The Myth of the Middle Class Alpha, Part 6

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 3.5
The Interlude
Part 4
Part 5

Some of the myopic and vision-impaired among you have been complaining that they can’t see the practical use of this series. This final installment will make it clearer for you.

Before we get started, let me get one thing out of the way that you should keep in mind throughout this article. Although I say being a pure alpha can be a bad thing in this society because modern society is so rigged against excessive alpha behavior, make no mistake about it, if you have to be excessive it’s definitely better to be too alpha than be too beta.

Now that we got that out of the way, I want to introduce you to the alpha fallacies.

The Alpha Fallacies

  1. Everything good a modern man can be must represent an alpha trait.
  2. Everything that represents an alpha trait must represent something good for a modern man to be.

These differences between these fallacies are subtle, but they aren’t exactly the same.  However both play a big role in much of the confusion men have when they debate idealized manhood.

The point of this whole series has been to point out why these two fallacies are actually fallacies, especially for middle-class men. For middle-class men in modern society, the best response to take in many scenarios is often the beta response.  And for middle-class men in modern society, many alpha traits can also be extremely counterproductive and even self-destructive.

Alpha Dissonance

Modern developed, monogamous societies are set up so that a model man is one that is not excessively alpha, and such societies are set up to curb any excessively alpha displays by use of alpha proxies.  (See part 4, linked above)  Alpha proxies aren’t limited to just governmental bodies but also social norms, etiquette, media mesages, public opinion and modern customs.  Our society has set us up to believe being alpha is the best thing for a modern man can be and that all things great about modern men are automatically alpha traits, yet at the same time our society discourages and punishes men the moment they engage in any excessively alpha behavior, whether it’s growing a harem (look at Tiger’s shaming), monopolizing resources (antitrust laws), engaging in fistfights (look at Ronnie’s arrest on “Jersey Shore”) or murders of romantic rivals along with other brutal, aggressive and domineering aspects of alpha male behavior.  These conflicting messages society sends us where alphaness seems simultaneously celebrated and encouraged yet is punished and discouraged creates what I call alpha dissonance.

Here’s an example of alpha dissonance.  A reader named Alpha Male left this comment in response to part 4:

My definition of an alpha male is really parallel to that of a leader and any truly great leader is not a jackhole.

Here we see the alpha fallacy #1 in play.  Modern men are discouraged from being assholes.  In fact, being an asshole can be very counterproductive, especially if you are a middle-class man, because if you do it on the job the good employees under you will leave the company and the supervisors above you may view you as a liability because of the sexual harassment and employment discrimination suits they can get hit with (again, note the use of an alpha proxy at play to level the playing field, in this case the legal system and courts).  Also, if you as a middle-class guy are an asshole in a social situations, even if you’re a leader among your peers, it can really backfire against you, because you’re not so poor that you have nothing to lose and no fear of consequences, and you are not so powerful you can just thumb your nose at the rules and buy yourself an out.

Therefore if you get too assholish the cops can beat you and lock you up, you can get hit with a criminal record that follows you around forever, you can get sued in a civil court and lose all your resources if the judge rules against you, you can lose your job and community social standing, you can win and court and still lose most of your resources through expensive legal fees and so on and so on.

So we learn from numerous examples and social conditioning that it pays nowadays for a man not to be an asshole even as a leader, especially if he’s middle-class.  Yet many of us also believe the alpha fallacy that everything good for a modern man is automatically an alpha trait.  Therefore a man will reconcile this dissonance by declaring that part of being an alpha male leader must also mean not being an asshole.

This however is not true at all.  Coming up with bad definitions like this is an example of what I call alpha rationalization.

Alpha Rationalization

This comes about when a man is faced with the alpha dissonance that comes from the alpha fallacies not matching up to reality.

Using the previous example: Not being an asshole has nothing to do with being alpha.  If an alpha male feels like being an asshole, he’ll be an asshole plain and simple.  If he doesn’t feel like being an asshole, he won’t.  The only constant in the alpha male’s behavior is dominating and feeling entitled and correct in doing whatever the fuck it is he wants to do at any given time. You think Genghis Khan and Attila the Hun were worried about leading without being assholes?  Or Napoleon?  Or John Gotti?  Or Bumpy Johnson?  Or Julius Caesar? Or Pablo Escobar?

The freedom of a man to engage in truly unrestrained alpha behavior is directly related to how free he is to not cooperate with alpha proxies, either because they don’t exist in his environment or he’s found a way to exploit them.  The rest of us in modern society, especially in the middle-class, are forced to strike a balance between being as alpha as we can while being beta enough to fly under the radar of the various alpha proxies around us.  In  other words, being a Renaissance, or Evolved, Man.

The commenter Alpha Male realizes that it’s good for a modern man to be a leader yet not an asshole.  But because he also believes the fallacy that everything good a modern man can be must automatically be called alpha, he has incorrectly rationalized that being a leader who is not an asshole is part of the definition of alpha male.

Many men giving advice out there, because of alpha fallacy #1, are polluting the minds of confused men with alpha rationalizations like the following:

  • Alpha males are always valuable, upstanding citizens who always “give back”
  • Alpha males always leave women better than they found them
  • Alpha males always smile and create good feelings in everyone around them
  • Alpha males are the most well-educated and intelligent
  • Alpha males motivate through inspiration and positivity rather than fear and bullying
  • Alpha males are morally superior
  • Alpha males are great team players
  • Alpha males sincerely love women (they may not have bitter sour grapes or judgmental, resentful attitude toward them that beta males do, but they don’t necessarily have to love them either)

Even though an alpha male can choose to be any of these things if he wants, none of them are mandatory for being considered alpha.  All that an alpha male needs to be considered alpha is to dominate and to be unafraid to do and say what he wants when he wants.  Whether he is empathic or sociopathic or whether uses these traits for good or evil is irrelevant to whether or not he is alpha.

In addition, there are plenty of times in modern developed society where alpha fallacy #2 comes into play and we discover that the most alpha response is the worst response one can take in response to a problem, especially when going head to head with alpha proxies.  Ask Rodney King or Ronnie from “Jersey Shore.”  Even though it’s a fictional example, watch the movie Scarface to see alpha fallacy #2 in action as well.  At almost every step in the game Tony Montana does the most alpha response possible.  At first it carries him far, but eventually it backfires and leads to his undoing because he hits points where he needs to humble himself or choose his battles wisely and he is just too alpha to accept that.

Alpha Anxiety

Alpha anxiety is the state most modern men currently exist in thanks to a lack of understanding of what modern society is.  Alpha anxiety comes when men are unfamiliar with concepts described in this Middle-Class Alpha Male series such as the Leviathan, alpha proxies, renegade alpha suppression and renaissance men.  Alpha anxiety comes  when men are exposed to media messages that celebrate being as alpha as fuck, for example heroes in action movies, yet at the same time are given examples of the consequences of acting too alpha at any given time (for example jail, ruined reputation, or lawsuits).   Alpha anxiety comes from having to constantly trying to create rationalizations for the dissonance that comes from reconciling the alpha fallacies with reality in modern developed, monogamous societies.

Alpha anxieties is why people are getting rich creating self-help products advising men on how to be men.  Alpha anxiety is why men’s insecurity buttons are easier to push than ever before.  Alpha anxiety is why so many men are currently clueless about human nature and what women want and how to seduce them.  Alpha anxiety is what creates this guilt or shame in men whenever they feel their response to a problem was inadequately alpha, even though logically they understand that in our society the most alpha response would have likely caused more harm than good.

And the point of this whole series Myth of the Middle-Class Alpha Male has to been both to explain to people how this current state of alpha anxiety came about and to make men realize that they don’t need to carry around this alpha anxiety anymore.  To realize that the alpha fallacies are just that: fallacies.  And that men not only shouldn’t feel bound by them but also realize that they’re often counterproductive and can impede their progress to becoming the ideal men for their modern era and middle-class environment.  And also to put the renaissance/evolved man advice in a larger context and explain why it’s not exactly the same as an alpha male.

For further reading, I recommend looking at a blog I recently found where the author Athol Kay actually shares my philosophy about how modern middle-class male life actually requires a blend of alphadom and betadom rather than being pure alpha, especially this post.

And this post.

Final Thoughts On Feminism

In part 5 of this series, I explained how feminism came about and how it related to the rise of the lower-status male.  As usual, many people assumed that because I was describing something, I was actually passing judgment on it.  In this case, a lot of guys thought I was joining in on the whole “feminism is evil and the world would be better for men if we abolished it” bandwagon.

I actually don’t think like this.  Feminism has its problems if you totally buy into it 100% because many of its fundamental tenets rely on delusions about human nature, but I think it actually can be helpful so long as you understand what it’s really about, don’t buy into it wholeheartedly, and retain a basic understanding of human behavior and sexual dynamics no matter what.

Assanova gives great insights in two blog posts about how feminism can be helpful to men once they get hip to the game:

Why I Love Feminism

How Feminism Benefits You

That’s it, all done.  And for those who haven’t been enjoying this series, be happy because it’s all done and we’re moving on to lighter topics for a while.