpoint, it makes total sense. If the two primal drives of humans are to survive and to reproduce, nothing leads to maximum reproduction like one man sleeping with multiple women. If one women sleeps with many men in a nine month period, she can only get pregnant just once. Nine months of rampant promiscuity would give the same result as nine months of highly sexed monogamy: one pregnancy. Now if one man sleeps with many women during a nine month period, you can get many pregnancies during that period. The more women he sleeps with, the more possible pregnancies.

So from an evolutionary standpoint, there are more concrete advantages to men being promiscuous compared to women being promiscuous. This doesn’t mean that women have evolved to be strictly monogamous. Women have evolved to be somewhat promiscuous too, something men badly underestimate. However they haven’t evolved to be as rampantly promiscuous as men.

Fourth, promiscuity poses more risk to women than to men. A woman has more to lose from choosing bad sex partners than a man does. She’s the one who gets stuck with going through a pregnancy and taking care of a baby alone if she chooses a deadbeat. For this reason, promiscuous women throughout history have historically been viewed as being a vastly more irresponsible risk takers than promiscuous men, who rightly or wrongly could always run away from the consequences of unwanted pregnancies easier than women could.

These four reasons explain why the longstanding tradition came about of men being rewarded for multiple partners while women get socially punished for similar promiscuity. Of course all this is gradually changing, but we’re up against millenia of evolutionary and cultural conditioning here, so don’t expect any dramatic overnight reversals.

Understand that I’m just explaining why the so-called double standard came into existence and not condoning or condemning it. This is not an attempt to pass judgment or be self-righteous in any way. It’s just an explanation of why the two conditions are treated differently.

Make sure to read this follow-up as well.

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169 Responses to “Why Women Are Called Sluts When They Sleep Around, But Men Aren’t”


  1. I love the way you sidestep away from Polyandry with the obvious lack of benefit to men – having to share one very desirable woman. Can’t tell who the biological parent is? Yeah, I know why that’s important to the guy, but to mankind overall, which man impregnated her is less so. If they are both highly desirable mates, then the 1 woman getting pregnant by either is a good thing, and she has 2 big strong men to take care of her and her offspring. Expand this to a truly polyamorous group and you’ve got a bunch of highly desirable people all together, protecting each other and having kids together. Sounds great to me.

    That is the theory, at least. Experience has proven the viability of this to be rare. Humans are simply too insecure to trust and maintain this type of relationship. Heinlein’s utopia is a fantasy… but a helluva good one!

    J R M’s last blog post..Blowing his mind


  2. I thought I had lost you forever Mr.T! And of course, as I catch up on blogs and stumble onto yours, deciding “choices” seems a bit to appropriate in terms of where to start reading, I find the arch nemesis of blogging which I know and love!

    I have to disagree with you on several points here, especially the “instinctual” concept. I take it you do not know many single women in their thirties. I will give you credit for the earlier years. However, in my situation and now knowing a great number of similar females, hearing that ticking clock, the yearning of my uterus to start mass production, even being in a long distance relationship, I find that I have an urge to take the seed of 65-75% of the population, all in the name of instinct. Now, do I act upon it? No. But that drive as we enter the final repo-friendly years, don’t knock it. Instinct to spread our seed is not merely a male role. It merely seems that way as you are an ingredient, we are the oven.

    As for the paternal drama, though seemingly sound, it puts us at the level of the male lion, thinking your spawn must be matched to you. I can stick to the argument of step-parents being a norm, I can go on about the South American tribe who believes the child is a product of all of the seeds a woman collects and all of those males are thus active in raising it, but in actuality, the role of who the daddy is? Well, not too important in the overall scheme of things. It only counts if ya need a check, but it is entertaining TV.

    And I cannot remember the last time I saw a male friend of mine, like alot of my career bartender boys, and told him he was a stud. He is a slut. It just takes time for society to wither away at the isms sometimes. Sexism included.


  3. Hey Jen, it’s been a while!! Glad you came by! Drop me a line! (email’s t@therawness.com)


  4. That polyandry might benefit a society in general in the form of “two strong men caring for one child” is largely irrelevant for this argument. The point being that it doesn’t benefit the ignorant males who, driven by the drive to propagate their seed, are possibly wasting their effort. Imagine a scenario where a promiscuous woman gets impregnated by an equally promiscuous man. Man-X loves her and leaves her, bounding off into the sunrise to knock up more chicks. Meanwhile, Girl-X convinces a coupla chumps that the bastard-child could be any of theirs. Now they foolishly all decide to pull a “3 Men & A Baby”, forgoing their opportunity to spend the next 7 years spreading their seeds. Sure Girl-X gets what she wants, but that’s about it.
    Now imagine this happens over and over again in an early society. What personality type ends up getting passed on? Certainly not the easily duped “Chump-Gene”. Those fools are busy nursing the baby who bears the genes of Man-X who is simultaneously spreading EVEN MORE of his seed!
    You’re 100% right, T. We’re all hard-wired to act how we act.


  5. smash, you actually gave me a good idea for a post…


  6. Look at it this way. You can have Roseanne Barr all to yourself, or share a centerfold model with another man. While sharing a wife isn’t ideal, it better to have a highly desirable mate than a lousy one.

    For women, something similar is at work.They would rather have an insanely rich guy all to themselves, but given a choice between marrying a nice guy employed at Taco Bell or sharing a Tiger Woods, most women would rather share the multi-millionaire.

    Polyandry is relatively rare. Usually it’s a group of men who cannot afford a bride, so they pool their resources and share one wife.

    Something like male polygamy happens now, in that the wealthiest men, e.g. Donald Trump, marry the hottest women, e.g. Ivana Trump, monopolize them during their most fertile/attractive years, then kick them out the door. They then repeat the process. The end result is like male polygamy in which high status men monopolize the most desirable women. Although they aren’t married for life to the hottest women, the high status men use them up and spit them out, and beta males wind up settling for discards. The net result is a relative shortage of women.

    Sgt Ray’s last blog post..The 30 Day Sex Challenge


  7. Smash,

    Research shows that a woman who leads two men to think that they could be the father gains more resources from the possible fathers.

    If she sleeps around with more men than that, she creates the impression that she is a whore. When men feel like the chance of them being the child’s father is small, the odds of them investing in the child are extremely low.

    Sgt Ray’s last blog post..The 30 Day Sex Challenge


  8. I agree with the first point and some of the second, but not the third. Unless you are a hugely built cute smooth talking stud it is extremely difficult to pull a bunch of partners. Now for women they just need to have a vagina and look decent. On the second point about the diseases it is bad for both to risk each other getting an STD. When it comes to a girl lying about the father of the child I would probably kick her teeth in, because it is not mine and I paid for it, because she had to go and screw everything. It does matter who the father is to me and I do not like being lied to either. On the third point men and women both have an evolutionary reason to screw everything. That does not mean we should do it. I only want one good women and thats it. The reason I feel that we look down upon women who do it is because of the first point and also that women do it in the most screwed up way and at the most screwed up time. It is not all women that do it of course it is the few or majority that give women bad names. Women do cheat more than men it has been proven. It does not help the fact that when two people get divorced the women gets the child, gets most of the property, child support, and on top of that spousal support. While the man is told to be strong and starts over with nothing or less than nothing. Look at Utah most women there are on welfare and collecting child and spousal support from at least two men. I look at them as lazy waste of space breeders.


  9. Look at Utah most women there are on welfare and collecting child and spousal support from at least two men. I look at them as lazy waste of space breeders.

    What about the LDS polygamists collect welfare from their multiple “wives” and don’t even have to work?

    http://www.rickross.com/refere.....gamy4.html

    I know some guys that do not marry their girlfriends, knock them up, still live with them and do not work, just sponging off of her and welfare. One of those guys has three kids. It’s sickening.


  10. Some men are sluts.

    The biggest: Jordanians named Abood.


  11. People tend to forget that succesful reproduction is not about getting many children, but many grandchildren. It doesn`t help a mans reproductive fittness to spread his seed, if his offspring don`t grow up and manage to do the same. Human evolution was presumably driven by competition between women to capture the ressources of men for the benefit of their costly offspring. The result is a state of socalled “near monogamy”.

    Polygamy is allowed in many cultures, but it is usually only about 2% of the men who have more than one wife. Polyandry is extremely rare and consists usually of two brothers who share a wife. Since the brothers share half their genes, the paternity problem is not as serious as one would have thought. In the few matrilineal cultures that exists, it is the woman`s brother who is responsible for the children. He would on average share 25% of his genes with them. Matriarchial societies are not known to exist ( but are sometimes confused with matrilineal societies). Presumably it is because they would find it difficult to capture mens ressources in a reliable way.


  12. Are there other real estate reference materials you recommend? Thanx


  13. The only reason it takes more skill for man to get a woman to have sex than a woman to get a man is because men are sluts. So many men will do anything for sex, even if it is sexual exploitation. Women might not need skills to get laid, but it’s sickening that they need and are expected to have skills just to avoid being sexually exploited. Biology doesn’t excuse sexual exploitation of other people (which is rare for women to do). Men go beyond just exploitation, they even brag about it. They are whores and even encourage each other to be whores.


  14. Wow dude, way to totally miss the point.


  15. Allow me to contradict you buddy : sleeping around for a girl is easy : true.

    However not to care about what society thinks, and persist in this attitude, is a CHALLENGE. Precisely because women who sleep around and say it do risk something : loss of respect.

    There is a challenge in resisting social norms and pressure : one has to be BRAVE and independent to do it.


  16. Sorry buddy

    Many wealthy men do not care so much about sex nor women. They are much more excited by real power : money and politics.

    Kissinger called it “euphoric”.

    And I am sure he was more excited by political stuff than by women’s cunts.

    I also doubt that old protestant bankers from Switzerland are cunt obsessed.

    Somehow, you are much more human than them : even if you desire to identify with those powerful men, as opposed to them, YOU are obsessed by women : this is soooo cute.


  17. Many wealthy men do not care so much about sex nor women. They are much more excited by real power : money and politics.

    Kissinger called it ?euphoric?.

    And I am sure he was more excited by political stuff than by women?s cunts.

    Okay, let’s go with Kissinger. Why would a man go for all that power if not at least partially for the glory of attracting women? If he purely wanted intellectual stimulation he could have gotten that from pursuits like books and debates, but to go for such power and money? A major factor in that drive is the desire to increase attractiveness to beautiful women. And many other powerful and high-status men apparently agree.

    Quote from Sigmund Freud: “[I]n the greater number of ambitious day-dreams, too, we can discover a woman in some corner, for whom the dreamer performs all his heroic deeds and at whose feet all his triumphs are to be laid”

    Quote from the rich and powerful Aristotle Onassis: “If women didn’t exist all the money in the world would have no meaning.”

    And lastly, a quote from your own example, Henry Kissinger: “POWER IS THE ULTIMATE APHRODISIAC.” So yes, even Kissinger, when accumulating his power, was cognizant of the advantage it got him in scoring with women.

    Don’t believe me? Check this list of women he dated once he became powerful:

    Barbara Walters, Gina Lollobrigida, Joanna Barnes, Marlo Thomas, Persis Khambatta, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Ann Fleisher, Candice Bergen, Samantha Eggar, Jill St. John, all significantly younger than him and dating him when they were still considered young and desirable eye candy.

    All beautiful models, actresses and eye candy. You can see pictures of them all at this link if you doubt.


  18. I think this is the biggest load of codswallop I have ever heard in my life. Women like men are sexual beings and have sexual urges just like men. Although I agree that men are generally more promiscous there are still many women who have the same sexual needs in some cases more. Except women are not spose to be sexual beings we are supposes to by societys standards act like good little princesses who dont know what a penis is. Sleeping around is ok as long as your not hurting people and you practice safe sex. Men only call women sluts because they want to put themselves in a position of power over the woman. Men do not like women who are sexual because they want a woman who doesn’t know just how small his weener is.
    Amen


  19. Codswallop has to be hands down the best word I’ve ever heard! :D


  20. women should be killed if i was in charge i would put the fukin bitches back in place you kick the shit out of the fukkas and they still think there all fukin tough how many times have you got to batter the bitche until they realise there just mouthy bitches who should be locked in cellars


  21. The problem with the modern world is todays society is so sexualised. People have never been so promiscuous as they are these days. We are so consumed by sex and money that things like family, friends, religion and just basic moral decency goes out the window. Stories from my grandparents and even my own parents confirm this, I always take the time to talk to an older person to learn one or two new things about the history of our world. The old days were simple, no internet, no tv and no forced media cramming what the corporations wanted our society to become down our kids throats.


  22. Bob, you’re a fucking retard! You should be killed! You’re a waste of space, and no woman would ever want you, not even your mother! Obviously you were abused by her when you were a child, and now you take it out on all women! I bet she locked you in a cellar, that’s where you came up with that idea! Men like you should be put in a gas chamber. You don’t belong in a world of civilized people. If it weren’t for a woman, you wouldn’t be here, a huge mistake on your mother’s part. That’s why she hates you, and so does every other woman and decent man.


  23. I think that saying that one party is wronger than the other is not only sexist but it is a conception. I think that promiscuous men and women should be ashamed of themselves.Just because women may manage to have more sex parners is not the reason why men call women slut. men do have double standards and anyone that does not believe that is a fool. Men sometimes do not like to get a taste of their own medicine


  24. Double standards in one word: suck.
    I myself have had quite a few sex partners, and yes, I’ve been slated (mostly by guys) for it. However, when guys hit on every girl in sight, when they sleep with as many girls as possible, when they flirt with every girl that walks their way…nobody bats an eyelash. Even if he is called a playa by his friends, it’s not in a bad way…it’s actually seen as a good thing! If a girl were to do that she’d be seen as “easy” or a “slut”. Where’s the sense in that?

    “men have evolutionary reasons to be programmed to sleep around” Oh give me a break! I know many guys who are still virgins and waiting until marriage. I also know guys who are in relationships and who have not cheated/slept around. That excuse is so stupid it doesn’t even deserve a counter attack.

    “women do more harm by sleeping around than men do” Do woman get pregnant every time they have sex? I don’t think so. Why should a woman practising safe sex (e.g pills/condoms) still be called a slut after having multiple sex partners even if she hasn’t become pregnant? Guys can pass on a series of STD’s or even HIV (yes, I know women can to, but that’s not the point)…much worse than pregnancy, anyway!

    “sleeping around is easier for women” So that makes it ok? Because last time I checked, both men and women have sexual urges and needs. So it’s ‘harder’ for you to find someone to sleep with…and what? Either way, you can still be having sex with a string of people or even paying for it. Forget the ‘challenge’ – sex is sex. Whether you’re male or female there shouldn’t be double standards.


  25. Riiiight.
    I am together with my girlfriend now for about a year and half. When we did get together she was still with another guy. I told her that I’m not having sex with her until she finishes that relationship. Well don’t get me wrong I knew her much longer than that guy and I was pretty sure that she was the one-the first one! What happened? She didn’t finish it even when she told me that she did.And now after a year and a half I’ve found out that she had slept with him many more times after she had sex with me.We had a long distance relationship at first and she wasn’t still sure about it so it was a bit weird at the beginning. But she told me that she did quit with him,then under the weight of evidence she admitted she did not tell him because the guy had mental problems..but she is not seeing him anymore and that she will tell him.then later she did quit it and we did get really together and moved together in. But at that time I didn’t know that she slept with him. It just happened accidently that I’ve found bullet proof evidence now. And I’m really down about it. I just don’t know what to think. Is she a whore because of that? I mean she tells me that she loves me ,but she told me many things before that weren’t true. And I cannot ask her anything about that because it’s a past we already did get over . But now after knowing this I feel used and betrayed and as a looser. I am an honest man and always fair with everyone. I did many times really huge steps just to save our relationship from big crisis and treated her as a queen and she treated me as a piece of shit.She was my first and I just don’t want to make records in women counting on my penis. But she was fucking him,then me and then him and then me.How can I be now ever shore that she ain’t doing somebody else when she lied to me that time with such an ease!?! Or maybe that she left him because she knew I’m the one and her behavior was just because she’s a confused girl ? And on the first time we’ve had sex she surprised me with saying we don’t need any protection.I was new in the field so I didn’t know what exactly does she mean. Now I now,that she didn’t use any protection ,just me finishing out…I know she is a good girl..no actually I don’t know anything about her former live just what’s she told me.Oh jeez I thing I should just kill my self after killing her. Is there anyone who could possibly give me some wise words into my deluded mind? please? I don’t wanna feel like a victim nor to become a ”stud”. It’s all so fkn confusing I just want somebody to believe in,to love and to share life’s ways. . .I just can’t believe that this is my story!? :(((


  26. typical woman. whining on about your equal rights. i’m so pissed off right now that i’m sitting here at daft oclock looking for a little affimation. you can laugh. im a man. im insecure, yes. is that ok with you? dont you dare dismiss our challenge with “and what”? you have no fucking clue, because you were fortunate enough to be born with a vagina to abuse at will. when a longterm engagement with a woman comes to pass, a man must withdraw from social activity. if he doesn’t allow himself time, he will almost certainly incurr further bereavement upon himself. meanwhile, she’s out settling her bereavement in town exibiting herself with her sexy new outfit. ends up in bed with some gobshite she doesnt know and then has the audacity to say that a man put her there and it’s his fault. why do we have to be responsible for everything? we have enough to deal with being strong and sensitive, hard but tender, bold but considerate, daring but still compromising. you’ll never know how tough it is to balance all of those considerations. thats why you never hear about women shooting up post offices. thats why so many young men are killing themselves. if we cant find the strength to “be a man” (whatever the fuck that’s supposed to mean) then you simply get left for dead. you’re not the ones killing yourselves. dont talk to me about whats fair!ifou want to be treated better then look closer at the guy in the corner and stop sitting on the first cock who knew all the slick phrases and timberlake poses


  27. mate, i feel something for your story. its true we dont know for sure where the hell they’ve been. never. women lie to protect our pride. fair does if it aint your wish to go out and be a “stud”. women seem to think that their companionship is enough for us but really, it’s not. we need them to be honourable. ive been with my girlfriend just over a year but a month after we first started going out, she told my that she’d slept with one of my mates just before we got together. i know, it shouldnt really matter but it feels like a reflection on me that she didnt pick me first and to this day it still stings. you see, i do have a past with other women but i always make sure its dead and buried before seriously considering anyone. your girl juggling you with another guy just isnt on though mate. not one bit. her feelings of love may be genuine in her heart but it’s not worth resenting her all this time and in turn, resenting yourself. you’ll be hard pressed these days to find a woman deserving of a genuine guy like you. i dont think it would hurt you though to go date a little. my relationship’s in the shit for various other reasons. i always have a foot out the door and shes too neurotic and complains too much. they do your head in dont they? she has experience with other people and you dont. in my opinion, thats always a recipe for disaster anyway. bottom line. you should get rid


  28. When it would be so easy. There are times I’m thinking about finishing it and finding me a young virgin that will love me regardless to how a prick I am or how I treat her. Because that’s what seems to me my girlfriend is doing sometimes. Because she knows how hard is it to let go the person you loved as first! But on the other hand I’m afraid to be alone. By alone I don’t mean to be wanking off in a small apartment :DD.No! I mean alone,somewhere ,anywhere on this planet without a person that understands me. Because what ever she does and however fuckdup past there is in our relationship,she still is one of few people on the earth I know that understands me……or maybe not. I am not shure about anything now. It’s because shortly after we had our first sex she then out of sudden became unshure about us. Oh fk I’m so confused!!! It’s like a worm eating my brain after it just renewed it self. I got that clear thought that I should leave that cunt and then there is that thought that she is just a little confused girl that loves me but it’s just afraid of the world and the people. And these me against me thoughts are fighting each other. So in most of the cases I just let it go and forget about it. I don’t know what is right or wrong anymore! And that is the problem. The problem is that I am looking on the world with her eyes and that allows me to get over situations like when she sleeps with another guy and me at the same time. And again…I can’t believe that this is me writing this shit!!!Makes me wanna puke my life out of me! Jeez!
    And there’s more. All of this is just a point of view. Polygami,monogami,oregami…it’s just a game and depends on the society what rules the majority stand for. It automatically doesn’t mean that whats good for the majority is good for me or for the game. It literary is just a point of view of anybody! Just look at the thought of free love. I think that it isn’t that bad thought! Well at least when you are a guy who stands for this thought I believe you’re about to live a long and happy life. Because I believe that guys die younger just because of that stress they got by thinking that their female is somewhere fucking another one!!! Thats all there! It is science! Thats why we die sooner then them! So in order to prevent me from dieing younger I should : stop smoking,stop drinking huge volumes of alcohol at a time,stop eating all that junk food and drinx – start eating healthy and natural food and of course according to my recent conclusion stop focusing on just one woman and being monogam and become a polygam or maybe even mix man to man relationships to it all. I mean why not? When we are questioning these days the spiritual and body purity of the two people at the point coming into a relationship and even during that relationship ,lets stand it all on the head! Lets put in question everything! Why shouldn’t a woman have the right to have sex with enyone she wants? Right? My answer is ok, fine with me! When you want to have sex with anyone ..do it! Fine! But my opinion is,’I am not going to raise children with a whore,because I am not going to make one with a woman that behaved like a polygamic count. I am going to have sex with her(when that’s what she obviously stands for even she says the opposite) and then when she says ”marry me and make me a child” I will say Fuck You!And find me another polygamic female because obviously there are no other these days! Or look,I’ll rather hook up with a guy who might not have titts and a pussy but atleast I’ll find one who’s got the same point of view on this rotten world :DDDD when that is not silly???
    So if there is a girl or woman reading this, please now that there are men that don’t won’t you to have sex a lot and with anyone! There are men they want a cute and seriously monogamic girl waiting for the right guy!!! And they want a girl with moral fences,because when you get down on the guys who want fk you stright away and you do it for his eyes,butt or money, then the world is doomed !!! Howk!
    My world is damned! A she devil stole my heart and now I live without any sprinkle in my eyes. Like a puppet , like a zombie!
    Words are only words..the deed is what counts and that goes for women and men equal. Oh yes and too much TV fks it up as well!
    :cry:


  29. I’m not whining. I’m just confused as to why it’s seen as different for women than it is for men…your post totally misses the point anyway. Men shooting up offices – WTF?! 8O
    The point is that if men can go out & have multiple partners & not be slated for it…women should to. It’d save all the hassle of people cussing each other in the long run :)


  30. it is not so easy. I do honor my live and so I honor hers! I honor her thoughts and decisions sometimes even over my own. Because I want,no I need to believe in the purity of her! Because I want to believe in the purity of my and of the soul. Soul of all human beings! I love her and I don’t want to fuck with everybody. My point is,’I want just one person to believe in the same thing I do..in our love!!! Thats all. Call me naive,call me stupid or a wierdo but know that I don’t call my self that way. I am a man and my decisions and my thoughts are something that is mine and only I got the patent for it. No got ,no religion,no society,no one else! Only me and my choice!There is no devil or God deciding for me. It’s me and I want to do it my way! I’m just so terribly sorry that she did piss on me head :)
    And now I’m the idiot who’s got to love her and carry her on my hands as a queen after there were guys fuckn her butt,mouth,pussy and I don’t know what else did they do with her and I shall be acting like there was no such a thing!!! Thats more than stupidly ridiciolus.
    She is my little princes in white dress and I am the prince on white horse. Right it’s all fkd up…wrong planet for me


  31. granted. i can get a little extreme in my descriptions, fair enough. the point i was making is that most guys in desperate need of sex (the vast majority of us have been there at some point)tend to become over zealous and scare women away or lose faith in themselves and become reclusive. which can lead to all kinds of pent up feelings of bitterness or resentment either turned inwardly on themselves or outwardly on the opposite sex and the rest of the world. basically if men appear to be wanting,the chances of getting are very slim. saying that men are not slated for sleeping round is untrue. why is it then that women sleep around and call it liberating and when men do the same we get refered to as “a pig”? as if its disrespectful to admit that we have needs. men are conditioned to keep things bottled up and women are always turned off when we cry. thats a fact. equality can only be a door that swings both ways. Many of us guys do often feel like the weaker sex, believe me. we just know that its suicide to admit to it


  32. well. you’ve speared the head of a whole loada stuff there. though it does appear, judging by all that text. that you probably got pissed and wrote all that :lol: hey man, either you’re chock full of integrity or paralysed by fear. you know that she knows she got you by the nuts. and it seems to me. everytime you wriggle, she squeezes a little harder. this is why men have to be stubborn. they (women) have got us cornered and it only takes one to run you through. i am by nature, a sensitive guy but i believe in being a spikey son of a bitch. you gotta shoot them down when they pull their manipulative shite. they all do it. their definition of a good boyfriend is a subversive dope who’ll keep taking punches and apologise for it. i’m in the process of cutting out my heart. my girlfriend has accused me of giving her spots on her vagina and is adament that ive been cheating. ive not been within seven inches of a single female soul. women are good at these games. though she has said she loves me, she doesnt trust at all. fuck all of the “ogamys”. i believe in unilateralism. the pursuit of wholeness in one’s self and lateral thinking. it’s natural to seek companionship but we’ve got to want it. not need it. i dont think it’s right to “need” people. when i first met her, i was instantly besotted. she stood by for months before she reciprocated any affections. initially, prefaring one of my work collegues. then after a month or so we’d been going out and id heard of another. two guys that i worked with! but fair enough, she didnt actually cheat (or so i believe). ive always tried saying to myself “i’m the one she’s with blah blah blah” but then i think “fuck her”! im just the soft twat at the end of a line who believed in a fantasy. i had built her up so much that i just had to come down to earth. and here iam. it’s not right! we shouldnt allow this. she is lovely, deep down but she doesnt deserve my commitment to her. ive given her a year. and im still hearing the same mistrustful and hurtful accusations. she may be off fucking some nobhead now as means of tackling her grief or to stick it to me. i dont know for sure but she is a woman after all. they know how to cover their tracks and sop it up with excuses instead of just admiting to having an itchy fanny. they always have their cake and eat it. then they get fat and no fucker wants them and its just a matter of timing which silly sod gets bolted down with someone elses bastard child. “surprise! you’re fucked!”


  33. I do realise that men can get some stick for sleeping around, but in no way is it comparable to the way women get insulted for doing the same thing, I think most people can agree on that.
    We all have needs so we should all be able to embrace them whenever we feel like doing so, both men & women alike. :twisted:

    But I do agree that there is inequality for men also like you said, so fair point raised.


  34. Argargaaaarg this is the most infuriating post I’ve ever read agh aaagh aaagh I just want to bite my own arm off just so I have a weapon to clobber you with gaaarrrr.


  35. she dates a bunch of men, in a short space of time. has sex with the ones who dont matter. keeps the good ones waiting. then, puts them through a filter and see’s who comes out the other end. a good man who will have been saving himself for her, while she was off fucking lesser men. she has made a fool of him before their time has even begun. can you blame him for resenting her? and now, he hates himself for caring. modern woman makes a fool of an honourable man. so, go ahead and be a “gentleman” while they tell you things like “all those other guys didnt mean anything”. let “her” do all the choosing. you’re male and any advantage you take where she’s concerned will condemn you to hell. and dont rush, whatever you do. get into her social circle. get to know all the guys in the “group” who’ve already had a go. hey, why not become one of them? and if your real nice to her, she might just let you be her boyfriend. well, after shes fucked a couple more guys just to be sure. not that your dumb ass is gonna know until she’s got you where she wants you and she’s told you that she loves you etc. go ahead. be a decent guy and pick up the shite and heartbreak that all the studs in town left you with. be a “man” and show her that we’re not all the same. she’ll love you soooooooooo much for it!!!! i’m sure she’ll let you do a couple of her mates for comparative reasons, won’t she? she has had yours, afterall!!!!! cram that up your arse “tim”!!!


  36. Just happened upon your site recently. I find many of your posts about how people think really well written and thought provoking, but this one I disagree with! I know this one is an old post, but I just had to comment on it.

    I wanted to roll my eyes at your defense of men’s promiscuity, and why women shouldn’t be – but it’s not for the reasons you might think.

    First off, women cheat just about as often as men do!… So men being hard wired to sleep around more just isn’t true. True that women have much more to lose for the reasons you listed, and true that there is a double standard. You mentioned polyandry, and a few other people already made comments on points I wanted to bring up, like how a woman might have slept with more than one man, but the “chump” ends up fooled into think it’s his, and raises it as such. Apparently the % (can’t think of the number I read) of fathers in the US who believe (unwittingly) they’re the father is higher than I would have expected!

    And there’s also a phenomenon where scientists discovered that males produce “killer sperm” that seek out and kill other men’s sperm (if unconsciously they have reason to believe their woman has been unfaithful).

    And lastly, the point about women could have lots of sex with one partner in 9 months and only produce one baby carries a huge assumption – that the man is capable of impregnating her. Not all men are as virile as they might like to think, judging by the fertility problems some married couples have.

    Enjoy your site and look forward to reading more, even if I don’t always agree.


  37. i think its just great how no one can argue a real valid point against mine. you can get angry with me but u cant say im wrong because u all know deep down that when a man tells the the real and whole truth from inside of him. women avoid him like the plague. women claim to want your honesty but they cant fucking handle it. my mates get laid by telling girls a bunch of horseshit about themselves. they string girls along with more horseshit. i cant believe how gullible women are!! a man uses his evil, manipulative side and that gets the girlies in the sack. a genuine guy gets the fucking leftovers!!! i cant even stomach a night out because i look at all the gold diggers and chav shaggers and i just wanna puke!! you all make me sick! i used to be nice but ive been ignored too fucking long in favour of louder, bigger personalities. you dont deserve decent guys because you persist to indulge the predators and leave the quiet guys in the corner. so, get what u deserve!! i hate u all! im getting what i deserve. a handshake with satan and a fucking “damien rice” cd.


  38. I am so sick of this evolutionary mating B.S. Cheating women , need sperm form the tall man (who would never settle down with just them to raise a child for his jaw is square and his semen potent) and money from the short one to rear the precious DNA of the larger ape. I am not a vessel for my DNA and my brain doesn’t exist to feed my stomach and move my penis from place to place. If you must serve your DNA then throw away your birth control and get knocked up as many times as you can as young as possible while you are most fertile. Teen pregnancy is therefore evolutionarily noble behavior, oh and so is rape.

    People make me sick with their shallow bullshit and they get what they deserve though the decent people suffer too having to live among them. Many women are too stupid to see they fall for bullshit and they would throw away a great marriage or relationship on a feeling or whim that’s fleeting meaningless and often contrived by some looser. Have to go with what you feel like doing , true to your feelings or urges (works for crack addicts who feel like buying crack instead of paying rent so it must be the right thing to do) Then they would dump a real man for some looser who manipulated their feeble narcissistic minds and they are surprised when a guy who was a piece of shit form the start tagged them , their sister , their friends, gave them herpes and sold nude videos of them on the internet. He was Mr. perfect though saying what ever you wanted to hear until he got in your pants and you lost your boyfriend or husband so you could be with him too. These women will sleep with any guy who has their ear , who ever is talking to them is the really special guy who cares and he changes their minds and feelings towards his cock. Good luck with that just let us real men know that your a dumb whore from the start so we don’t waste time caring about you to have some asshole pretending he dose steal you away beat you and toss you out the door.


  39. Hey Mr. T I know this is late but that girl is a trouble. She wants to have sex with that other guy and wants you to think she loves you too and only you then laughs at you with him. If you marry her she will take all your money and or toss you away at some seemingly randomly time crushing your soul without a second thought and only once you have lost the precious love of your life will you start to learn of the dozens of others whom you never suspected. She will say she was just a silly confused girl (bats eyelashes) and doesn’t know how i t happen and happened again. Later when have kids she won’t remember if she banged her boss or not, or some dude form the internet.

    Who remembers that stuff anyway with all the penises coming and going who can count ? hell sluts didn’t even know most their partners last names. I know it’s hard but women lie to husbands and boyfriends they will act like they love you and only you and will still spread their legs for ex boyfriends , co-workers random guys at parties (where they have drunken gang bangs) and near complete strangers. They will suck another mans cock after (after not before if your lucky) kissing you good night and telling you how much they love you with all their heart and soul. They suck cock because it’s a leap year, love you but have guys run trains on them at a party because it was a Saturday and all manner of bs. The truth is they are just sluts.

    We call these women sluts because they will cast aside anything and everything including their family and their own self respect and any mans health and well being just for some sex because they likes it , not because it’s unfair male oppression but because they like to screw so much they will do anything. Not just defy that evil male social stigma of not caring about people and things other than rampant sex with those you hardly know. I for one am happy to have men be called dirty sluts as well but this is not the issue is it ladies ?

    These outraged women are full of crap. Here is a clue for you ladies the only guys who consider being “a player” as a complement are other “players” themselves. They tend to flock together and compare notches where as sluts hide their activities (except from other sluts) until some nice faithful guys doctor is telling him he got 3 STDs from his little miss innocent soul mate. The only women who think the word slut is sexist are you guessed it sluts. They want to be proudly revered for being shallow sex addicts like the man sluts they call players. Women though lie marry , deplete financially and hollow out the soul of men and call it being independent and sexually entitled and liberated. Then some men go crazy and shoot them in the face and wind up on the news. Don’t do that! Dump the slut and call her a slut instead and move on to a non slut who won’t crew with your heart just to get more dick. It’s not their right to lie to you and screw who ever they want and holding it against them is not sexist.

    If slut is a bad word we’ll come up with another one ladies. How about shallow sex addicted man eater or shleeter is that more you sluts liking ? Funny how calling women out for treating men as ATMS , spermbanks and pieces of meat is wrong and sexist. How about this players and sluts can now have the gender neutral label “shit heads” you still can’t run around spreading herpes and screwing everything that moves, while treating human beings as playthings though without being looked down upon sorry.


  40. Also what some people call a player is actually what the rest of us call “a womanizer” and no one is saving mankind with their exploits is nice to think your just doing your part for the good of your species but really your just being a slut or a womanizer because you decided that’s what’s most important to you.


  41. because woman lie about it ,men are honest ,and because woman are sick by nature ,they dont even realize it ,thats how lost they are ,men screw around because they r real ,woman do it because they are sluts by nature ,in the next 5 years woman will have all rights taken away.


  42. anyway ,woman ,dogs ,same thing, since adam and eve, thats why woman will be decipled soon they just dont know it yet ,wait they do notice ,cant you see how ugly most woman are nowadays. They think wearing a skirt makes them hot .


  43. This is one of the most sexist things I have ever read! It’s ridiculous.


  44. joe 3 put it perfectly. thankyou! all this venting is great! i think ive managed to function better, finally. just felt compelled to write something positive, here.


  45. Your first point is circular reasoning. You say men have to try harder to have many partners, so if they succeed they are not sluts, while women are. But the reason they have to try harder to have many partners is that women are called sluts when they try to get with a lot of men, so naturally, they try to sleep with fewer men.

    The second point is weak for two reasons. From the point of view of society, it might be beneficial for a weaker, older father to raise the child of a younger, healthier man, because the child will probably be stronger and have fewer birth defects. So, from the societal point of view, women who are promiscuous might benefit society by being so. Secondly, birth control, like you said, solves the problem of parenting. Just because tradition can’t catch up, it does not mean that it makes sense to call women sluts, and men players.

    The last point is weak for biological reasons. A woman might need to sleep with a lot of men as well, to get the strongest, healthiest sperm possible, so that her children will also have healthy sperm, and be more likely to have other children when they grow up.
    Furthermore, no evolutionary reason can give men the right to sleep with many people, because we do not think of the larger societal or biological functions when they decide who to sleep with; we just act from instinct, and if instinct tells women to sleep with a lot of people, then “evolutionary advantage” cannot serve as an argument against it.


  46. also, jasmine:
    it’s true that promiscuity is different for men than it is for women, and there is no reason for this to be true. However, you say that since promiscuity is ok for men, it should also be ok for women. When, in fact, you could just as well take the opposite position: since promiscuity is not ok for women, it should not be ok for men either. From the premise you give (“it is illogical to treat the genders differently”) you can defend either of these two conclusions.

    To choose one conclusion in favour of the other, you need to examine the differences between promiscuity as an act: is it good, or is it bad? Should everybody be promiscuous, or should nobody be promiscuous? If you think women should be as promiscuous as men, it means you think promiscuity is good. Why?

    Answer that question, and perhaps you can then convincingly make the claim that women should be as promiscuous as men, rather than the opposite claim, that men should be as chaste as women.


  47. it seems that our relationships with each other as human beings are becoming less marginalised. the more our ideas about relationships and sex expand. the more confused and alienated alot of us seem to feel.

    speaking for myself. having come out of a long term relationship about 6 months ago. ive had a couple of one night stands, since. and i feel that what’s important to me, party to intercourse itself. is to feel a certain closeness to the person. even if just momentarily. when you have those experiences with people, that are bittersweet. like you had your time with them. a short romance, or whatever. it’s there and then it’s gone and you’re left wondering what could have been etc.

    you can meet somebody and sleep with them, on impulse. it doesn’t have to be cheap or dirty. it can still be beautiful. if the basic attraction is genuine. and you’ve shared good conversation and laughed together. in all honesty though. i rush into sex because i believe that attractive women have the power of selection and i’m uncomfortable with the idea of being “matched” against other possible suiters. i’m sorry, but i always feel like the lady holds the dice.in short term encounters. i dont feel like im competing with the whole “male” world. im not “competing” with the ex boyfriend who still has a hold on her, somehow. im not “competing” with the richer guy, the more well dressed guy, the more handsome guy, the tougher or the harder guy. i mean, if i meet sombody that i really like. then theres no question. theres no comparisons. i just go for them and i dont “play” them.

    ok, so to be fair. just because a woman has options, it doesnt make her a “slut”. if society could be done with that stigma. then maybe we could also do away with the “guilt” stigma thrown at a man because he just wanted sex and not alot more. he’s not a discusting pig. he’s just figuring out his place and needs a woman to touch him now and then. its natural. but god forbid, we admit that in the throes of passion


  48. women are picky. men arent. mystery solved


  49. Whatever. You can’t pay me to believe that women want to share their man in any world.
    Even if they prefer the wealthier man to provide, his money is divided up amongst 10 women, so how is that desirable? And, on top of that, I don’t even get my man on the days I want him? That’s bs.
    .-= The Sphinx´s last blog ..Venus vs. Mars: Love & Commitment – Part 1 =-.


  50. This article is great. I’m glad someone finally put this issue into a realistic context.
    It’s also very entertaining, if only for the controversy it brings with it. All the nasty cum dumpsters commenting and telling you you’re a “retard” and how this article is the biggest lie they’ve ever read (most of these women don’t seem to have even read the article, they just jump in and start randomly defending their disgustingly loose vaginas).. It is sadly predictable, yet still endlessly amusing. The first comment was the best one I read, just cuz if u click her name, u see that her blog is yesiamaslut.blogspot.com. Now THAT is rich. One of those unnatractive turbo whores who thinks she’s some pagan druid thing, uses the same few big words over and over to try and sound smart, and has no purpose other than spreading STDs and having abortions… you must be so proud.
    Of course some gals are gonna find this offensive. That’s what happens when you explain to a slut why them exercising no self control and being reckless cooze is unhealthy for them and for society.

    And to “fella” your post is 100% true as well as funny at the end, keep your head up.

    To “jasmin” who said “We all have needs so we should all be able to embrace them whenever we feel like doing so” Does this mean that, as men, we should have sex with a woman whenever we’re horny, even when she doesn’t want it? I doubt this is what you meant, but another double-standard pops up here. Men should exercise this self control, regardless of how many chemicals in his body are telling him to do otherwise. But a woman doesn’t need to exercise the self-control not to fuck everything under the sun. (This is another point that all the defenders of slut-ism are totally ignoring)

    I wish I could sit here and go thru every idiotic comment about how it actually is okay to be a whore and double standards are all that mess, and basically every idiot who’s trying to refute the facts pointed out in this article; I wish I could explain to each one how utterly stupid and endlessly ignorant the “points” they made are, but what do you say to a 3-year-old who just keeps saying “No! Two plus two is Five!”? I mean if they’re not smart enough to understand the article, then they’ll probably never fully understand the points it makes.
    Anyway thanks for writing the article, you enunciated what many couldn’t put into words this well, and/or what many are afraid to say.


  51. I don’t agree or disagree with your post, but if your going to post something,you should rely on real facts and not some chauvinist twisted and well plain ignorant view. But then again what the hell do i know after all ignorance is bliss!!! or so they say….


  52. “you should rely on real facts” Camille, here’s some steps that’ll help you look like less of a babbling, uninformed jizz mop.

    1. Read article.
    2. Comment on it.

    …you’ll notice that facts, almost exclusively, are cited in the article, you sputtering horse’s ass.


  53. Great American Double Standard!


  54. The only part of this post I am going to address is the evolutionary benefit because that is the only real argument in my opinion, the rest are simply drummed up by the male ego of the writer and those opinions are not valid arguments. As far as an evolutionary advantage towards men having sex with anything, this is true in theory, but the same theory is also applied to women in an evolutionary sense. It is said that women will sleep around and continue to sleep around in an effort to find the absolute best sperm for offspring. Being that a woman will never actually find the best one, it is clear that she will continue searching and building partners. Secondly on this point, it is important to know that sex in the evolutionary sense is not just about having a lot of kids, its a bout having a lot of kids that will SURVIVE and be productive (this is called evolutionary fitness). Thus the 9 month advantage that many men claim they have over women in an evolutionary sense is all but balanced out. Because if he impregnates that woman and then just leaves her to fend for it herself, the chances of that child surviving healthily drop DRAMATICALLY. Thus it is in his benefit to stay around and ensure his one seed’s safety for some time before hopping off to the next one.

    Now on a general note, I think that women also need to admit that they play a part in their own oppression/double standard. We need to stop calling women who we know sleep around “sluts” and “hoes” to try to impress guys into believing we’re different and just let those women be. An even better point of action to take though, is to make the same comments towards guys that you know sleep around. As a matter of fact, make it a point to ridicule men who sleep around the same way you know they would ridicule you if you did. You are only helping the double standard if you don’t. And men, please realize that despite this double standard going in your favor, the majority of the good virginal women whom most of you want for long term partners and wives are not attracted to men who sleep around. So in fact, if you are planning on getting a good girl to marry, please be aware that the standards you apply to women you must also apply to yourself if you want to increase your chances of landing one. Otherwise, you will get to sleep around as much as you want without suffering the social ridicule women do (not as much anyway) but in the end you are 9/10 going to end up choosing from a pool of women who slept around the same as you. ;)


  55. “even better point of action to take though, is to make the same comments towards guys that you know sleep around. As a matter of fact, make it a point to ridicule men who sleep around the same way you know they would ridicule you if you did”

    Go right ahead. No guy is going to have a problem with people knowing that he can get laid easily/that women readily have sex with hm.

    In my experience, women generally call each other sluts. Guys don’t think like that. The thing I can’t figure out is when girls call themselves sluts. Maybe it’s just a way to say your hot….


  56. Sort of related to the slut subject.. I don’t have a problem with prostitutes. I don’t have a problem with women who like sex and have it with multiple guys. I don’t like chicks like this though:
    http://roissy.wordpress.com/20.....luttiness/

    Basically this ho had sex with Tucker Max because he was famous and she wanted to tell everyone she had. Even though she considers him an asshole and she faked an orgasm with him to get the experience over with.

    If I was her next boyfriend and I heard about this she’d be dumped. It wouldn’t bother me that she’d had random drunk sex or whatever, the fact that she wrote an internet article about it and that she did it cause the dude was explicity a famous asshole (to her), that would piss me off. Not entirely sure why. Guess I don’t like name droppers.


  57. He doesn’t touch upon why women are more of a challenge to get into bed. Its not because they want sex less, its because they have been brought up to say no. If men were brought up to say no they would also be more repressed. It’s really the fault of men that women are harder to get into bed because when they get them into bed easily they slag them off, so women are put off having easy sex. If men were not so hypocritical, they would be having more sex! And women would be happier not having to think about their god damn reputation!


  58. I disagree with this completely. The person above me has a similar opinion, its the way women are brought up. We live in a christian society which unfortunately scorns upon premarital sex. Its worse for women because if they do happen to get pregnant, they might have to get an abortion, which is a sin right?

    The truth is, we all want to enjoy sex. So how about instead of giving yourself an excuse to put down women, why dont u just wear a condom and stop being a douche bag?


  59. ‘roberta’ has made a fair point there. But i do think that there’s a big misconception about mens sex lives, here. most of us can easily go an entire year or more (or even furthermore)without sex. it may be a choice we make. but often, its very difficult to encourage women to feel sexual about you. a guy can posess all kinds of attributes she finds admirable or even mesmerising about him. he could possess everything she could want and yet she still might not feel sexual about him. or she may just not feel like it tonight. still, you cant shake the feeling that the honus is on the man and you just aint cutting it for her. which is probably true.

    its not unusual to hear women complain about the general attitude most men have towards sex and how we objectify women etc. but on the flipside, i know alot of women who herd male admirers around like cattle. men of diffent statures. they “date” kind men whilst often simultaneously having explosive sex with the more macho types. this is apparently becoming the predominant behaviour style of women today. if she chooses the kind man in the end (and lets be clear that women are the ones who REALLY choose). then he’ll be sure to hear those heartbreaking stories of who she spent the cold nights with while he was patient and respectful, waiting for her. only by himself. so now you may ask. why should it bother him? he got to keep her in the end.

    my answer to that question. a man wants to establish a connection early on. that doesnt necessarily mean jumping into bed. but a connection, nontheless that she is SURE of. she should be insightful enough to see that this man is amazing. if she left the bar to go jump some other guy then she aint good enough, mate. plain and simple. and a man should read the signs and know this. yes, its down to ego. but the ego should be respected. because sometimes, its all we have keeping us going. so i’ll put it this way. if she doesnt wanna fuck you straight away BUT GOES AND FUCKS SOMEONE ELSE. then no matter how well the connection. you might aswel forget about her. because no matter how much you could grow to love her. you know deep down, a part of you will always resent it. and she will sniff that out and it will piss you off everyday and it will never leave you as long as you’re with her. sad but true.

    ladies, how hurt do you feel when when your man forgets your anniversary or even your birthday? men dont hurt so badly over such things. a man simply needs to feel like a man. again, sad but true. because our manhood comes into question in every second of every day, in every other aspect of our lives. how much we earn? how we deal with confrontation? how big or strong we are etc. regardless of our “forward thinking”. men will always define WHAT they are within these parameters. hell, most women WANT us to think this way so they can feel “secure” with us. there’s no escape. but we need a woman to provide the “illusion” of escape. just like women expect the “illusion” of romance. we keep our relationships alive with these “illusions” instead of truly being worthy of one another.

    to be worthy of another person is to not treat people like toilets. a person should make a commitment to themselves. either you’re waiting for the “one” or you’re sleeping around. simple. there’s nothing wrong with either. but be honest from the beginning. from the first date. if you have a dirty dick or an itchy pussy then you’re not worthy of anybodys devotion. and its completley fucking selfish to think otherwise. if theres no time between sex partners, how can you be ready for anything? how? you cant. and you know it.


  60. To ironic_isntit who rather bizarrely posted this:

    “To “jasmin” who said “We all have needs so we should all be able to embrace them whenever we feel like doing so” Does this mean that, as men, we should have sex with a woman whenever we’re horny, even when she doesn’t want it? I doubt this is what you meant, but another double-standard pops up here. Men should exercise this self control, regardless of how many chemicals in his body are telling him to do otherwise. But a woman doesn’t need to exercise the self-control not to fuck everything under the sun. (This is another point that all the defenders of slut-ism are totally ignoring)”.

    You have completely missed the point here. Just because some women have said that they feel they should be free to embrace her sexual needs, does not mean that those women would actually rape anyone, even if they were strong enough!!! The women were talking about embracing their sexual needs with willing partners! What you are saying is that if men are to embrace their needs this could mean forcing a woman? But this does not relate to Jasmine’s argument at all. Of course nobody has the right to act on a sexual need if it means forcing someone else! What many people have been trying to say is that no one should be judged for embracing a sexual needs as long as its legal and both partners are willing. This article does not relate to the self control you are talking about, the kind needed in order not to commit a crime, but the self control where as a woman, society wants you to deny sex for risk of been labelled a slut. i.e for a woman to say no to her instincts even though she would actually really like to have sex. Funny how men are allowed to use ‘instinct’ as an excuse, and yet women have to deny their instinct, even though it would be natural to follow their instinct. Women all round the world have fancied many different men. If nature or evolution didn’t want women to find a number of different men attractive, nature would have made women differently. If we are going to base everything on evolution, then to be a ‘slut’ is surely favourable for a woman, in that a woman as far as getting pregnant is concerned, should not put all her eggs in one basket, as it were! Self control would be a hindrance, lessening her chances of becoming pregnant, as the quality of sperm is different in every man, as many people have already pointed out.

    The people who quite rightly think a woman should be able to embrace her sexual needs without judgment simply meant that they should be able to sleep with willing partners!!! How ironic that your comment is the most illogical one that has been posted, and yet you have insulted people for their comments.


  61. Recent studies looked into a ‘harem’ in a chimp family, where scientists used to assume it was beneficial for the male and the females to have one male, and yet they have now found that a larger percentage of the offspring in the harem, were fathered by different fathers, with the main male still looking after them. Obviously we have no way of knowing if the alpha male knew they were not his offspring, but he provided for them. Now the fathers of the other offspring had not forced themselves on the females, in fact after further investigation, it was found that the females knowingly went looking for other males. Sounds a bit like something from the Jeremy Kyle show. Of course, we have to be wary of comparing humans to others species, but they are our closest living relatives and have been studied for evolutionary reasons to make comparisons with us.

    If we are to believe in evolution , and in particular the above mentioned case, then surely this is evidence that females are ‘sluts’ by their very nature. Wrong or right, they wanted to mate with other males, frequently.

    I’m not in favour of promoting promiscuity, but i see no reason to judge anyone who is promiscuous if they don’t hurt anyone and practice safe sex. If we are going to use science and evolution as a basis for our arguments, then we need to see nature as it really is. The flipside of that argument is why should we have to use evolution to excuse anything in society. Evolution is not pretty, but if we are to embrace it in its entirety, that it is dangerous, because in evolution people seem to be able to argue anything, whether it is men allowed to be sluts, or rape, war, racism etc.

    The thing is, evolution is a constantly changing thing, which is perhaps why society is changing.

    On a more personal note, in relation to what some have already written, I have always found it strange that people argue in favour of women been labelled sluts if they sleep around, their reason being because it’s less of a challenge for women to get sex and more of a challenge for men to get it. Well, These people have no idea how hard it is to make the decision to say no, when you feel really attracted to a man. Ofcourse, if one or both is attached then personally I would find it easy to say no, but what if you are both single and the situation is safe, why should a woman say no? If a woman’s instinct is telling her to say yes, it is the hardest thing to say no, believe me. I’m not talking about the kind of self restraint that someone bizarrely posted about, where they said something about if women should not use self restraint, then why can’t a man take a woman when he wants. I’m talking about the needless self restraint used by a man or a woman, when both adults are willing. Many women feel this. Men who feel need of self restraint this tend to be part of a religion.

    Many men ( and women) like to use the argument outlined in the above article, but what I don’t understand is why some men seem to accuse women of not liking the truth about how men are ‘hard-wired’ to be a certain way and that some women can’t handle the truth. These women will be labelled man haters among other insults, and yet when a woman tells the world about how she is also ‘hard-wired’ to act on her needs, she is at best disregarded at worst abused.

    Some men will use the argument in the above article to excuse their behaviour, and yet when a woman is a gold -digger she is not excused by society, and yet evolution can be used to support her in her actions. And yet women are actively encouraged to find a rich man to ‘look after ‘her, but get slated for it when they do. Sure use evolution if you want, but if we are to use it an excuse for how we act, then the excuse of evolution is surely open to everyone.

    I am a women, I was born me, and the ‘hard-wiring’ in me makes me want to be a certain way. I too as a woman feel an evolutionary need in me, but the society I happen to live in tells me to basically follow the rules of that society, not my nature. And yet this article is basically saying men are they way they are, they cannot help it, well I too am also the way I am, but somehow I am expected to help it.


  62. yes. all of these evolutionary pros and cons hold water, definately. there’s the species, the human being of both sexes. (the instinctual “being” of either). then theres the person. the “person” being the attributes of individuality. opinions, beliefs, humour, empathy.

    to maintain an idea of fairness to one another. its important to understand our species. but RESPECT the individual. if we saw ourselves as only a species. then nothing would really matter. not love or friendship or family, art, music. so we’re just screwing to maintain our discusting, world raping existence. thats pretty bleak, dont you think?

    im comfortable with the idea of becoming compost when my time’s through. but while im here, it’d be nice to believe that i matter because of what i give to life and people around me. giving inspires love. love is borne through respect and respect is borne through HONESTY. and thats the key!!!! the point everyone seems to miss. HONESTY!!!! do what you want but be honest! the consequences of honesty can never be as dire as constant manipulations and lies. so, if you like alot of sex with alot of people. then just admit it. people will judge you. we’re all judged for something. is that to say that we should run in fear of it? i believe a truthful person is noble. and i wouldnt judge harshly a promiscuous girl if she were truthful about it.

    this is the consistent problem in society that concerns all of our relationships. people hiding behind their own bullshit. cowards making fools of better people.

    heres some truth.a bit of a wanker. ive used girls and ive been used by girls. im cynical and want to believe in real love but have never experienced it. ive slept around in the past. i regret it and i dont regret it at the same time. i dont want to be someones doormat. i hate the human “species” but fight for individuality everyday. i’ll get on a fucking podium and sing my truths to the world if i have to.

    not perfect but honest and objective as possible. its a fucking start!!!


  63. Women have earned the right to vote , and they now have the same jobs as men , instead of staying home with kids . So why can’t they have a sex-life like men do? We’re working on a completely equal society here people ,
    but if guys will still consider women “Sluts” when they sleep around , or say that it’s easier for women to get guys , and that’s why they shouldn’t be congratulated , but disrespected, and chided, then neither gender will be equal. women are supposed to be the ones that cry , and wait for the right guy, that their father approves of, right? Wrong, if guys want to stop being considered “pigs” when they have multiple sez partners, then they need to stop considering women sluts when they also have multiple sex partners.. Also, if guys didn’t call girls easy, or slutty when they sleep with men they’re not with, then the guys would get sex a lot easier. But alot of women feel the need to self-restrain so that they won’t be called those names. Everything should be equal for both genders. and therefor, referring to a previous post, guys should be able to cry and show their emotions, (which more and more guys are doing actually) and be able to sleep around without being called pigs. But you’re not going to get that, until you start treating women with respect, no matter about their sex life. It’s as simple as that


  64. “Also, if guys didn’t call girls easy, or slutty when they sleep with men they’re not with, then the guys would get sex a lot easier. But alot of women feel the need to self-restrain so that they won’t be called those names.”

    I agree. However, we seem to have different experiences. I don’t know any guys who call women sluts. I’ve known plenty of women who call other women, and sometimes themselves, sluts.

    That said, I have hooked up with women where I was worried she was looking for something more than a good time/hook up situation.

    The situation, again, in my experience, is that if you want a hook up you have to play a little game. Going up to a chick in the bar you think is hot and saying ‘Do you want to come by my place tonight and have sex? I’ll make it worth your while’ – this gets you nowhere. So you call. Make dates. Hang out some. Get laid. Most likely that’s it and you dont call again. Not because she’s a slut, cause you only wanted to have sex.

    Here’s my solution – empowered women should go up to guys they want to have sex with, tell them so, then do it. Win/Win. That should be the paradigm. From what I can tell this might happen if your Brad Pitt, it isn’t the usual. Usually the guy has to do the asking.Risk getting rejected. Is should be the other way around. Guys are much less likely to reject an offer of sex. In my experience.

    Anyway,if women wanted sex the way guys want/need sex, nothing people could call them would stop them from getting it. Guys rib each other all the time, talk trash about their hookups. It doesnt’ stop anyone.


  65. BTW, if a chick is hot, like the chicks on the hills, they’ll get whatever they want, no matter who calls them sluts. The slut thing is a bit of jealousy over the market power cute, young, active girls have. As far as I can tell anyway. It’s like seeing someone driving a Porshe when you got a Chevette. “Aw that guy is a superficial douche. He’s a poser’. Etc. It’s alot more of that than anything deliberately passed down by the patriarchy or whatever they claim in Feminist Studies or whatever…..


  66. There is another dynamic in this slut thing. I’ve known chicks who brag about the guys they’ve hooked up with, to the next dude they’re with, like the guy they are with now should be happy to hear his woman had sex with George Clooney.

    With women, they seem to like it when the guy is a player. Look at Timberlake. The ladies want to hook up with him cause he’s known to hook up with hot chicks. Like they get points for that.

    Guys just don’t want to think about the dude she was with before. The guy think’s ‘Hey, if he’s so awesome, you should’ve stuck with him. I resent having to compete with some fantasy person you loved before me. But, I’m still getting laid so I’ll put up with alot.’

    Getting called out for bragging like this is not the same thing as being dissed for being a slut.

    Again, just my experience. Women are the one more likely to brag about there conquests. Guys generally don’t. At least not to women.


  67. amen, del taco! haha! we have to put up with them to get laid 9 out 10 times (or more!). but the ladies don’t have to put up with us. they can just “do” you. be done with you and have another guy the next day. alot of guys would consider them fortunate for being used in such a way. women can even make themselves out as victims in the process and probably improve their chances of finding a kind hearted man, who wants to be good to them. by shedding tears and saying that no one ever treated them nice. when in truth, they probably brought it on themselves. they can blame us for everything and say its because of “patriachy”. they can be openly “feminist” and chastise men because of their own laziness. claiming to want big changes. but still wanting flowers. they can lie, manipulate, cheat, even steal from us. then play the “victim” card. women have the advantages in life that they claim, they need. most of them just use them the wrong way.

    the way we’re all going. it’s nobody really deserves anybody


  68. Just want to say that though it is much easier for a woman to find a sexual partner, it’s a lot harder for her to be sexually satisfied.

    So, men take note of this: all that time and effort you take trying to sleep with large quantities of women, perhaps you should work on the quality you provide.


  69. Point taken Audrey.

    Another approach would be for women to sleep around with men til they find the one that gets them off the way they particularly like. Or they could just tell the first dude what they need.


  70. It’s not so much that men aren’t sluts or shouldn’t be called sluts. In general all men are sluts, there is no need to state such obvious things. Not all women are sluts. therefor we specify between said female sluts and non sluts.

    ~how to avoid being called a slut~

    1. Don’t sleeping around.
    2. Don’t dress provocatively (there is no reason to other than attract dicks.)
    3. Don’t openly flirt (simple flirting doesn’t mean anything but you’ll still be called a slut for it.)

    -this all comes down to, You cannot spot a slut in a group of men before being introduced to them. (obviously they’re all sluts anyway but for arguments sake lets say they’re not.) However with a fair amount of accuracy you can spot the slut in a group of women before being introduced to them.

    Alas if you’ve been called a slut it was probably for a reason. if your complaining about being called a slut…try not being a slut. if you’ve never been called a slut and your complaining about women in general being called sluts…you are just as shallow and simple as sluts. if your feeling emotions for a word not directed at you may have guilty feelings, words mean nothing unless implemented in the right way at the right time. So let me implement a few words…

    Be a slut if you wish, but don’t bitch about being called one.


  71. thats fukd up. why should we pay for ur shit. i mean when we sleep wif yous, yous go around and spred rumours thats where it comes from. We could sleep with 1 guy, and we could possibly love him. but if goes around to his loud mouth friends and says, hey guys i got in her pants they start calling her a slut. i think its very wrong indeed. For the guys who spred rumours, hear me out.. i had a best friend who was with a guy for a year. they were both in year 10 and she finally gave up her virginity at her besties partie. a week later rumours were going around, only her and him knew about it, noone else. thats what she thought, he told all of his friends he finally got laid. She came to me crying, telling me everyones calling her a slut and a whore. a few people were txting her threats telling her we dont need sluts in the world. At skool kids were spitting on her. And bcoz i stuck up for her i started getting called a slut. apparantly feather of the flock fly together! i was a virgin at the time, im now 18. me and my friend use to get bashed at skool nearly every day. i still stuck up for her though. Not even a year passed, my friend was going through heavy deppression, cutting herself, taking drugs and alchol, fighting with her parents etc! she use to be the happiest girl in my skool. No matter what we did the teacher just sent the kids that did it to us home, but they were back after a few days. My Best friend, Emma killed herself! all bcoz she slept with one guy?? doesnt that seem ridiculous?? she was not a slut, she thought she loved him. She got sucked in. he used her, so he could tell all of his friends about it. why do people have to judge ppl like that. if a girl wants to have sex and she ejoys it just like everyother human being, she should not be judged. After emma died, i suffered worse depression, people backed off a bit bcoz they knew what they had led emma to do. i knew they felt bad. my mother had to put me into rehab where i was watched 24 7 bcoz i tried to kill myself 3 times. it stuffed my skooling up. do u see how this can effect ppl, girls esspecially. im now slowly coping now. i find it hard to sleep, i usually wake up from bad nightmares about killing myself, and emma aswell. im on a high depressent pill which helps me cope day to day. but ive never forgotten emma, and the bad experience of rumours


  72. The fact of the matter is that men do NOT respect women who have sex before marriage.

    A woman who has any form of sex is considered a slut in a mans mind. Will he sleep with her if she is willing? Most men will. But they wont respect her.

    Think about this. How many time do you hear a woman say that everything was going so well and then she slept with her boyfriend and now he wont call her back?

    OR

    I cant get my boyfriend to marry me! Why?!?! because if you are having sex with your boyfriend then he has no reason to marry you. He is free sex with no or little obligation.

    If a woman wants a man to committ then she needs to say no to sex before marriage.

    No man wants to marry a slut.

    plain and simple.


  73. I don’t want to jump to conclusion (wait, who am I kidding? I do!)but Osbro and Zdewt sound like an insecure Muslim or a strict Catholic.

    I think Roberta made good arguments. Nowdays we have birth control and traditional roles have been challenged (and not all of them are to the disadvantage of men). The question is why do you call and slug women who sleeps around as ‘sluts’? Especially when you men (tho not all) doing the same. It’s pretty stupid cos if you say “men are hard-wired to sleep around” then they should *encourage* women to sleep around and act like…well, sluts. This will increase their chance to sleep around and be called sluts, i mean studs. Ahem, a minor slip of the tongue. Excuse me.

    See?

    Women who call other women sluts are often influence by men like their fathers or brothers who tell them that they should not sleep around or act like “sluts”. For the record, I don’t buy this bs and I don’t call other women sluts. Yes, I will admit that there are some stupid, holier than thou women who talk bad about other women just coz they’re lame but most who do are often ‘brainwashed’.

    And for the lame-arse who said only women who sleeps around don’t like to be called slut.. I have news for ya, I’m a virgin waiting for a monogamous virgin guy to marry. I have been called a slut after been seen holding hands and coming out of my ex-bf car by GUYS (well, I live in a town not a city). Maybe they just assume that I slept with him or maybe they’re jealous cos they don’t have a gf, i don’t know but it’s not fair so i flipped them the birdie :D. Frankly speaking, I think we should cease this double standard that slutty(hey, you don’t care right?), insecure males try to apply to females just to protect their fragile ego then disguise it as to protect paternity or evolution-shit or whatever.

    Btw, I was not dissing males who sleep around (it’s your choice and I don’t care as long as you do it with another consensual adult), just the hypocritical ones.


  74. I’m with you Ashe. A lot of people are jealous of hot women. Especially if they aren’t getting any or are ugly women, or self righteous.


  75. theres an awful truth about alot of guys only staying with their girlfriends for the guarantee of regular sex. and therein is a theory on commitment. women commit easier, when they know they’ve got a good man. but its hard for a man to shake the idea of chasing skirt. and the main reason is because for many guys, its an idea and not a reality. i know guys in their twenties whove never had girlfriends and had sex maybe once of twice in their whole lives. not ugly looking guys. not unintelligent guys. just guys who arent being loud enough, obviously. women may feel inclined, sometimes justifiably. to complain about guys not respecting them. but no matter what they argue. they will never appeciate what a guy goes through, just to feel like a man. you cant feel like a man when cant feel confident to approach a woman. and we have to learn how to do that through trial, error and an awful lot of heartache and self doubt. especially when some women think its perfectly fine to look at you like a piece of shit for even trying. as if, you owe them an apology for giving them the attention that they want.

    ladies, if you want guys to stop trying too hard. then you may want to get over some of your own fears. be a little more aproachable and respectful. thats right “Respectful”. men need your repect too, believe it or not. many of you girls dont even see how little YOU respect US. dont just shove past to get to the bar because you think you’re sex somehow gives you priority. dont always assume that we want to club you over the head and drag you to a cave. yes, we’re just as intrested in sex as you are. we’re sexual beings like you. so, why are we the only ones apologising? everybody wants the oppposite sex to WANT them. no matter what kind of crap people come out with. in the climate of this day and age, with suggestions of sex all over the tv, radio, internet and everywhere you go. you have to just go get it out of your system. nearly all single women get the choice of as many men as they want or ONE good man, if she can open her eyes and see him. the problem alot of guys have is that WE dont have that choice, unless we work damn hard in more aspects of our lives than any woman could ever know. MEN want to fuck. WOMEN want to fuck.

    ask any single girl about her sex life and you can probably assume its more exiting than a single man’s. dont believe me? then do a fucking survey. ask, are you single? when did you last have sex? was it good? how many sex parters have you had in the last 6 months? etc. alot of the men would probably lie because its depressing how much we fail with women haha! the women would probably lie because they think that they should be ashamed.

    men are begining to change the way we think of women. quite often, its just that women wont give us the time of day to show it. not until you’ve made her feel “special”. trust me, girls. a guy never gets to feel “special”. he just gets to feel like the guy who got to you before the next guy did. thats why we find it so hard to really care


  76. The article in so many words says men are rewarded when they get a lot of women for sex simply because it’s very difficult for them to get this compared to women getting a lot of men. If they’re rewarded for that, also reward all others who cope well with or achieve difficult things. How about the disadvantaged? They have very difficult LIVES, not just difficulty with one aspect of life. The poor and disabled generaly achieve a lot considering what they have to work with.


  77. This is bull shit. Some random ass excuses for guys to sleep around. Grow some balls guys and just admit your sluts and scum who sleep around. Next time you call a girl a slut, think about how many girls you have fucked.

    Guys, grow a dick and quit making up excuses.


  78. guys try to sleep around and are mostly unsucessful. you dont get to go to bed with every girl you chat up. sometimes you can spend all night getting phone numbers and not one of them will actually reply to your txt. we resent you women, because u spend ur average weekends getting off with whoever the hell u like. a different guy (or guys) every time u go out. and we wouldnt even give a shit if you didnt make it such a fucking chore for us to do the same. you only fuck guys who impress you with tall tales about bullshit. i know, because i used to do it! and now that i want someone to like me for just being myself. i have to hold my dick down everywhere i go. sure, i know girls who mite go out with me on a nice sunny day. but why should i be hanging around being “nice” andf “relating” to them. just so they can tell me about the 20 guys they’ve fucked this month. while im holding my dick in my fucking hand! i dont care about what you call a person who sleeps around. i juyst want to know why a guy’s got to be carved out of iron to get a lousy shag, when all a woman has to do is decide whether to show up or not.

    then time passes. you find a girl. and then u think. is this it? nearly a year without a fuck. just to get some bitch who has audacity NOT TO TRUST ME! excuse me, but which of the sexes is getting more action here? and then they have the arrogance to think a guy should just hang around and be a gentleman. so, you can confide in him about all those guys getting lucky with you. so, you can take your sick pleasure and rub his face in it. “oh, but thats cos she respects you” what a pile of fucking shit!!!!

    women just want to not be judged for doing what most of us guys dont get to do. or at least, not for most of our lives. guess what girls. YOU DO HAVE THE ADVANTAGE. so, do what the fuck you want. just dont be surprised if guys just want to use you for an orifice. you want to be able to fuck around and still capture a mans heart when it suits you and only you! you want us all queueing up “respecting” you. so, you can cherry pick us at your leisure.

    the only reason you can love your man is because you’ve tried every other dick in town. you’ve exausted youreslf around all the clubs and then decided that you wanted a “nice” man. someone who feels lucky to have you because ur so good to him, letting him have sex and all. oh, isnt he priviledged! that you “allowed” him your “mind” as well as your body. oh what a lucky guy. wow, he really should just forget everything he ever dreampt about and “commit” to you right now or he’ll just have to take the bus back to “nopussyville”.

    go on girls! GIRLPOWER! WOOHOO! go take over the whole fucking show. we wont dare complain for fear of being called “sexist”. go erode your fucking vaginas! it may be better for us all. LEGALISE BROTHELS!


  79. I wouldn’t want to fuck everything that came my way. There is lack of values and a whole shitload of peer pressure to have meaningless sex with bimbos who “put out”.Women are so screwed up and superficial nowadays it makes me sick. Let the alpha males and rich suckers have their their way with high maintence women.Stupid articles like these really show how superficial our society has become. Sex this, money that, less people going to church, women want the perfect line of bullshit so they do this or do that. What the fuck ever man. Bars are the worst because most women in those places are used and abused.


  80. I couldnt read all of the responses to this article but I am very happy that it is turning up the debate.

    My two bits:

    While males who sleep with many partners are often called “studs” they eventually morph into “commitment phobe losers”. What makes you cool in your early 20s makes you a loser in your 30s, and you feel it first hand when you witness all of your friends married with kids enjoying life and you are all alone in your singlehood.

    In your 30s, as a man, it’s easier to find prospective mates than it is to find flies in a pile of dung. The women are sex machines, rampant to screw anything they can if they are single. Unfortunately, they are single for a reason: they could not prove themselves to be an adequate wife, either by their own choice or by choice of their previous respective mates.

    I am truly appalled at the state of women these days. Whereas a man would be chastised by his fellow males, family, and other woemn for “cheating” on a good woman in a monogamous relationship, and is taught by his mother and father that what he really wants to do is settle down and find a good solid woman and raise a family, women in this post-feministic society are learning truly the oppoiste.

    Where a man would hear from his best friend, “You jerk, if you do that again to Jennifer I am going to tell her. Smarten up.” (NO JOKE this DOES happen chickies); women are hearing from their friends, “Oh, well at least you did something for YOU for a change. I wont tell anyone. I cheated on my husband too and it was wonderful. Its the man’s fault anyway for not pleasing you”.

    I myself have been cheated on by virtually every woman I’ve been with in the past 12 years. Its not that I’m sexually inadequate, I get a woman off an average of 6 times per sexual session and I usually last about 45 minutes of straight intercourse. I can cook, clean, take charge and protect my woman, in a way I actually have my own army ( I run a large paramilitary organization ). I am smart and have excellent income earning potential, I am kind and treat my women like princesses. So why do the women cheat?

    The answer to that question, as I have done a lot of learning and research as I am trying to find my one true monogamous mate, is the post-feministic teachings of today’s society. Women are taught both through our laws and through family upbringing in female mentorship that the world is their oyster and that men are irrelevant fools who merely need to be used and put in their place.

    Look at childbirth: It is in all cases, the woman’s decision, and her decision alone, whether to carry to term, adopt, or abort the pregnancy. The man is screwed any way. If he wants to keep the child, even raise it alone, she can put an end to that. If he is not ready to raise a child financially or emotionally, she can slam him on the hook for support regardless of his wishes and he will be paying for 20 years. He can even do the right thing and try to raise this unwanted child with her, but she can leave him for virtually any reason and take support cash from him in leui of letting him be a proper father in a two parent family.

    Look at marriage: A woman can have a career, work, right alongside the man, yet if she decides for any reason she is bored or wants to leave, she can file for no fault divorce. Suddenly the family assets become divisible, and if she did not get as educated as the man and enter a career where she was paid as much as him, the discrepancy in her income earning potential nets her an instant profit in either a lump sum or monthly payments. Prenuptial agreements are struck down all the time; so even when women agree in spirit not to do this the courts back them up in robbing the men of their money – even when they arent stay at home mothers sacrificing their careers and when there are no children involved.

    So we are now living in a period of time where women have no responsibility and no consequences for any of their actions when it comes to mates and children.

    Mens rights groups are starting to form, where this was absolutely unthinkable 15 or 20 years ago. There is a difference, however between when men and women get angry about their state of affairs. Women try soft power and slowly create change. Men stew and stew and stew and then make immediate, swift, and radical change almost overnight. In a way women taking advantage and slowly screwing over the male is going to be their own undoing, and I would forsee in 25 or 50 years women losing almost all of their rights suddenly and in one fell swift stroke. All it takes is one very powerful, very angry man who has been deeply wronged by a woman, to rally the 51% of the population who are males and the 15% of women who will stand by their man to immediately change and reverse all the gains women have made.

    THis all said – I am no chauvanist. I enjoy that women have equal rights, and can work or make choices. However when it comes to mating and the family, the laws have to be changed.

    I and many mens groups propose the following amendments to the law:

    1) That a man can, immediately at the time of being informed of a pregnancy by the female, up to the moment of birth, opt to either (a) accept responsibility for the child, or (b) file an affidavit stating the child is unwanted and taking him off the hook for support, which he could rescind at any time up until the child’s birth, at which time it is permanent.

    - This would place the onus on the female (the only one who knows for sure she’s pregnant) to tell the male as soon as possible about the pregnancy. If he was not interested in fathering a baby, then it would be up to her to convince the man to do so, or raise the child on her own or adopt or terminate. No more would be the women who get pregnant, take off, then the first the man hears about it is the child support papers in the mail when she lives in another state.

    2) That in marriage, return to fault divorces. If a woman is leaving a man without fault (abuse, infidelity, etc) then she is entitled to zero payments and zero joint assets other than her personal belongings. If she proves fault on the part of the man, then she is entitled to 100% of the assets. The burden of proof rests entirely with the filing party, and must be rock solid.

    This would end these “Eat Love Pray” type of divorces, where the woman simply is bored, and walks away from a husband, house, family, to run off and screw other guys. It would also, in fact, terminate the reverse – a man who left his wife for a younger edition would be entitled to no share of the joint assets either, which is only fair. The party left behind is emotionally devastated, and did no wrong. They deserve the joint assets and the person walking away because they just dont feel committed anymore has to leave with virtually nothing. Fault in the case of abuse or infidelity comes with real consequences, for either party.


    However in today’s society women are taught by the laws and even their mothers (In my own case, my fiancee’s own mother encouraged her to take off and sleep with other men during the engagement, just so she could get more experience, finding out this fact made me really sick to my stomach – because the mother truly liked me and many times thanked me for being such a great companion for her daughter…. and in constrast, this same mother taught her son who was a few years older that he should find a great woman and settle down to have a family. The son did just that and received all the support in the world, while the daughter was pressured and convinced to sleep around… made me sick) that infidelity is something women deserve and that they should face no consequences.

    This world has got to change. When a guy like me who is relatively successful ( I have my own 4 bedroom house ), in great shape (paramilitary), powerful (paramilitary), rocking in bed (the average woman has an orgasm one in 3 intercourse sessions, I average 6, minimum 2 maximum 98 times and I’m not joking, I’m fine with 6 thank you) who treats her well yet she STILL has an urge to cheat tells me that these women are screwed up in the head – they are taught to cheat, its nothing biological at all to it.

    In my own examples, the cheating “instinct” discussed above is false. 12 years ago my girlfriend cheated on me with a loser guy who was constantly going to jail for getting drunk and doing stupid things who was her best friends’s boyfriend. At the time I worked in investment banking. My next girlfriend cheated on me at least three times, I worked in investent banking and ran my own business, she cheated on me with an unemployeed fool who worked minimum wage if he could who wasnt even great looking, a fat dorky married man with three kids, and some dumb schmuck who played bass guitar in a band and worked as an office administrator at her university, I saw the guy and he looked like he dressed like a 22 year old kid, when he was 34.

    The instinct to cheat is nothing other than “I should get what I want when I want and with who I want it with”. It makes me sick. It’s really not these women’s fault, no more than it is a boy’s fault that he gets into fights at school when his father is always telling him to punch anyone who upsets him in the nose.

    This is an excellent topic.


  81. absolutely brilliant, that last post!!!! thankyou!!!!!


  82. Think of it this way: a key that opens many locks is called a master key. A lock that’s opened by any key is just a shitty lock.


  83. Bar girl bedded 200 men after surfing web for sex with strangers | News Of The World

    http://www.newsoftheworld.co.u.....ngers.html

    What a SKANK!


  84. “A woman being proud of getting laid is like an alcoholic proud of getting drunk.”

    http://www.inmalafide.com/2009.....game-isnt/


  85. The reason a man cannot decide weather or not to keep the child is because the woman’s body is the one which is going to change and it will affect her physically not the man. Pregnancy has many negative affects on the body of a woman. In her last trimester it becomes hard for a woman to move around and hard for her to earn a wage to support herself. Then comes the painful experience of pregnancy and all the complications which may come with that pregnancy and child birth. After a baby is born it needs to be fed breast milk and taken care of constantly and I mean constantly. After approximately 2 years a child may be placed in child care to allow the mother to earn a wage. Child care is expensive, raising a child is expensive.

    Abortion which is another option can be an emotional painful experience for a woman who falls pregnant. When you have a life growing inside you that is 50% yours, killing it, even when you are doing so because the prospects of raising a child would be considerably worse will still most always leave a woman in doubt for the rest of her life. The question will always be what if? And it may feel like grief, loosing something or a someone.

    If a woman chooses to have a child and the father has any doubts if it is theirs they can ask for a paternity test, and I believe all do when facing the possibility of having to pay child support. Because a woman gets to choose to keep the child or not can mean that the father of the child may have little interest in the child as it never wanted it in the first place. In this case it is forcing a man to become a father against his will but which is worse? Forcing a man to become a father even though they may never have to take an active role in fathering the child or forcing the woman to abort the child which she wants to keep? That is a difficult question to answer. But it a reason to think that perhaps men should in fact be more careful in using condoms and be more choosy in which women they sleep with rather than just sleeping with anyone. Maybe this is also why woman are more picky when it comes to sleeping with men because the question of what to do in case of an accidental pregnancy is in the back of their minds.

    In terms of divorce, relationships which last any number of years can be really complex. The cheater is not always at fault. You can’t allocate all the shared assests to any one person in a relationship. If this was the case, partners could manipulate each other into cheating just to get away with all the assets. And cheating is just one way to hurt a person you are in a relationship with. There are others, ie: shutting out the other emotionally, disrespecting them, manipulating them, becoming someone altogether different, indifference to other person, never being around, not having sex with them, not caring aobut them, holding them back, control, possessiveness, insecurities, embarrasment, clinging to your partner, critiscing, blaming, destroying each other’s self esteem, being selfish and self-centered, what ever you like, there are many ways to deteriorate a marriage. Some people might even have just fallen out of love, or maybe they got married too quick, maybe there is a large age gap, maybe they grow to want different things or fight all the time and can’t reach a compromise. Each case is different and divorces can get really complicated.

    If you’re worried about being cheated on or you find that you get cheated on alot, weather you are a man or woman its a time to reflect on your life and ask yourself why? Are you repeatedly choosing the type that cheats? What can you change about yourself that will mean you can attract a better potential partner?

    On the agenda of sluts. There are and probably always have been people from either sexes, both man and woman who sleep around alot. Is it right or not? Maybe its just personal choice. If you are worried about contracting STDs or falling pregnant be diligent in using condoms. If you are a man and don’t like “sluts”, that’s your opinion. But it is not ok to call a woman a slut if you yourself are a slut and then to go and sleep with that slut, thats just hipocricy.

    On the topic of monogamy, it also comes down to something more than just sex. In a monogamous relationships your partner can become a valuable part of your life. They satisfy your physical and emotional needs. This is generally why people get into monogamous relationships in the first place. People who sleep around usually just want sex and only sex. When people get into something and want or expect differnt things thats when people get hurt. I think its important to also mind our own business when it comes to sexuality. Each individual has a right to make their own choices. And both men and women should take responsibility for the way they treat each other.


  86. The reason a man cannot decide weather or not to keep the child is because the woman’s body is the one which is going to change and it will affect her physically not the man. Pregnancy has many negative affects on the body of a woman. In her last trimester it becomes hard for a woman to move around and hard for her to earn a wage to support herself. Then comes the painful experience of pregnancy and all the complications which may come with that pregnancy and child birth. After a baby is born it needs to be fed breast milk and taken care of constantly and I mean constantly. After approximately 2 years a child may be placed in child care to allow the mother to earn a wage. Child care is expensive, raising a child is expensive.

    Abortion which is another option can be an emotional painful experience for a woman who falls pregnant. When you have a life growing inside you that is 50% yours, killing it, even when you are doing so because the prospects of raising a child would be considerably worse will still most always leave a woman in doubt for the rest of her life. The question will always be what if? And it may feel like grief, loosing something or a someone.

    If a woman chooses to have a child and the father has any doubts if it is theirs they can ask for a paternity test, and I believe all do when facing the possibility of having to pay child support. Because a woman gets to choose to keep the child or not can mean that the father of the child may have little interest in the child as it never wanted it in the first place. In this case it is forcing a man to become a father against his will but which is worse? Forcing a man to become a father even though they may never have to take an active role in fathering the child or forcing the woman to abort the child which she wants to keep? That is a difficult question to answer. But it a reason to think that perhaps men should in fact be more careful in using condoms and be more choosy in which women they sleep with rather than just sleeping with anyone. Maybe this is also why woman are more picky when it comes to sleeping with men because the question of what to do in case of an accidental pregnancy is in the back of their minds.

    In terms of divorce, relationships which last any number of years can be really complex. The cheater is not always at fault. You can’t allocate all the shared assests to any one person in a relationship. If this was the case, partners could manipulate each other into cheating just to get away with all the assets. And cheating is just one way to hurt a person you are in a relationship with. There are others, ie: shutting out the other emotionally, disrespecting them, manipulating them, becoming someone altogether different, indifference to other person, never being around, not having sex with them, not caring aobut them, holding them back, control, possessiveness, insecurities, embarrasment, clinging to your partner, critiscing, blaming, destroying each other’s self esteem, being selfish and self-centered, what ever you like, there are many ways to deteriorate a marriage. Some people might even have just fallen out of love, or maybe they got married too quick, maybe there is a large age gap, maybe they grow to want different things or fight all the time and can’t reach a compromise. Each case is different and divorces can get really complicated.

    If you’re worried about being cheated on or you find that you get cheated on alot, weather you are a man or woman its a time to reflect on your life and ask yourself why? Are you repeatedly choosing the type that cheats? What can you change about yourself that will mean you can attract a better potential partner?

    On the agenda of sluts. There are and probably always have been people from either sexes, both man and woman who sleep around alot. Is it right or not? Maybe its just personal choice. If you are worried about contracting STDs or falling pregnant be diligent in using condoms. If you are a man and don’t like “sluts”, that’s your opinion. But it is not ok to call a woman a slut if you yourself are a slut and then to go and sleep with that slut, thats just hipocricy.

    On the topic of monogamy, it also comes down to something more than just sex. In a monogamous relationships your partner can become a valuable part of your life. They satisfy your physical and emotional needs. This is generally why people get into monogamous relationships in the first place. People who sleep around usually just want sex and only sex. When people get into something and want or expect differnt things thats when people get hurt. I think its important to also mind our own business when it comes to sexuality. Each individual has a right to make their own choices. And both men and women should take responsibility for the way they treat each other.

    While you make some good points, something has to be done about the current system. The legal and social systems of today allow women to get away with almost anything when it comes to men, especially when it comes to childcare and marriage.The childcare and marriage system is completely rigged against men.

    Many men don’t even get the chance to take a paternity test because they never hear about the pregnancy until the child is born. The courts then usually force child support on the man without even hearing his side of the story. Some women even try to get pregnant on purpose by using a man’s condom after sex without his knowledge.

    Marriage is another problem. The current system allows women to easily walk away with no strings attached while giving men almost no options even if the woman is at fault in a marriage. There needs to be more equality. Getting married is a huge risk for men. A man’s wife can divorce him at the drop of a hat and ruin him financially and emotionally, as well as taking the kids.

    The fact is that there is no accountability for women. All responsibility and accountability rests on men when it shouldn’t.

    Also, there are far more female sluts than male sluts. Women have sex far more often than men in general. Sex is easily accessible for women, but it takes a lot for a man to get even one fuck.


  87. Id just like to throw out a couple more points, mostly physical.

    Intercourse for woman is submissive in general, they have to OPEN up and TAKE it, either in the mouth, the vagina, or the butt. All of these have massive possibility of discomfort from a too-big or a stupidly-operated penis.

    This has a few implications.

    - slutty girls tend to have looser everything (but mouths) due to this variety and thus perhaps are less enjoyable especially for those guys sensitive about their penis size (80% of dudes)

    - sex involves a lot more trust for a girl, as they dont want to get hurt or (splattered or choked) with semen. Thus slutty girls tend to give the impression of gullibility, or of implicitly making mistakes. Its a number game!!!! If a chick has slept with 20 guys, i bet at least one or two has shot semen down her mouth or on her face, and thats kinda gross if you think about it, not like a deal breaker, but definitely not a pro- when weighing pros and cons.

    To counter this, as a dude, my penis doesn’t shrink when i have sex with many women, small or large vagina included!!! And also, i have never been surprise choked, or had painful intercourse and i don’t have to worry about getting splattered with goop- which is all kind of imo demeaning. People who look questionably at girl ‘sluts’ just know how douchebaggey men can be.

    oh also for a guy to completely clean off from sex takes seconds… i dont really think a woman can ever really clean out her vagina… and if they can its freakin hard, no one wants to eat a girl out with semen still up there. ive came in a girl before and her leave without washing! and ive known a girl who hooked up with more than one guy in a night! if these 2 girls shared their habits… its every guys nightmare and part of the nasty ‘slut’ term for chicks.

    I’m sorry for the vulgarity! This is not something I would bring up to a girl! They get very sensitive about their past and its generally something that left in the past, but these could be reasons why girls sluts are more frowned on. Add to the fact that its 100% freakin impossible (more so than like 50% for a guy) to tell whether a girl has an std, and you can begin seeing where this fear and loathing of girl sluts comes from.


  88. Good topic.


  89. Lets put it this way.
    Your playing basketball with your friends.
    (men)You do a slam dunk every one like “woah how you do that?”.
    (women) Jordan comes up and does a slam sure its cool but he can do those in his sleep.


  90. Give me a break!! This article is ridiculous. Let me tell you I have been with 14 guys in my 32 years of life and my 37 year old man has been with more women than he can even count. But who would be the SLUT?? exactly! If a women has sex it’s not always to get off…but for a man 9 times out of 10 it’s to get his rocks off!! FACT!! I am a woman, I know why I sleep with men!! So men, look at yourselves…you know what I’m saying is true you just don’t want to feel ashamed of yourselves!! Deep down inside you know it’s wrong if you sleep with more women than your partner does men.


  91. Shawn,

    Your partner should feel ashamed of himself? I bet he isn’t and the reason why you want him to feel ashamed is because that will overide the understanding that he has the capability to bed many more women and those women are competition to you. Why would a man be ashamed of having sex with lots of women, this is what a man’s primal biological agenda is.

    And how many partners do you say men should sleep with before it is wrong? So if I had a girlfriend who had slept with 2 parners and I, 10, it is wrong, or if my partner had slept with 100 and I 99, that is ok?

    Deep down you know your man has plenty of options due to his appeal to women and you appear threatened by that. Oh and FACT!!! I am a man and I know why I sleep with women!!!!!! LMAO


  92. I’m so very suprised by some of the things I have read here. Especially those comments written by men where I truly had no idea that men could have such low opinions of women.

    I recently discovered that my boyfriend had been cheating on me with women whom he claims he had no affections for and even admitted during a heated argument that ‘it was just a f”ck’. I came across this page as I contemplated the thought of what if the shoe was on the other foot and I behaved the same as him? Although I am so disappointed in some of what I have read, it’s nonetheless an eye opener into the male brain, or at least an example of what some men think.

    There seems to be a lot of generalising and even a few shockingly judgemental comments, the one made 27 January 2010 1:58AM I find particularly disturbing and I suggest whoever wrote that seeks therapy immediately for your misogynistic views.

    Steoreotyping and prejudicing offer a simple energy-efficient form of behavior, especially in challenging situations. This stereotyping and prejudicing has just lead to unnecessary problems, and cause unneccessary negative elements – from and for both sexes.

    It is ignorance and usually the person or people that start Stereotyping others (in this case the so-called slut) who are actually the weaker ones because they aren’t happy if they can’t instill fear or bully other people to control the environment around them and women have been the victim of this for centuries whether in the home, the bedroom or even today’s office.

    It’s what you don’t know that you end up fearing the most. And how can any of you truly know what someone has really done, what a person is really capable of (man or woman) and how many people that person has slept with – not that it’s any of your god damn business which I think you all seem to forget.

    The thing is that people tend to accept their behaviour as “normal”, meaning as the norm or as most people do. But alas, this is usually farthest from the truth. But this kind of attitude comes with a sense that whatever it is that others do that deviates from their behaviour is not “normal” and should be either corrected or pointed out as “deviant”.

    If we, all of us, took the time to understand why some people behave like “this” or like “that” and why their responses are as valid to them as ours are valid to us then we would start grasping the concept of tolerance. It’s not that what you say or do is wrong, it simply a matter of perspective.

    In my experience, those quick to point others as deviants to the norm tend to have their own skeletons in their closets, and that’s most likely the reason to start this judging and stereotyping, to make others look away from them. Note, I did say only SOME people …

    Some people judge others nonstop – often out loud about things of no importance at all, and others just don’t know how to behave. But who are we to judge in the first place? I’m no Christian or religious woman but surely if you’re not getting hurt then who are we to call any woman or man a slut?

    Some people are insecure. I suspect that many people find that judging others distracts from their own weaknesses. Perhaps a ‘slut’ challenges a male’s manhood? If you were so damn good in the sack then why on earth if did she feel the need to go sleep with him?

    People view others as they view themselves…this leads to judgement. Don’t worry, their is a mirror on both sides.

    But all of this nonsense just sounds like a huge pile of insecurities. Most of us are insecure so we judge and ridicule to cover up our insecurites.

    And as a woman (who is at the wrath of what possibly could be labled as a male slut who surprise surprise blames his infidelity on a so-called female slut) I will conclude that the most natural retaliation which seems to be clear from the male comments is that in order for a man to redeem himself from his debauched behaviour with available women, instead of taking responsbility for his actions or in some circumstances simply
    admitting to his weakness, it’s far easier for a man to point the finger, judge and blame the ‘slut’ and by doing so men feel better about themselves.

    …. Or perhaps there’s incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occured from a male and female perspective.


  93. Haha, check this out, why women are called sluts, and men aren’t! http://therawness.com/why-its-.....ep-around/


  94. Jasmine, did you read the article???

    You said:

    Double standards in one word: suck.
    I myself have had quite a few sex partners, and yes, I’ve been slated (mostly by guys) for it. However, when guys hit on every girl in sight, when they sleep with as many girls as possible, when they flirt with every girl that walks their way…nobody bats an eyelash. Even if he is called a playa by his friends, it’s not in a bad way…it’s actually seen as a good thing! If a girl were to do that she’d be seen as “easy” or a “slut”. Where’s the sense in that?
    ====================

    First of all, the author explained it is not a double-standard. You are compairing apples to oranges. And where’s the sense in that??? He just gave you 3 points, the first 2 of which are right on the money!!

    Even when explained in plain English, you women STILL miss it. How can you be so thick headed?


  95. Sleeping around is easier for women, therefore it’s not respected. Men actually have to work hard at it, therefore it’s respected much more.

    Here’s the author’s explanation:

    For women to rack up a lot of partners, however, it pretty much only requires a vagina and a pulse. So a man whoring it up and a woman whoring it up are hardly the same thing because for a woman to get a lot of partners is absolutely no challenge, hence no one respects it. It’s just viewed as a lack of self-discipline when women indulge in lots of sex partners because they can get new ones whenever they want. When men get lots of sex partners, it’s respected more because getting lots of sex partners, for men, is a challenge. This is just human nature: people gain respect for those who accomplish challenging feats while they consider those who overindulge in easily obtained vices as weak or flawed.

    So gals, just get over it! Promsicuous women will NEVER be respected. PERIOD.


  96. I don’t like it when people argue, “It’s easier for women to get laid” because those that argue it are looking at “getting laid” from a male’s point of view. “Getting laid” for women, is much deeper, and involves a mental connection. In order to “Get laid,” a girl needs to find a guy she likes both mentally, and physically, so the baby she carries has desirable mental and physical qualities, at least, that’s my understanding of a female’s biological process in regards to reproduction. Men look for physical signs of fertility and health, so the baby conceived can be brought to terms. So I’d say it’s about equal for both sexes.


  97. I don’t like it when people argue, “It’s easier for women to get laid” because those that argue it are looking at “getting laid” from a male’s point of view. “Getting laid” for women, is much deeper, and involves a mental connection. In order to “Get laid,” a girl needs to find a guy she likes both mentally, and physically, so the baby she carries has desirable mental and physical qualities, at least, that’s my understanding of a female’s biological process in regards to reproduction. Men look for physical signs of fertility and health, so the baby conceived can be brought to terms. So I’d say it’s about equal for both sexes.

    Not really. The truth is that women have sex to “get off” just as much as men do. Men and women are pretty much equal as far as emotional investment into sex is concerned. This fact has been largely hidden due to media bias and women, who want to make it seem like their sexual escapades have a “noble purpose.”

    Besides, none of what you posted changes the fact that sex must be earned by men but is easily accessible to women. Also, most slut propaganda against a woman comes from other women in the first place since women prefer to damage each other socially over direct confrontation. Women know that they can get sex easily and don’t like it when other women exercise this power.


  98. This seems like a desperate defense for a rather simple issue.

    Firstly, it’s convenient that the author totally ignores the fact that the word “slut” is a social stigma attached to a long history of sexual repression, religious fundamentalism and male dominance.

    People that call girls sluts aren’t thinking about the biological and social implications of the girl’s actions, they’re following cultural norms that are advantageous to them. Plain and simple.

    Keeping that in mind is of paramount importance when discussing the term. If the author doesn’t recognize that, they’re a total fool. If they did recognize that and didn’t bring it up, then this article is massively academically dishonest. In either case, you cannot talk about issues like this without contextualizing them. It’s a joke. It’d be like having a discussion about sectarian violence in Iraq without mentioning the occupation. “What are they so mad about?” Hmm, I wonder.

    But let’s deal with the article point by point here, keeping in mind that we are defending an oppressive term against women and an encouraging word for men on exactly the same moral grounds.

    First the author claims that it isn’t as easy for men to sleep around as it is for women. There are certainly exceptions but we’ll grant the point. Fair enough, but how does that support his argument? Because it’s easy for women they should be bashed for exercising it?

    Keep in mind that sex is a two-way street. For every stud there MUST be a slut, so you’re encouraging not just a double standard but an inherit contradiction. It’s beyond nonsensical, it’s direct stupidity.

    If we grant the premise of the author’s argument, there could BE no studs. If women kept themselves shut off and men are encouraged to have as much sex as possible, someone is going to lose that one. So it might as well be women right? Certainly works out nicely for the guy, he gets to have all the sex he wants and the women takes all the blame for it.

    That might sound partisan, but it’s that basic context that’s missing from this article.

    Second, women do more “harm” by sleeping around. The entire basis of this claim is that “no one knows” who the father is if the woman sleeps around.

    It’s called birth control and DNA testing, I’d say that’s solidly debunked.

    Even if we grant the author’s point, how is that OBJECTIVELY WORSE than 5 pregnant women with a father that doesn’t give a shit about any of them? It also has the basic problem of arguing for objective morality, which is cute. Tell me, how can one scientifically measure how much “damage” is done by this? What’s the metric system for determining it?

    Third reason, men are “evolutionary programmed” to sleep around. At this point, I have to just be mocking about this. Woopty-fucking-doo.

    Men are also sentient creatures capable of denying their basic urges if they don’t agree with them. It’s why we don’t run around raping, eating, burning or killing anything we see. Human beings collectively decide what behavior should or should not be accepted. Arguing that human beings “naturally” are some way or another way is irrelevant to deciding what we will or won’t approve of in a society.

    Furthermore, human beings are no longer in a natural environment so arguing for “natural” circumstances is nonsensical. Stop driving your car or using your computer if you believe that, evolve natural solutions to them instead.

    Even if we grant ALL of the author’s reasoning here, evolution has no bias towards anything except what keeps the species alive. The author’s notions about this being “better” for women is misguided chivalry at best and flat-out eugenics at worse.

    Organic creatures adapt to new environments and surroundings and there is no such thing as a “superior” social setup except one which keeps the species alive better.

    In that regard, all of the author’s points are trivial differences. What does it matter that more babies are made via male promiscuity if no infrastructure is in place to provide for these new children?

    Sex is not exactly in short supply, it by no means needs to be regimented or amped up. Human beings have plenty of babies on their own, almost always with single partners.

    Sorry to write an essay in response, but it really took this much time to break down all the massive flaws in this argument.

  99. Athlone McGinnis on February 18th, 2010 at 10:08 PM

    So, to respond to Saladin…

    “People that call girls sluts aren’t thinking about the biological and social implications of the girl’s actions, they’re following cultural norms that are advantageous to them. Plain and simple.”

    I disagree with this.I could care less about the cultural norms you speak of, particularly since I see not how they benefit me significantly in this case.
    I just call them like I see them. Women who sleep around at an exorbitant rate are sluts. No real malice here(I will concede that I held much malice at one point, but I’ve passed that stage), they just are what they are, and that is what I believe.

    I don’t view this with an eye to cultural norms. I actually do tend to analyze this debate(and others like it) in terms of the social and biological implications of the girl’s actions. My opinion is simply that these implications are exceedingly negative(yes, more so for women than men IMO-I’ll back up my viewpoint later by supporting the original author) for women, hence my overall opinion. I don’t see how use of the term would preclude any reasonable objective analysis of the social and biological implications of the matter.

    “First the author claims that it isn’t as easy for men to sleep around as it is for women. There are certainly exceptions but we’ll grant the point. Fair enough, but how does that support his argument? Because it’s easy for women they should be bashed for exercising it?”

    No, other way around. That argument only explains specifically why men are lauded for sleeping around rather than being condemned. There are other reasons(some outlined above) why women are specifically bashed for doing it. That being said, men who accomplish it gain applause because, quite frankly, it is hard to convince a lot of women to have sex with you.
    It is what it is.

    “Keep in mind that sex is a two-way street. For every stud there MUST be a slut, so you’re encouraging not just a double standard but an inherit contradiction. It’s beyond nonsensical, it’s direct stupidity.”

    No, for every stud there is NOT NECESSARILY a slut. You are discounting a crucial factor within the mating game: hypergamy(referred to by scientists as mating skew).

    To put it simply, all men are not created equal. There is not an even spread of partners between the genders. What you’re seeing is not an equal number of men and women screwing one another.
    What happens in reality is a skew: A small number of men(studs, alphas, players, whatever you want to call them) bed a large majority of the women(some say 80%, others 70%-its a big majority, leave it at that).

    This is because females are naturally hypergamous. when left to their own devices, they have a tendency to seek the top percentiles of men. That is to say, those with the most in the way of confidence, assertiveness, status, power, etc(or all of the above). Thus, when women are in their reproductive prime, they gravitate towards these men and attempt to be with them. The fact is, women are attracted to certain traits and there aren’t all that many men who have them in spades. The few men who do get their pick of mates.

    These are not just sluts-they are average girls, good girls, cute but sort of nerdy girls, etc, etc. For the stud, this new girl he beds might just be another notch in an exorbitant total. The girl he beds? it could be her 2nd or 3rd. or it could be a girl with much more experience(20th? 30th?). There are high chances of either one-he’ll run through quite a number of girls of each type.
    The less experienced girl may still remain a good girl, even after their relationship. It will just be a small blip within her relatively uncluttered sexual history. But the bottomline is, its is still a blip and another notch for the man. It isn’t a typical “nice guy”, “reliable”, “gentleman” who got to her-it was a stud.
    Will her 4th partner be the “nice guy” and not the stud? sure, but if here previous 3 were charming studs then the fact remains that the studs are getting most of the sex, even though this girl is not a slut.

    The bottom line is studs are not limited to sluts. They own the lion’s share of the sexual marketplace today, and that includes average girls to. This means that there is no parity. studs are not limited by sluts because, by virtue of being studs(aka very attractive, confident, etc) they can get just about any type of woman they wish. And they do.

    This link explains this phenomenon very well:

    http://alpha-status.blogspot.c.....inary.html

    “Second, women do more “harm” by sleeping around. The entire basis of this claim is that “no one knows” who the father is if the woman sleeps around.

    It’s called birth control and DNA testing, I’d say that’s solidly debunked.”

    Assuming DNA testing was mandatory today upon birth/pregnancy(it isn’t) and that trapping among women in order to get pregnant unbeknown to her boyfriend was not occurring at a significant rate today(it is), you’d totally have a point.

    As it is, I do concede the fact that birth control and DNA testing do mitigate the risks significantly.

    “Even if we grant the author’s point, how is that OBJECTIVELY WORSE than 5 pregnant women with a father that doesn’t give a shit about any of them? It also has the basic problem of arguing for objective morality, which is cute. Tell me, how can one scientifically measure how much “damage” is done by this? What’s the metric system for determining it?”

    Fair point. I’d say they are about even morality wise.

    “Third reason, men are “evolutionary programmed” to sleep around. At this point, I have to just be mocking about this. Woopty-fucking-doo.

    Men are also sentient creatures capable of denying their basic urges if they don’t agree with them. It’s why we don’t run around raping, eating, burning or killing anything we see. Human beings collectively decide what behavior should or should not be accepted. Arguing that human beings “naturally” are some way or another way is irrelevant to deciding what we will or won’t approve of in a society.”

    Ah, but no creature is entirely immune to their biological urges, women the least of all.

    Men are naturally polygamous. If you gave them the chance to exercise that desire, they would generally do so without fail. Deny it all you want-talk about how we are “sentient creatures” and the like. It doesn’t change much at all. This natural urge will still continue to play a fairly significant role in the way men behave and relate to women. Society’s approval is somewhat insignificant-it will still be an issue regardless, and it will continue to govern many of the ways men behave. It really and truly won’t change with denial-this is a reality that must be faced and dealt with.

    Female urges are just as real and just as strong. Women are hypergamous as opposed to polygamous. They desire status and/or signs indicating status/dominance/confidence over just about anything else. Men who exude these crucial traits tend to receive the most female attention.
    Is this always good for society? No, not really. Quite often women follow their instincts to men who, while dominant and in possession of all of these attractive traits, could be psychopaths or poor fathers(the type of guy who won’t give a damn about rearing the offspring he fathers).
    But that doesn’t change things. Women are hypergamous. This instinct will continue to create this paradox, even if we as “sentient beings” realize just how dysfunctional it is.

    “Furthermore, human beings are no longer in a natural environment so arguing for “natural” circumstances is nonsensical. Stop driving your car or using your computer if you believe that, evolve natural solutions to them instead.”

    The instincts developed amidst our “natural environment” so long ago still influence us today. They may influence us less with our technology and advancement, but they still matter quite a bit and likely always will.
    To ignore this is to invite self defeat with regards to analyzing male-female relations.

    “Organic creatures adapt to new environments and surroundings and there is no such thing as a “superior” social setup except one which keeps the species alive better.”

    I suppose that makes our current setup quite inferior, then. Even compared to the older, more oppressive one(assuming species survival is the key factor).


  100. Its like this, If you find a master key that opens up many locks, it is awesome! However, if you find a lock that can be opened by many keys, the lock is useless.


  101. It is contradictory to claim that our two basic primal drives are to survive and to reproduce and then argue that it is somehow NOT by that nature that females are therefore “promiscuous.”


  102. It is contradictory to claim that our two basic primal drives are to survive and to reproduce and then argue that it is somehow NOT by that nature that females are therefore “promiscuous.”

    Did you fully read the piece? It explains fully well why it’s not contradictory. The key is understanding the difference between sex drive and promiscuity. Sex drive is how much you want to have sex, regardless of if its with one partner or many. Promiscuity on the other hand is a desire for many partners. One can be totally averse to promiscuity but have a sex drive through the roof. One can have an average sex drive but be extremely promiscuous.

    For women, high sex drive is the main selection pressure, not promiscuity. For men, promiscuity AND sex drive is selected for. I explained the logistical reasons why above, but I’ll do so again now.

    Whether a woman fucks 100 cocks or 10 cocks in a year, the most pregnancies she can have is one or two. Whether she fucks the same guy 100 times or 100 guys once apiece, she will only be able to have one or two pregnancies a year. So for a woman to get the maximum output of kids she can in a given period of time, she just has to fuck a lot. She doesn’t need to fuck a lot of different men, just fucking the same one or two men a whole bunch will accomplish the same result Therefore throughout human history, the women who had the most sex passed their genes on the most, regardless of whether it was with two partners or two hundred.

    With men however there is a distinct advantage to both having a lot of sex AND having sex with lots of different people. If a man has sex 100 times in a year with one woman, she’ll have at most one or two pregnancies in a year. She is the reproductive bottleneck. If the man spreads out his 100 sex acts in a year with 100 different women instead, he can in theory have up to 100 kids bringing his genes into the next generation.

    For these reasons, evolution favors promiscuous men in a much bigger way than promiscuous women. Women don’t gain as much a genetic advantage from promiscuity the way men do. A non-promiscuous woman with a high sex drive can reproduce just as competitively in reproduction as a promiscuous woman and keep her genes moving into the next generation just as well. A promiscuous man however has the potential to pass much more genes into the next generation than a non-promiscuous man, and his promiscuous children can each do the same the next generation.

    If you look at cheating statistics between men and women, it backs up what I say. When women cheat, it’s usually not with as big a variety of partners as men who cheat, who tend to go for a lot higher number of partners.


  103. commented: I see the issue as Double Stan… http://therawness.com/why-its-.....ep-around/


  104. I went out last night, and per the usual, I had a number of typical slutty men try to hit on me. Sometimes people tell me that a lot of men hit on me because I am “cute” or “attractive.” I myself do not take it as a compliment at all, because as this article states, most men are sluts and will go for anything halfway decent looking, especially if they are drunk. I know the moment another attractive woman walks in the door, he will slut himself out to her as well.

    It would be wonderful if I could find more men that I actually respected. There are straight up sluts, guys that like to fake they are aren’t sluts to get some, and guys that are in denial that they are sluts. There have been a FEW that are not sluts, and those have been the ones that I end up dating seriously.

    Yes, it’s true, I will never have game because I will never have to. In ways it sucks. But then again I do like the fact that I can go out and get sex whenever I want without doing any work if I so desire. Maybe it’s a control thing. Attractive women always have this control over men. Yet it is boring and predictable. It has it’s positives and negatives.

    Because men are so easy, sometimes I do use them for what they are good for (if they’re even good at it), and go on my way. Honestly, I would do it more often if it weren’t for the fear on getting an STD. In this way I get what I want, and they get what they want. I see nothing wrong with this on either end. My main complaint is how boring it can be for a female. But then again, I’m not looking for a cocky guy playing hard to get. Simply someone with some respect for sex who doesn’t screw anything attractive in his sight.


  105. intresting. “using men for what they’re good for”. i suppose theres no mystery then why the worlds full of dishonest men, getting exactly what they want from women and having stories to tell. it creates a climate where not only do the decent guys miss out on wild sex with the women they desire. but also, those “slut/stud” guys get to laugh at them and the women that give in to them. and its true what a previous post stated. that its not just the slutty girls ending up on their backs with these guys. its also those poor hapless females, thinking they’re getting something substantiated. only to be stepped on and then stepped over.

    learning to appreciate women takes a degree of learning for sensitive guys and a alot of unlearning for predatory men. its a real heartbreaker that decent guys have to wait til the predators have had their fun and then pick up the pieces. to then spend every day with her, proving to her that he’s not a “bastard”. only as a consequence of her past actions and not his. but aint this what being “decent” is all about? would it ever be possible for the nice guy to get the nice girl, without him having to deal with other men constantly fucking it up? and women always selling out to these guys, just to make mess of themselves? most women will go for that “fix” as much as most men do. but only the woman knows for definate, if its going to happen or not. but hey, its only “sex” right? and all us blokes should just learn to deal with what we get rationed to us. boring? yes, being honest with women is pretty boring. and makes you almost invisible to them from a sexual point of view. i really struggle to see any other truth


  106. some other guy’s cock may fit better but the best hugs come from meeeeeeee!! isnt affection wonderful????


  107. #1

    I’m sure it’s easier for a hot guy to get laid than a girl that looks like a linebacker.

    #2

    Guys not knowing how many women they have impregnated is just as damaging as a woman not knowing which guy impregnated her. STDs are more damaging than both of those though.

    #3

    True women can only have one or two pregnancies per year but that really doesn’t give any reason to limit the number of sexual partners. Sex doesn’t guarantee a pregnancy and women can’t smell out the more fertile males. Having sex with more men would increase the chance of getting a fertile one and therefore increase the chance of pregnancy. Women can also have twins, triplets, and so on with different fathers. So if a guys sperm count greatly decreases for round 2 of sex wouldn’t it make sense for the woman to move onto another guy immediately to increase the chances of having all the eggs inseminated?

    And it doesn’t seem to make so much sense biologically that men would want to father 100 children to different women. It seems that would or could create a lot half sibling inbreeding, at least back before travel was so easy.

    Conclusion:

    You are retarded.


  108. Wow You Suck, that was seriously so retarded it’s not even worth debating. I don’t there was one logically sound assertion in the whole comment.


  109. This is all the biggest load of bull shit I have ever read in my life!

    When I have slept with a man it’s when I’m seeing him and in a relationship. I’ll stop seeing him because usually it’s because he’s a two-timing dog or on the very rare occassion it’s simply because the spark is no longer there and it simply has faded. I can think of 5 relationships that have ended because HE was a dog, and one relationship that ended simply because it wasn’t working for whatever reason although nothing to do with the fact that he hurt me. And if I feel that I don’t want to be with a man anymore, or I’m interested in someone else – although this has only happened once in my life time – I will end the relationship first before moving on (i.e. sleeping with the next one)! You men should try it some time, it’s far less painful and dramatic then to risk getting your balls chopped off.

    I’m sure one of you cocky smart asses will somehow transcribe this comment into me somehow, somewhere along the line being a slut. Perhaps I’m a slut simply because I’m not a virgin. Perhaps in order for women to avoid being labelled as sluts we should all maintain our virginities?!

    Seems that you men seem to believe that any woman who is attractive, ugly, doesn’t enjoy sex, enjoys sex, has had sex with more than one man, has no-strings attached sex (just like men), has cheated, can accidently/purposely become pregnant, catch STDs, , blah blah blah blah blah…. is a slut! Well how about it’s just life!? That’s just the way the cookie crumbles. People do things, make mistakes, seek pleasure, seek happiness, etc whether a woman or a man. We live for a very long time, if you think about it your average woman can rack up about 40 years of sexual activity in her life time, well guess what dickheads?? No surprise she too might have a few notches on her bedpost just as you do!

    It has fuck all to do with biology. There’s nothing biological about being a so-called slut, and there’s nothing biological about it being ok for blokes to sleep around. It isn’t ok you fools but no surprises there’s about 100 comments here FROM MEN justifying why a man who sleeps around is a stud and a woman who does the same is a slut. You don’t like “sluts” because everyone knows a man HATES the idea of thinking that the woman he’s with has slept with the same if not more people than him. Men just hate the idea of their woman being with another man. Well guess what, just as much as you’ve been with other women, we’ve been with other men. For every man having sex, there’s a woman having sex too. That’s just basic maths. Not biology.

    But guess what darlings, you better wake up and smell the condoms because whilst you sit here with your 500 year old beliefs on how women should behave I think you seem to have forgotten that society has progressed. Have you been living in a cave for the past century? Have you not seen how women are developing more and more throughout the ages. We’re liberated, successful, career women, mothers, intelligent, free and fucking fabulous and if that means I have to be called a slut then so be it, I’m damn proud to be a slut.

    The slut days are dead and burried just as much as your opinions on this subject matter. Get over it. Women may not be the same as men but we sure as hell are equal whether professionally, independently or sexually!

    How about stop over analysing a load of tripe that doesn’t matter anymore in this world and focus on more important things like how can you as a man evolve just as we women have. Perhaps if you weren’t so available, always cheating, lying, sleeping around that the new modern woman wouldn’t feel so inclinded to do the same? What are we do? Sit around and wait for you whilst you’re out having all the fun? I don’t think so. Men cheat and sleep around because they can, not because biology tells them to do so which ironically is EXACTLY the same reason why women do it so why on earth do you bastards deserve praise and we don’t? Oh yeah, because men had the final word on the matter.

    At the end of the day, women are evolving, we’re growing, we’re developing and we’re achieving A LOT! I suppose the last little piece of control you have left over us is to call us sluts because deep down you know we feel negatively affected by this name, of course we do, I do! Otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this now!

    Well good luck to your small minded points of view, although I doubt very much it’ll get you far in this day and age (let alone a decent girlfriend).


  110. ANON, you might try reading this stuff, instead of just ranting. Sad, really.

    Look at Amorknights quote:”Also, most slut propaganda against a woman comes from other women in the first place since women prefer to damage each other socially over direct confrontation. Women know that they can get sex easily and don’t like it when other women exercise this power.” This jives with my experience. I’ve heard more women use the word slut than men. Go bitch to them, not us. We’re trying to have an itellectual discussion here.

    In any case, men will gladly have sex with sluts, they might not want them as girlfriends though. There are good reasons for this. A decent looking woman is going to get hit on all the time. A woman with a track record of fucking every dude that asks her out is probably going to cheat on her BF. So why wife her up? Just get the sex and be on your way.

    “why on earth do you bastards deserve praise and we dont?”
    Sigh. Because it takes hustle for a guy to pick up chicks. Women just have to be decent looking and someone is going to want to fuck them. This isn’t rocket science. BTW, I don’t know that guys get ‘praised’ for getting laid alot. They get people wondering how they do it, because everyone wants to be in that position. Think about it, this all makes sense.


  111. I don’t buy into any of this bullshit. There is no reason in today’s age, why females should still have to feel ashamed or guilty because of their sexuality when males do not.

    Men are not going around trying to get women pregnant. Rather, they would want to avoid it. So, this whole men can get more women pregnant bullshit it just that. BULLSHIT!

    At the end of the day a female just has to be confident enough in who she is to make her own decisions and accept the consequences and repercussions.

    Men are going to be men, they want females to believe this nonsense so they can control u and make u feel trapped.

    Over a span of 8 years (I’m 20) I have had sex with 15 guys and am not ashamed of it. Kiss my ass!

  112. Athlone McGinnis on March 29th, 2010 at 5:49 PM

    Ok TY….

    “I don’t buy into any of this bullshit. There is no reason in today’s age, why females should still have to feel ashamed or guilty because of their sexuality when males do not.”

    Yes and no.

    In our modern age, it is true that there is much more tolerance of promiscuity. That means shaming for such behavior is definitely less prevalent, and guilt is therefore less common.

    At the same time, the “double standard” still remains.

    Stud praising and slut shaming did not arise out of a patriarchal misogynist society. It doesn’t exist because a bunch of greedy men want to control you.
    It exists because of biology.

    Women are attracted to men who are sexually experienced(hence the studs continued ability to attract women) and men, generally, will shy away from women who are considered “loose”(that is, assuming they find out about it). Mind you, they won’t shy away from a one night stand or fuck-buddy type relationship with this woman, but her notch count will work against her if she is seeking commitment from the guy.

    This does not mean that men who later look for long term relationships exclusively consider virgins, but it does mean that they will prefer a woman who is around the average for number of sexual partners over one who has a much higher number.
    Will most attractive women with very high notch counts still eventually find a long term relationship? sure. They do it everyday as it is.

    That does not mean, however, that they will not be devalued on the sexual market when it comes to landing a guy willing to commit to them. Men have, for biological reasons(example: paternity certainty before DNA, etc) always selected against it, and will continue to.
    By that same token, studs will continue to attract many women despite their reputations because women prefer men who are experienced and understand the keys to jump starting a woman’s attraction.

    Other double standards that will remain? Virgin males(as well as other men with well below average levels of experience) will never be as valued as their female counterparts. They will continue to be ridiculed in society(40 year old virgin?) and, until they break the mold, will enjoy lower amounts of sexual attention.

    “Men are not going around trying to get women pregnant. Rather, they would want to avoid it. So, this whole men can get more women pregnant bullshit it just that. BULLSHIT!”

    Your argument is entirely fallacious.

    We evolved with that mindset firmly in place. The notions of pregnancy and how it affects the sexes has always been paramount, as I and others have noted.
    Only within the last 20-30 years has technology allowed us the ability to overcome these natural barriers and give women the opportunity to hold less concern for their fertility. Contraceptives are new. VERY new.
    Do the math.
    Hundreds of thousands of years of evolution vs. 20-30 years of “sexual liberation”(contraceptive era).

    How can you miss this?

    We evolved to take this into account. Society and technology have imposed new rules lately, but the instinct is still there. It is hardwired into our very being, and will remain so unless another couple hundred thousand years of evolutions serve to undue it.
    Society has moved past a lot of these instincts. Our bodies do not know this.

    “At the end of the day a female just has to be confident enough in who she is to make her own decisions and accept the consequences and repercussions.”

    That means accepting the reasoning I’ve outlined above.

    Today, you are free to do as you please with your body. Others are free to criticize you for it as well. The double standard is still in play(in more than one way) and will remain so.
    Have fun when you’re young, but don’t complain when you hit your late 20′s, decide you want a more concrete type of relationship with a more stable guy who is willing to commit, announce to him your sexual past, and have to deal with relationship issues stemming from this.

    Men are more hesitant to commit to highly promiscuous women. That’s a repercussion you need to be prepared for.

    “Men are going to be men, they want females to believe this nonsense so they can control u and make u feel trapped.”

    No, you’re incorrect. This isn’t some sort of conspiracy theory. Its just a fact of life. It always has been and probably will remain so.

    Say you’re a 29 year old with a notch count of 33(where you’re headed at your current rate). You’re free to sleep around, but when you seek commitment men are gonna be a little more wary. You most likely will find your “happy ending” eventually but it will be harder earned for you than it will for the other pretty girl who not only clicks with that guy like you do but has had roughly half the number of partners.

    “Over a span of 8 years (I’m 20) I have had sex with 15 guys and am not ashamed of it. Kiss my ass!”

    Your future intended husband might be. Be careful with that later on in life. Its all fun and games now, but most men(as I’ve already said about 8 times this post) will be wary of committing to you.
    You can find a guy who may be less concerned(it can be done), but they’re less common and you’ll need to work harder to find one you like. The price will likely be paid, regardless.


  113. A consideration of the cultural economy of sex goes
    beyond the simple recognition that men want sex from
    women. Insofar as that is generally true, the social network
    will recognize it and organize the behavior of individuals
    and couples on that basis. Treating sex as a
    female resource means that each culture (we define
    culture as an information-based social system) will endow
    female sexuality with value, unlike male sexuality.
    Women will receive other valued goods in return
    for their sexual favors. Male sexuality, in contrast, cannot
    be exchanged for other goods. Put another way,
    women become the suppliers of sex, whereas men constitute
    the demand for it and play the role of purchasers
    and consumers. Even though in one sense a man and a
    woman who are having sexual intercourse are both doing
    similar things, socially they are doing quite different
    things.
    Thus, the first prediction based on the social exchange
    theory of sex is that interpersonal processes associated
    with sexual behavior will reveal a fundamental
    difference in gender roles. Men will offer women
    other resources in exchange for sex, but women will
    not give men resources for sex (except perhaps in
    highly unusual circumstances). In any event, the bottom
    line is that sexual activity by women has exchange
    value, whereas male sexuality does not. Female virginity,
    chastity, fidelity, virtuous reputation, and similar
    indicators will have positive values that will be mostly
    absent in the male (see Table 1). Put anotherway, it will
    matter more to the formation and continuation of a relationship
    whether the woman is a virgin than whether
    the man is; whether the woman engages in sex with another
    partner than whether the man does, and so forth.


  114. Why would sex be a female resource? Symons’s
    (1979) original answer focused on reproductive strategies
    shaped by evolution as the ultimate cause. In
    his account, the minimal male investment in parenthood
    is almost zero, whereas for a woman it is substantial.
    Therefore, he proposed, sex for a man is all
    benefit with little or no cost, whereas for a woman
    the potential cost (possible pregnancy, with pain and
    possibly death attending childbirth) is substantial
    even if the pleasure is quite high. The risk of high
    cost will be an incentive for the woman to hold back,
    and so the man must offer her some benefits to offset
    this. However, Symons also acknowledged (p. 261)
    that human beings do not necessarily care about these
    ultimate causes, and so the immediate psychological
    factors that lead people to treat sex as a medium of
    exchange require further explanation.
    A somewhat different explanation for why sex is a
    female resource can be deduced from motivational
    differences. Social exchange theory has featured
    the “principle of least interest” (Waller & Hill, 1938/
    1951). According to that principle, a party gains power
    by virtue of wanting a connection less than the other
    wants it. For example, Waller and Hill proposed that
    the person who is less in love has more power to shape
    and influence the relationship, because the one who is
    more in love will be more willing to make compromises
    and offer other inducements to keep the relationship
    going. If men want sex more than women, therefore,
    men would have to offer other benefits to
    persuade women to have sex, even if women desire and
    enjoy sex too.
    Is it plausible that men desire sex more than
    women? A literature review recently examined the
    question of gender differences in sex drive by comparing
    men and women on behavioral indexes of sex drive
    (Baumeister, Catanese, & Vohs, 2001). On every measure,
    men were found to display greater sexual motivation
    than women. Specifically, men think about sex
    more often, have more frequent fantasies, are more frequently
    aroused, desire sex more often (both early and
    late in relationships and outside of relationships), desire
    a higher number of sex partners, masturbate more
    frequently, are less willing to forego sex and are less
    successful at celibacy (even when celibacy is supported
    by personal religious commitments), enjoy a
    greater variety of sexual practices, take more risks and
    expend more resources to obtain sex, initiate more goal
    directed behavior to get sex, refuse sex less often, commence
    sexual activity sooner after puberty, have more
    permissive and positive attitudes toward most sexual
    behaviors, are less prone to report a lack of sexual desire,
    and rate their sex drives as stronger than women.
    No findings indicated that women had a stronger sex
    drive than men on any measure.


  115. Although certainly there are some women with high
    sex drives and some men with relatively low ones,
    these are exceptions, and moreover these exceptional
    types do not appear to form mismatched couples very
    often. Byers and Lewis (1988) found that half the couples
    in their large sample disagreed about sex at least
    once a month, and without exception all of the disagreements
    involved the man wanting sexual activity
    while the woman did not. Likewise, a large sample of
    couples studied by McCabe (1987) found that the category
    of partnered individuals who wanted sex but were
    not having it (“reluctant virgins”) consisted almost entirely
    of men. Thus, the sexual negotiations of couples
    appear to center around the men’s efforts to induce the
    women to have sex, and not the reverse.
    The gender difference in sex drive applies both to
    new and established relationships. Therefore the
    principle
    of least interest might predict that men would
    continue to give resources for sex throughout the relationship.
    Within established relationships, however,
    the rules of exchange may be blurred by several factors.
    In modern marriage, for example, resources are
    generally jointly owned by both couples, and so the
    woman already technically has claim to all her husband’s
    resources. This limits what more he can offer
    her, thereby removing the basis for exchange or negotiation.
    Possibly her role is simply to give him enough
    sex to sustain the marriage. The exchange may also be
    concealed or complicated by other aspects of longterm
    marriage, such as declining sex appeal with aging
    and the reduced freedom of both spouses to seek other
    partners and thereby ensure that they get full market
    value.
    A last perspective on why sex is a female resource
    would invoke the economic subjugation of women in
    society. In hunter-gatherer and subsistence farming societies,
    men and women already had separate roles and
    spheres of activity, both of which made vital contributions
    to survival. The development of a broader sphere
    of economic and political activity occurred mainly
    from the male sphere, however, and so as wealth and
    power were created in society, they were created by
    and owned by men, leaving women at a disadvantage
    (see Wood & Eagly, 2002). Sex was one of the few resources
    women had with which to barter for access to
    these new, social resources (and the material resources
    that often depended on the social resources). The social
    exchange surrounding sex may therefore be especially
    associated with cultures and periods in which women
    lack avenues other than being a supplier of sex for obtaining
    material and social resources.


  116. Here’s the link to entire study:

    http://www.csom.umn.edu/Assets/71503.pdf

    It is certainly incorrect to say the reason for this phenomena is becauses males have suppressed female sexuality.

  117. Plundered Pop on April 17th, 2010 at 4:47 PM

    Women are scary.


  118. Women who sleep around a lot are called easy. Not because they are easy to get into bed, but because what they do is easy. A fat ugly girl who wants to get laid simply has to put on some makeup and high heels and wait for last call at the local dive bar. It takes a lot of skill for a man to be able to sleep with a lot of women. Why don’t you just look at famous men and women who sleep around a lot and compare and contrast. Men who do or could sleep around if they wanted to Tiger Woods, George Clooney, Brad Pitt. Women who do sleep around a lot: Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan. Compare the two. Which group seems more stable and accomplished?


  119. The original article is so obviously true,logical and transparent, I assumed everyone on the planet knew these reasons for the different attitudes towards male vs female promiscuity. The thing I have found quite depressing is the inability of the women who have read it to actually consider the merits of understanding these base differences. Instead they seem to totally miss the point and wander off into inequalities, std’s, abortions all of which seem to highlight their own self-centred attitudes. All of these last points are related to recent cultural changes rather than the primal biological drives that the author is referring to, and may I add that these cultural changes have largely come about by women taking advantage of males – for example is paid maternity leave taken by these women who are “self-sufficient” not actually subsidised by the very males they do not need to support them?
    Slut or stud is pure semantics, reverse the names and within a year female studs would be scorned and disparaged by males and females alike and male sluts will be admired and respected again by males and females alike.
    Personally I would have no problem being called a slut, I have seen plenty of instances of men being selscted (under the guise of “love”) as a partner only to find that all they are is a life support machine until no longer required. I think the current divorce rate highlights this rather well.
    My advice to men – be a slut.

  120. e v i l e d d y on April 27th, 2010 at 3:26 PM

    Obtaining sex as a woman is easy… “easy” is a synonym for “slut”

    What more needs to be said?


  121. You need to wake up and join in the REAL WORLD!!! What a sad loser.


  122. the more you pursue a woman, the more she will run. they want to see how far you’re willing to run. in my case, not too far. all women seem hell bent on making you “prove” something to them. is that not backward thinking? its boring! and dating is boring! and one night stands with women you dont even really fancy, are boring!(in hindsight). always the way that the one you’re crazy for, is making you run harder. and dishing it all out to other guys, instead. so, a man can sit and pine. or he can do his best to take his mind off being “played”. you try to forget her or you get made a mug of. its all just a big crock of shit! and no woman gives a shit anymore than you do. they just want you to think that they do. so you keep chasing your tail like a dumb fucking dog!


  123. Women are so pathetic and illogical! If they can’t understand why males who have a lot of sex are called studs and why a female is called a slut, they are just hopeless. It’s not because of a double standard or men trying to control you.

    Take 50 men and 50 women. 10 of the males are alpha males and very successful, and 40 are average to below average in looks and success.

    Who do you think will be having all the sex as males?

    It will be the alpha males. Most, if not all, of the 50 women will want to have sex with all 10 of the alpha males therefore all 50 of the women will have at least 10 sexual partners. The alpha males will have a lot of sex and therefore be called studs. The average and below average will be lucky to have 1 or 2 women have sex with them.

    So in simple facts of life, there is a small percentage of alpha males having most of the sex when it comes to males. ALL women are sluts! GET IT!!!! Again, it’s not a double standard, it’s a fact of life and something that will never change. Slut shaming is a term made up by the lowest form of life-FEMINISTS!

    You are not always a victim Ladies. There are a lot of things that are different between the sexes, fairly or unfairly. Deal with it instead of continually demonizing men and blaming them for all your problems. It gets really old and most men are tired of it.


  124. For those women who are too stupid to understand what I wrote, let me explain in even simpler terms:

    50 men
    50 women

    10 alpha males
    40 average to below average males

    Most, if not all, women will try to have sex with the alpha males.

    10 Alpha males= 50 sex partners each (each alpha male gets with all 50 women)= stud or slut, whichever term you wish to use…men don’t care!

    40 Average to below average males= 1 or 2 sex partners each= stud not so much!

    Women= sex with each alpha male + 1 or 2 average males= 11 or 12 sex partners per woman= ALL Women sluts!

    Women don’t want nice, decent guys. They want the bad boy, the rich guy. Most of you are users, whores, sluts, gold-diggers, narcissists, self-centered, whiners, man-haters, manipulators, CUNTS! You use your pussies to manipulate and control men, basically. Maybe women need to be the ones to do some changing for once instead of trying to fix men! Ever think of that Ladies?!?! Take your feminist ideas and shove them up your cunts! It’s probably stuffed with something else already, though!

    Have a nice day!


  125. Why are women so baffled by this? It’s pretty obvious who controls sex. Women have always and will always be the ones who control who has sex and when. They use sex to manipulate men, to gain an advantage, they receive benefits.

    Who is the gender that will withhold sex when they don’t get what they want, even in a healthy relationship? Women.

    Which gender expects gifts and other benefits in return for sex? Women.

    Why do you think there are so many female prostitutes and not male? Figure it out people.

    Why are women the ones who hang around athletes, rock stars, actors, and sleep with them only expecting money or gifts in return without a commitment? Again, figure it out.

    If a man walks up to 20 women and asks them all to have sex, he will get slapped and turned down by all of them. If a woman walks up to 20 men and asks for sex, she will have sex with 20 men. Women want to be in control of the sex and often want something in return for it. It is usually done on their terms. Thus, it takes skill for a man and just a pussy for a woman. It’s why the alpha males are having most of the sex when it comes to men as studs. They are the skilled ones and have more to offer a woman (money, power, great looks, etc.).

    Then we have the biological aspect. Men produce millions of spermatozoa per day and have high testosterone levels. This leads to a very high sex drive. Women have 400 cycles in a lifetime and estrogen weakens their sex drive. They have low levels of testosterone as well.

    Women need to be a little more logical and realize men and women are different on so many levels and women do control sex. It is much easier for a woman to find a sex partner than for a male. That’s why this makes perfect sense. It takes skill for a man to get a sex partner, it just takes a pussy and a pulse for a woman.


  126. And I forgot about the control factor. When a relationship is breaking down or someone cares more than the other, who has control? The person who cares less. The one who wants the relationship will jump through hoops and do whatever it takes to save it. The other one has all the control.

    It’s the same with sex. Women control it and men have to be the ones jumping through the hoops for it. We have to wine and dine you, we have to give you the house of your dreams, we have to give you gifts on Valentines Day. If we do something wrong, sex is what’s withheld and use as the power to gain control.

    Men want sex far more, and women, even if they want sex, will act as if she doesn’t want it as much as the man. This is how they use manipulation and control for their benefit when it comes to sex. So if a woman is just giving up the pussy for free, she is the slut. Women control sex every time.

  127. blahbalicious on May 10th, 2010 at 1:15 PM

    Eh, these are very silly and far-fetched rationalizations. In reality it’s just a double standard. Nothing more.


  128. I don’t know whether you are idiotic, uneducated, or simply trying to make people mad.

    If you are not attempting to make a point by affirming the opposite argument, than who gave you this idea? Was it from watching a degenerate male figure? Or are you from a culture that simply disrespects women?

    All of your statements were not only inaccurate, but they were also a double standard (ironic since you complained about women making such accusations). In every post, you addressed women with a negative stereotype while trying to defend a male stereotype.

    Your views on men having “skills” to attain women is pathetic. You basically said that women are mindless property that must be won like a puzzle while at the same time attempting to ascertain that women should know to be monogamous because of their “biological responsibilities” as a mother. Also, why know who the father is?

    I know a child who’s biological father ran out on his mother when she became pregnant. Later, she married another man and conceived a daughter. This man claimed that he would love the boy as his own, but then ignored all responsibilities as a father to both children. In the end, neither of these men proved to be a father to him, and although a father is a wonderful thing to have, it is not necessary. The boy is perfectly healthy, happy, and normal.

    You need to admit that men want to have sex more often and with more people because statistically they usually have a higher sex drive, and usually not for biological reasons, but for psycho-social reasons. If you do not believe me, then please, I beg you, study matrilineal cultures of the world. You’ll be surprised by what you find.

    If you need proof because you simply refuse to believe, than know this. I am a woman who has a much higher sex drive then my male partner, and from what I found out later, than most men in general. My partner often refuses to have sex with me because he’s not in the mood, which although I respect, often leads me to desire sex from other men and masturbation. To make it worse, he has never been able to give me an orgasm and sometimes I even feel foolish for trying.

    Yet, I am monogamous. Are you honestly trying to argue that it is because of how I’m “programmed”? Know this, I am monogamous because like any person in a good relationship, I love my partner beyond sexual reasons. Monogamy is not important to me in the slightest, in fact, I would feel fine about an open marriage, but monogamy is very important to him, and so, I respect his wish and stay faithful. As a result, I have a loving partner who stands by me through thick and thin, constantly supporting me in my decisions, and even tries to understand my sexual needs and works hard to fulfill them…

    And that’s why people are monogamous.

  129. e v i l e d d y on May 19th, 2010 at 1:29 PM

    Hey confused:

    “Your views on men having “skills” to attain women is pathetic. You basically said that women are mindless property that must be won like a puzzle while at the same time attempting to ascertain that women should know to be monogamous because of their “biological responsibilities” as a mother. Also, why know who the father is?”

    What skills do you use as a woman to get sex from men?
    Ever paid for sex?
    How many men have you slept with?


  130. It’s really a waste of time to try and debate any women on here, as evidenced by the above posts. As someone mentioned already, women are unable or unwilling to accept any factual basis when it offends them, they simply disagree or change the topic.

    If we truly wanted to have a useful analysis of sexual behavior of both genders, we would need to survey past sexual behaviors of a sample mixed gender group. This is of course impossible, because few women will reveal their slut-ridden pasts.


  131. Nice post. I heard of this post from a female who “cried” after reading this. However, this argument is gonna be a long standing societal debate. Men want to justify their actions and so will women who want to do “just as men do”. The point, watch out for a female’s perspective on how this post makes absolutely no sense.

  132. Athlone McGinnis on May 20th, 2010 at 7:26 PM

    Ok confused, let’s try to clear things up.

    “Your views on men having “skills” to attain women is pathetic. You basically said that women are mindless property that must be won like a puzzle”

    You contradict yourself. Nobody said or even implied that women were mindless objects. If they were, then nobody would need to claim the need for “skills” (read: Game) to get them. I don’t work to get mindless objects to do what I want. Women have minds, and they are very complex. That is why there are so many blogs and websites out there on the subject. These minds are so complex that a large number ofmen can’t even understand them.
    I know you may disagree with us here, but I just don’t see how making up accusations and putting words in our mouths does your argument any good.

    Furthermore, your argument doesn’t even address the point. We said that women have an easier time getting sex(if that’s all they want) than men do. A female 7 who asks 20 single guys for sex will probably end up screwing 90% of them. A male 7 who tries to pull this would be lucky to get anything, and he’ll have to do a lot more work for any sex he does get.

    Do you disagree with this seemingly obvious fact? If you do not, please provide a counter-argument as to why this is not the case, and why women have to work just as hard as men to get sex(even though men are required to do all of the approaching, asking and convincing in our society).

    I eagerly await your response.

    “while at the same time attempting to ascertain that women should know to be monogamous because of their “biological responsibilities” as a mother. Also, why know who the father is?”

    Women don’t need to know to be monagamous because of this.They’re free to do what they want and no man is going to stop them.

    They just need to know some of the consequences of being loose in youth. Its all good and fun, but you cant have it all. it seems that whenever somebody points out the downsides for girls who behave in “slutty” manners they get shouted down. Why is that?

    You really don’t think these downsides exist?

    “I know a child who’s biological father ran out on his mother when she became pregnant. Later, she married another man and conceived a daughter. This man claimed that he would love the boy as his own, but then ignored all responsibilities as a father to both children. In the end, neither of these men proved to be a father to him, and although a father is a wonderful thing to have, it is not necessary. The boy is perfectly healthy, happy, and normal.”

    I never knew my father either. I turned out pretty well. I can’t call myself happy and/or completely normal, but I got into an ivy league school and play college football. I did ok.

    That doesn’t mean that what you’re saying here isn’t unwise. Fathers are quite necessary in most cases. A society in which there are relatively few fathers is at risk for a number of negative social indicators-its not a good thing, and the statistics(higher rates of criminality/maladjustment among boys without fathers) illustrates this further.

    “You need to admit that men want to have sex more often and with more people because statistically they usually have a higher sex drive, and usually not for biological reasons, but for psycho-social reasons. If you do not believe me, then please, I beg you, study matrilineal cultures of the world. You’ll be surprised by what you find.”

    Please prove that the male sex drive has nothing to do with biology. Source it credibly. I’d love to hear this, because right now this argument just seems like nonsense on stilts.

    “If you need proof because you simply refuse to believe, than know this.”

    You anecdotal experience with one male doesn’t prove anything. By that same token, I am a young black male who came from a single parent household and yet has managed to get into a good school and adjust well. My individual experience does not disprove the fact that single parenthood is more often than not a NEGATIVE sign for a society, and possibly a big reason why the black community in the US has so many issues.

    “And that’s why people are monogamous.”

    Society is monogamous because of civilization. Women are naturally hypergamous(in other words, they commit to one male at a time, but seek out the highest status male at any given time, and a male’s ability to maintain her company often depends on his maintaining the status). Men are naturally polygamous.

    Civilization limits both of these impulses. In a society unrestrained by civilized convention, men would compete with each other for women, all hoping to secure as many as they can. Women would seek out the few who succeeded, and those men would contribute the most genetic material to the next generation. Polygamy is not good for most men(only a few men in polygamous environments actually succeed in attracting many partners, and they leave most men without a partner), nor is it really good for civilization, which is why men are raised to believe in marriage to one woman.

    Women, on the other hand, also had their hypergamous instincts limited. Instead of looking for the highest status male, women were often encouraged in earlier civilization(and sometimes forced by their fathers) to settle for a relationship with a decent guy. He had a good job(maybe a mid level business manager or something like that), was reliable(preferred monogamy and sought marriage, even when relatively young), and generally caring but not necessarily of the highest status. Any qualities on top of this were gravy. Those initial qualities were enough to ensure a good environment for raising kids and to guarantee that the offspring and wife were taken care of.
    Modern dating culture puts fewer limits on these instincts. Females are more fully hypergamous than their grandparents were(dating a few high status young males in large numbers) and young males in general are all aspiring to fully express their polygamous instincts and hook up with as many women as they can(even though only a few are successful at doing this).

    Monogamy as we know it is predominantly a social construct designed to enforce stability. I personally believe in it(I was raised that way and don’t hook up at all), but I’m not under any illusion that this is because of anything other than the fact that the culture I’ve grown up in encourages that.


  133. I just like to comments that judging by these posts it seems like women ONLY complain about double standards when it affects them, they protest all day everyday about these kinds of situation not being equal and so forth, but when the shoe is on the other foot and men get the rough end of stick and they benefit in some cases they stay as quiet as a house mouse for example:

    A woman can physically attack her spouse for whatever reason, and people will generally tend to say, the man either did something to anger her, or he deserved it etc

    But if the man was to commit the same offense he would be labelled a woman beater, domestic violence groups and all sorts would spring to action and bring the rath of hell on him.

    Chris Brown was penalized for hitting Rhianna, and rightly so. However a couple months ago Mary J Blige punched her husband in the face and taunted him at a club and what did some women say…”He deserved it” Double standards anyone? Hmmm

    If women cheat on their husbands/boyfriends, its because he wasn’t there for her or wasn’t affectionate enough “supposedly” or any other slew of reasons. If a man cheats on his wife/girlfriend he’s a dirty rat PERIOD no questions asked. Double Standards Hmmm

    When adverts display male bashing making men out to be buffoons, incompetant or the butt of jokes and women are made out to be superior being that if the reverse was to happen it would be catastrophic, I really don’t see women protesting this point.

    Overall women seem to stay frightenly silent when double standards seem to work out to THEIR advantage. Which is why I don’t see no real reasons for men to give promiscuous women a pass, I mean in the day an age where by divorce is rampant and the corrupt divorce courts overwhelmingly slide in the womens favour, another unequality I don’t see women complaining about, why in gods name is any man going to risk losing his assets, children, wealth, happiness etc to a loose woman reformed or not!

    Despite all the protesting women do about not understanding sluts/studs theory and pretending not to “get it”, women already know that most men don’t like loose women for serious relationship material which is why the numbers game is one of the top things they lie about when they meet a new guy, they just like to argue for the sake of it ;)


  134. American women are really loose and slutty from my own experience.


  135. Women are sluts. Guys too. But at least we’ll admit it. Women will screw a bunch of guys, other women, toys or whatever, and get offended when you call them what they are. they’re pigs.


  136. Instead of women being grateful that they have the freedom to be sluts they are complaining that people are calling them names. The real sluts don’t even care that people think they are sluts and embrace the fact that they are and all the negativity that comes with it. It’s always the women who aren’t sluts that want to come to the defense of sluts. I dont get it? Perhaps they are secretly sluts or are thinking about becoming one. Like past people have said it’s also mainly other girls who call other girls sluts. Sometimes it’s not because they really are a slut, but because they simply jealous. If you aren’t a slut and someone calls you one you should be smart enough to realize they are only saying it because they are bitter.

    I also don’t get how this is mens fault that there is a stigma to being a slut. Most guys arent openly hostile to sluts and are in fact nice to them even though they dont respect them because of how easy they are. Its other women who are openly hostile to you because you truly are a slut or because they are jealous and that’s just the way it is.

    One last thing, even if us men were to start telling you good job for being a slut, the stigma is not going anywhere because men nor women deep down respect a slut, just like neither a man or a women respects a low status man who is a virgin for obvious reasons. It’s funny because while other women come to slut’s defense on a daily basis us men never back up our fellow men who don’t have much success with women. I guess because we are in constant competition with each other and a man who can’t snag himself a women just means more for us.


  137. Bob i agree with you man…YOUR ARTICLE MAKE A LOT OF SENSE…A LOT OF WOMEN WILL DISAGREE ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE WOMEN BUT EVERYTHING YOU STATED IS BASED ON FACTS SO WOMEN STOP FUCKING AROUND, AT LEAST FOR SELF RESPECT..YOU WILL NEVER BE MEN,OR LIKE MEN AND THE ENTIRE QUEST OF TRYING TO BE LIKE US IS JUST PROOF THAT YOU RECOGNIZE THAT YOU ARE NOT LIKE US…SO STOP IT AND LISTEN TO MY MAN!!!


  138. Because men must have something going for them other then there bodies may it be money are status it takes a great deal of carisma and skill
    for your average male to score while all it takes for the typical female is a gorgeous body and face


  139. not every woman is like any of the stereotypes presented here, just as not every man is what the so-called “feminists” think men are. true, there are some truly dirty women and men, but there are people of both sexes who are good people. some of those good people are not “gorgeous” or anything of that sort, they are as plain as a piece of paper, but have the most magnificent personality. not every woman who is deemed a “slut” is comfortable with her label, maybe she didn’t get enough attention as a child, maybe no one ever showed her where true beauty lies. who knows, but who cares? that’s her personal business if she needs to have sex with 20+ men. if she’s not your type, DON’T DATE HER. you are under no obligation to date or even hook up with a woman who is called a slut.
    true beauty is on the inside.
    sure, sexual attraction is most likely all physical, but why should we let society or even our generation be labeled as sluts and studs.
    sluts and studs don’t make up the population, as i said before, there are good people out there who aren’t only looking for sex. some people are looking for companionship, and unlike polygamy or polygyny, competition.

    black arrow, you said: “I mean in the day an age where by divorce is rampant and the corrupt divorce courts overwhelmingly slide in the womens favour, another unequality I don’t see women complaining about, why in gods name is any man going to risk losing his assets, children, wealth, happiness etc to a loose woman reformed or not!”
    just so you know, this doesn’t always happen. there are many ways that the dice are rolled in divorce court. if you’ve never been divorced, or that particular situation hasn’t happened in your family, don’t be so quick to shout of uneducated “facts”. your entire post was the same complaining that you’re condemning. and fyi, it’s “inequality”, “unequality” isn’t a word.

    i guess i’m just trying to point out that there are good people out there, and all of the stereotypes discussed also come with upsets. you people are all complaining about something, a double standard, etc, but what you don’t realize as you tear each other to pieces is that there is so much more to life than arguing over frivolous details, or some man’s post. obviously, it’s his opinion. you can all have different opinions, but share them! don’t yell out all of the profanities that you know. don’t condemn the other sex. we all have to live together, we can’t let the world slip into this attitude.

    oh and jeff, the dude who posted this: “For those women who are too stupid to understand what I wrote, let me explain in even simpler terms:” and this: “Women don’t want nice, decent guys. They want the bad boy, the rich guy. Most of you are users, whores, sluts, gold-diggers, narcissists, self-centered, whiners, man-haters, manipulators, CUNTS! You use your pussies to manipulate and control men, basically. Maybe women need to be the ones to do some changing for once instead of trying to fix men! Ever think of that Ladies?!?! Take your feminist ideas and shove them up your cunts! It’s probably stuffed with something else already, though!”

    i think you got all the bad and offensive words in your personal dictionary out of your system.. but are you a woman? i don’t think so. who are you to say that “women don’t want nice, decent guys”? maybe all the women you’ve met are like that, but why don’t you surround yourself with people you don’t hate?


  140. oops, i meant this in the first paragraph, last sentence:
    some people are looking for companionship, and unlike polygamy or polygyny, not competition.


  141. A lot of the posts on here might seem true in theory, but ignore the complexity of choices made by individuals of both sexes in the modern world.

    For instance, most of the posts here assume that women are not deterred by men with high numbers of sexual partners, in fact equating male promiscuity with ‘alpha’ status. The truth is that most young men who dedicate excessive attention to getting laid all the time are far from alphas and while they my pick up loads of trashy sluts (and their stds), they are unlikely to be successful in the more mundane game of Capitalism.

    On the contrary, most women who are mature and intelligent enough to be successful mothers will be revolted by men who have slept with 30 or more women. Even if they do fantasize about the Brad Pitts of the world, women don’t all sleep with the most promiscuous males – this is reserved for the trashy sluts or young and impressionable girls whostill have to learn some tough lessons.

    Most females will leave the ‘meat market’ younger than males and so even though they were able to have sex more easily, they probably have fewer sex partners than males who fail to be as promiscuous as they would like to be.

    For those guys out there who hate women because they have had bad experiences and are convinced it is because they are not ‘alpha’ males, just remember that all those years of evolution gave us the gift of reflection and the ability to transcend our primal instincts. If you really want to sleep with the most desirable women and you lack the social skills or status to achieve that in a bar, then spend your money on high-class prostitutes.

    And for the ladies who think it is unfair that they are called sluts when they are promiscuous? Start paying for sex if you really just want sex, The truth is that you probably have an unsatisfying life and rather than just sex (like you could get from a prostitute) you are looking to exploit your sexual power at the expense of a fellow human being. A female slut is abusing power in a similar way to a male rapist, but her power is emotional rather than physical.

    In a nutshell, men who are sexual predators are equally as unattractive to intelligent and wise females as female sluts are to intelligent and wise males.
    Furthermore, men who think promiscuity makes them ‘alpha’ males almost always deceive themselves about the quality of the females involved in their conquests and end up being the big losers in a capitalist society. Lastly, sluts and the sexual predators are despised because they exploit and harm other humans – men and women often feel safe as sexual predators or sluts, until they are ‘outed’ and then they are all alone and none of their fair-weather friends wants to be tarred with same brush as their life descends into tragedy.


  142. It’s been my observation that the biggest slut shamers are women. The likely reason is that sluts lower the asking price for sex. They make it very hard on women who don’t want to put out too quickly. I saw it in particular at university. Women don’t want to go 4 years without a relationship, but they are competing with so many sluts that they have to put out a lot quicker than they’d like and they almost invariably get pumped and dumped.


  143. (Male) sluts are for (female) sluts and pure men are for pure women. Now a slut can’t blame another slut for promiscuity, irrespective of gender- the act (sexual intercourse) is still one and the same. It’s kind of like a thief calling out another for his theft.

    And who on earth would accept a walking STD bomb as a partner? Eww.

    As for the authour of this article, I find it funny that you argue the case of polygyny from a evolutionist point of view, yet dismiss polyandry from a moral bias point of view. In fact when men are aware that women have several to choose from and can have multiple partners depending on their resources and physical health, they’ll start to compete with each other, thus improving themselves and becomming more desirable on a large scale. Now if women only could raise the bar a little :/

    PS.: I do not condone sleeping around, be it male or female and find it quite ignoble and a sign of utter lack of restraint- very much like animals, except that animals do not have an intellect, so they are at least excused for this lowly behaviour.


  144. Women sleep for different reasons comparing to men. Many women feel they would be rejected if they didn’t put out. So, they kind of have to sleep to stay with men if they don’t want to be rejected. If men were committed to women without sex, then women would be much less promiscuous.
    And who knows why men reject women if she doesn’t put out.


  145. Maybe the reason men justify it’s okay for men but not women is that they need lots of practice — could explain why most of them are so lousy at it.


  146. As a man, I don’t believe in calling women sluts, because I don’t like to be called a ho.(where I’m from women actually call men this and it’s not good) The point is some of us know how to get women and some of us don’t. Example- my best friend is way more good looking than me(women have told me so) but I have had sex with far more women than him and he’s into getting laid just as much as I am. It all deals with personality. I have the chicks laughing all night long and normally I will have my pick out of a couple of them because they are interested in me. Yes, I did say I get to pick! I try to tell my friends that women who sleep around are not sluts, they just know what they want and they are go getters. I respect that. Some of my friends do believe in calling women sluts. There are a lot of women who I had just a sexual relationship with actually school me on a lot of things I didn’t know. So yes some of the women yall call sluts actually have a brain, and after sex some pillow talk will prove that! I just love women and I have mad respect for them. It’s a respect thing yall and from what I have been reading, a lot of men can’t respect that a woman has this tendency to know what she want and go out and get it.
    And most women I know don’t want to get pregnant. They have the condoms with them! That’s a turn on to me when a woman has protection with her. And not only that, they take their pill, shot, on the regular to prevent pregnancy. Yes their are gold diggers out there who want to have a baby and take out child support, but you can usually spot them out with just a little conversation. Basically real women don’t want to cause harm by having babies and stuff. They tell me “it’s 2010, we need men who are going to be in the babies life”. Wow, I love women so much!
    And yes we are programmed to have sex more, but when it comes down to it, coming is such a great feeling for men and women! I mean we all have orgasms right. I had this one chick to skeet all over the place when she came. So I can definately understand why she would want to have sex as much as possible. It must feel really good to her in order to produce that kind of cum! Sex is fun and should be enjoyed by everyone as much as possible for both men and women without the women being called sluts.
    So to sum it up, people sex is sex. No one should have the upper hand to bash a woman because she enjoys it. We should all have respect for women, whether she’s had 1 or 100 partners. She has more that she could share with you if you would allow yourself to think about more than just how many partners she’s been with. If you get hurt by a woman, don’t take it personal. She just haven’t matured yet. We as men hurt women all the time, but women have this get up and get over it attitude, and I love them for it. We as men need to stop worrying about, “what if she hurt me?” Oh well, get up and get over it. There are millions of women out here, get out of your small town, travel and meet some of them. Trust me, its so much fun when you can loosen up, and have fun! I know some will say I took a left turn away from the topic, but this was a point of view that really didn’t need to be published. That’s all it is, a point of view ladies. Yall have my respect and if I ever end the relationship I’m in now I will post my number, because I love yall and I wanna talk to you. Once again, I LOVE WOMEN!!


  147. A key that opens many locks is a master key
    A lock thats opened by many keys is a shitty lock

    hope it clears this up


  148. People are not locks nor keys. It is more immoral to lie to someone to get what you want than it is to have sex with someone who is more than willing. I just don’t get the point of view that just because men have to lie and pretend that it somehow makes it okay for them that is called being a player. There are some men that can do it without lying and are just be upfront about what they are all about — at least they are honest about being dogs. Not all men nor all women can get sex with the same ease as other men or women. So are we grading on a sliding scale?


  149. I love women. Y’all aren’t keys or sluts. I love each and everyone of you!


  150. i suppose, as “caleb” posted earlier. its about getting out of the small towns and cul de sacs of our lives. to cure these sexual frustrations with ourselves and others. it seems, all over towns and cities. in the usual kinds of pubs and clubs. people are reluctant to venture out of their groups. if talking to women wasnt full of so many annoyances from her friends (the girls with her who dont approve and drag her away, before she’s even made her mind up. or the guys shes with, who’ll convieniently try to stop you holding conversation. ie “cockblockers”, as we call them). i think, alot of these attitudes from most guys would disperse. so, those guys lacking the confidence to talk to women. understand that even with all the balls or charm in the world. if you’re in the wrong place and time. it may not add to anything, anyway. and these “grouping” situations breed alot of the rumours and the rubbish that lead to all this labeling, anyway. not that we should expell all of our friends. but I really do think, in this society. we really need to be less scared to actually SOCIALISE with strange, new people. and sometimes it may even lead to the sexual gratification that we crave so much.


  151. I feel ya “fella” on what you are saying. I hate when chicks/men cockblock. If the lady is really feeling you though, you have to find a way for you two to get away from the clique and conversate. You have to make the most of the convo because the cockblockers will sure enough come to her “rescue” soon. But if she’s mature she will know how to handle her friends. If she still let them decide for her, then would you really want to pursue such an immature person? Yes, when you are with a group of people the convo can lead to rumors and rubbish. But I use the time we are together to school my friends too. A lot of the rumors could be put in check while in a group if a person like myself start debating the norm. The key is socializing. You never know who you will meet if you step outside the box. My girl and me are living proof of that. I just knew my girl was too “high class” for me, but I took a chance and I got a chance. Now, I got shot down by many other women because they did feel like they were better than me and I couldn’t do nothing for them because of the way I looked. But you can’t let them get you down. My old professor told me “if you can’t take rejection, you can’t make it in the world”. Truth.


  152. agreed. and it is tough being a low earner, when nearing your thirties. or further still. there was a time when i seemed to have alot more to say for myself, about myself. but when you’re stuck between where you’ve been and where u want to be in life. it’s hard not to dry up in conversation. its strange. there are women, i know in my life who are intrested in me. but i have no serious interest in them. And i believe its because, im not yet satisfied in myself. or where i think i want to be. basically, the idea of a serious relationship doesnt feel like a constructive thing. at least for now. And these women, simply arent attractive to me. my friends girlfriends are. because they’re beautiful people, who understand me. And i almost wish that the closeness of good friends was enough. but its hard not to twitch when you’re on the town and all the beautiful people look so happy. ive been a very foolish man. wanting what others appear to have. but at the same time, pushing it away. some people say that im good looking. but id trade that in to appear less intense, less intimidating and comfortable in myself. there it is! a confessional. from a confused and angry man of the times. the point being. if anything i say rings true for you. then, thats where you keep fucking it all up!


  153. Robbing a bank is immoral, but it takes skills. Stealing candy from a baby is immoral, but it’s so easy. Guys rob banks. Girls steal candy. This follows from the presumption that promiscuity is immoral. Whatever, let’s not debate on that. But you get the point of the analogy right?


  154. You are an idiot.


  155. Robbing a bank is immoral, but it takes skills. Stealing candy from a baby is immoral, but it’s so easy.

    (Too funny) Using this analogy — the Judge would be high-fiving the bank robbers and sentencing the candy from babies bandits to 25 years in prison. They both are immoral — just as it’s equally immoral for both men and women to be sleeping around.


  156. JustAChick, please learn to read. What Analogy meant was that it’s hard to rob a bank. It takes skills to do such. But it’s still frowned upon. At least, in some circles, promiscuity is ethically erroneous.

    Stealing candy from a baby is clearly not as immoral as robbing a bank…but it’s so easy.

    All analogies are imperfect. So let’s not drag in consequences/trials.


  157. JustAGuy — no need to get defensive — just thought it was funny — learn to have a sense of humor. I know the analogies are not perfect.


  158. Women have desires too and we should be able to express them. If promiscuity should be prevented, it should be prevented in both sexes. All is fair in love and war. Period. No better logic. Humans have sexual drives, and female sexual drive should not be repressed. This author is yet another prime example of failed contraception. I feel sorry for his mom.


  159. What the fuck??? was i the only one who read what bob said?? you go to hell bob! your an abusive douche


  160. If you are frustrated because of a lack of sexual options, why don’t you look at the bigger picture? I’m a sexual woman, but I have to limit my options when it comes to sleeping with people or my reputation will be ruined and NO ONE will sleep with me. So whenever I do decide to have a fling, it has to be the best possible male in order for me to not be judged for it. If the man was ugly, or fat, I would be judged for it, labeled as ‘easy’. I get judged by my friends, male and female, for sleeping with the cute shy skinny nerds… they accuse me of ‘pity-fucking’, which is not true at all.

    I have a boyfriend now, so I haven’t slept with anyone besides him for nearly a year. If I wasn’t with him, though, I would sleep with people very rarely. Before meeting the boyfriend, I would have been happy having a fling every now and then. But would society be okay with that? No, so I don’t do it. What if women didn’t have to worry about that? What if women could be open about their sexuality and have more partners more regularly, with the same respect as men who are highly sexual? Wouldn’t that be to the benefit of both the sexes?

    Come on. More sex for everyone!


  161. Being promiscuous that’s a big word wow if are going to be promiscuous we need to get rid of sexually transmitted diseases unfortunately that is easier said than done as for sleeping around. I will just say it. Having multiple sex partners and see nothing wrong with it the church does religious freaks to the medical profession kind of does carry for medical reasons. For all of course, they also condone males being circumcised for purely medical reasons as for calling women. Those names I would never consider doing it for the simple reason that I call them those kind of names in essence. I am calling myself those same exact names women are beautiful when they have no makeup or clothes on it is wonderful to touch them fondle them caress them and embrace each other they are both beautiful and sensuous and extremely desirable the only thing that really puzzles me is what attracts them to me because when I look in the mirror I only see me and I have had no shortage of women possibly it’s because they can sense that I am one hell of a horny bastard. Or maybe because I’m a bit of a daredevil and enjoy walking a fine line as a counselor I had once said to me is sitting on the fence. Something I fall off of it I haven’t yet that is over 40 years ago it’s fun doing crazy and insane things, and the pleasure one one gets from surviving there are always fun things to do conquer your fears so that you can enjoy being alive and we as men need to truly learn how to appreciate and enjoy women.
    Ralph


  162. @Ralph, I don’t know what attracts women to you either, but judging by your kindergarten-level writing skills, it’s safe to say that it’s not your level of intelligence. LOL!


  163. to “mj”. you’re fear of being judged comes back to what ive said. about social groups and not enough willingness to venture beyond. possibly? if the only reson you dont sleep with more guys (hypothetically. if you were single, for agrument’s sake) is of fear of judgement. then, you’re not holding true to yourself. or your argument for more promiscuity.

    I agree tho. but ive come to know that being honest with a woman, wont get a guy laid. i’d love to be able to say “hey. how’s it going? look, you’re the most desirable woman to notice me tonight. so, would you like to come home with me. we’ll have excellent pillow talk, after sex. and i’ll make you breakfast in the morning. and maybe, we might want to hang out again. but you’re gorgeous. and my design as a highly sexed male is screaming to take you to bed. and i dont wanna go home alone or with someone i dont fancy. and hate myself either way for selling out or not being slick enough to tell you all the right things that turn you on. I’m nice. I’m a good lover. but i’m just tired of playing the game. know what i mean?”

    doesnt turn a girl on. but if it did. most of us would be fine. the ladies too. and we’d all have a great time. having more sex and being ourselves. and free of all these stupid societal constructs.


  164. A lot has to do with social stigmas. For men it’s more accepted to cheat because they are still perceived as ‘hunters’ and ‘providers’, while women are caregivers and should be there for their husband and family. It will take a long time for society to accept that women can be hunters too. In fact, in some civilizations, it’s women who work on the field and men who take care of the children.


  165. I have never heard suck bullshit in my fucking life, guys arent wired for it, oh wait big difference between a guy and a man, a man will wait for one a guy will fuck anything with a vagina and a pulse, this is how our society descided to look at it BULL FUCKING SHIT!


  166. I think this whole thing is pointless. For one, nobody is really arguing from a purely logical standpoint, everybody is using emotion, moral conviction, or personal opinion. To make a valid point you must argue from a viewpoint void of these elements. Secondly arguing the differences between men and women is like arguing the differences between apples and oranges, or cats and dogs it’s POINTLESS. They all have their difference and they all have their similarities.
    It doesn’t make sense to try and make them equal because they just aren’t. They never were. They never will be. It’s the same with men and women. No matter how much you try to pretend, men and women will NEVER be 100% equal. The thing is for there to be 100% gender equality in our society everybody has to be the SAME gender. That’ll never happen because that’s not what nature intended.
    Honestly at the end of the day nobody is going to change. Men will still be called studs and women sluts. Stop being so sensitive to what others think of you and embrace who you are. Slut or not. Well just felt like getting that off my chest. Until next time. PEACE.


  167. Oh yeah one more thing. If it wasn’t for the fact that all women want commitment they wouldn’t give two flying fucks about being sluts. The common stigma is that men don’t like sluts. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. MEN LOVE SLUTS…just not as wives and girlfriends. They don’t RESPECT sluts. That’s why all the women (specifically sluts) are upset. A man can fuck loads of women which is perceived as a challenge therefore he gets respect. Since it’s relatively easy for women to get sex it isn’t perceived as a challenge therefore no respect is granted and some respect is actually lost. Since no man want’s to commit to a woman he doesn’t respect that presents a problem for the sluts because they desire commitment later on. That leaves only two solutions to the problem. Lie about their past or get men to change their views on sluts telling them they’re being “sexist” “chauvinists” and so on and so forth. Truth is you actions have consequences. If they’re not desirable then take another course of action. In other words stop being sluts or STOP FUCKING COMPLAINING!


  168. Well let’s see our society says there are good girls and bad girls so unfortunately good girls do not know how to perform in the bedroom or other assorted places such as the kitchen table or a public park or some other place.
    On the other hand the lady that is a bad girl knows how to please her man in a variety of ways and places. Besides what fun is life if you can not be promiscuous and sensuous I will take a promiscuous lady any time.


  169. Okay, this debacle of a comments section has gone on enough. It just goes in circles and goes nowhere but never dies. Comments closed.