Open Thread: Two Questions

I’m working out some concepts in my head, and I wanted some feedback from readers.

The keys to manipulation and emotional blackmail, in my opinion can be broken down to 5 big “buttons.”

  • Fear
  • Shame
  • Anger
  • Pride
  • Guilt

Manipulators, whether in the form of enemies or loved ones, have to push these buttons in order to get us to do what they want. Once you learn to recognize when these 5 emotions are getting triggered in you, your relationships change dramatically. (I think this is why the concept of mindfulness is so in vogue lately in the West, as it promises to enable practitioners to recognize what emotions are arising, while they’re arising.)

Can you guys think of any more? I’m talking about big, generalĀ buttons, not specific smaller buttons that can fit under the category of the bigger buttons, or buttons that are just alternate forms of the buttons I already named. For example, I considered adding “jealousy” as a button, but I think that jealousy and envy may be a combination of shame and pride, so I omitted it. I also considered depression, but a popular definition of depression is anger directed at oneself, so it still ends up counting as anger. I’m looking for the equivalent of primary colors (colors that can’t be broken down into smaller component colors).

Also, if anyone reading has read a book based on my recommendations, or has a book to discuss that I haven’t already mentioned no the blog, please share your feedback. I don’t care if you loved or hated the book, I want to hear from you either way. Just give specific reasons why, not just things like “it sucked because it was too common sense.” Give examples and rationales.

Posting will be slow for a few weeks as I’m planning out the direction of the next 6 months of posts and the best post order to accomplish what I want to say. Plus I’m taking a vacation to Montreal. I’ll still answer comments and you can find me on Twitter. Plus my Tumblr page will continue to be updated four times a day.