Whenever I have a concept I think I’ll end up revisiting often, I’m going to create a separate entry for it so that I can refer to it easily in future posts without having to reexplain it in depth every time to new readers.
The three-step model to mastery is what I described in the Limitations of Knowledge Series:
- Know the truth (mental level)
- Feel the truth (emotional level)
- Live the truth (physical level)
The knowledge stage is the fastest and easiest to grasp. Mastering the feeling and physical stages can take much longer however, years even.
In the actual series I give plenty of examples and go into more depth, but here are two more examples anyway. Let’s say you were once an obese woman, and then you lose a dramatic amount of weight and are now hot. People tell you you’re hot. You turn heads now. You know what your new dress or waist size is when you go shopping, so you now know you’re skinny. Yet when you’re interacting with someone you’re incredibly attracted too, you self-sabotage. You think there’s no way this person can really be attracted to you. You know the truth of your new weight, but you still feel like a fat person, therefore even though you may be able to fake it during low-stakes moments, you act with low self-esteem at pivotal high-stake moments.
The other example: you’re a guy who was a broke low-status guy for most of his life until you graduated college and started advancing in your career. For most of your life you were the one hot women weren’t attracted to. They’d put you in the friend zone while they told you sob stories about all the assholes that were pumping and dumping them. You’d get many of your advances rejected by pretty women, often in soul-crushing ways. Now you know you have status. Your job tells you so. So does your business card. And your apartment and neighborhood. And the reactions you get from others. Yet when you get a pretty woman in your life, you freeze up still and self-sabotage. You tell yourself she doesn’t really like you sexually and just wants to be friends, despite all the evidence to the contrary. When you do land a pretty girl, you act too needy, low status and scared of rejection whenever the relationship hits a bump. Although you know and intellectually grasp your current status, you still feel the old status and act accordingly.
Many recurring self-sabotaging tendencies you have stem from a disconnect somewhere in the 3-Step Mastery Model.