The Reader Letters #1 Series – The Case Against Studying Seduction


A while back I got an email asking for advice. It was from a guy, Bill, who had asked me for advice in the past and wanted to follow up some time later. It was about his girl problems, along with a question about whether or not he should study seduction techniques.

Hello T,

I don’t know whether or not you remember me, I sent you an email quite some time ago asking for advice with a girl who was trying to ruin my life, after asking for some more information you got back to me telling me that she most likely had a narcissistic personality disorder.  I know it has been a long time, but it looks like, I once again am having woman troubles, I don’t know what to do about it.  All of this is me once again asking for help.

I started dating her awhile back, and the relationship burned hot and fast.  Part of the reason it burned so fast was that I was caught up in my emotions and allowing them to rule my actions.  I became a very jealous boyfriend, not to mention protective.  Eventually she broke things off with me, citing that we were too good friends, and she loved me, but “Not in the way you want me to love you.”  For awhile I didn’t talk to her after that, trying to get my own emotions under control, until one day she started texting and calling me again, acting totally normal, just wanting to be friends.  As it turned out we have become best friends, however, I still couldn’t quite get it out of my head that I wanted to be with her in a physical, romantic relationship, as opposed to this platonic relationship.  By best friends I should elaborate to say we shared pretty much everything, talking all of the time, hanging out at movies, telling each other everything, things like that.  Recently she has started seeing another guy, and I went damn near crazy with jealousy.  The thing about the guy is that he is a player, and I know it, I am not just jumping to conclusions either, I knew it well before he started seeing my ex, and I have also talked to women he has been with.  I can say that this guy is not afraid to play the numbers game, though for him it seems the numbers game is all about quantity, and not about quality at all.  Also, when she started seeing this guy, I attempted to cut all ties with her, for the sake of both of our sanities.  She is the one who reinitiated conversation, and broke down at the thought of no longer being friends.

Like last time I am willing to answer any and all questions you might have.  I am just hoping for some solid advice, which you always seem to give.  I have gotten the entire gamut of advice from friends, ranging from just leave her, to she will come back to you after she is done with him.

On a total side-note, I would also like to ask your opinion of the PUA community as discussed in the book The Game by Neil Strauss.  And made famous by the peacocking Mystery.

My response to him was very in-depth, and led to a series of posts that became known as The Reader Letters #1 series. I link to all the installments of it below:

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