The Rawness

First off, a little mood music:

((“Wonderwall” by Ryan Adams))

Musclebound pervert/comedic blogging genius VK came up with an awesome idea for a theme week of blog posts featuring posts from Roissy, VK, DC Hero, Roosh and yours truly. The theme is Perfect Woman Week. Roissy kicked it off Monday and killed it on the spiritual poetry tip. VK followed up on Tuesday, pulled a head fake and a crossover dribble and shocked us all with his romantic sensitivity. And today is my turn. How the fuck do I follow after that? I can’t compete with those touching posts, so I’m going to take it in the opposite direction and show my age with a good old-fashioned angry, yet hopefully constructive rant.

I’m not single anymore, which means I’ve stopped searching for the perfect woman because I feel I’ve gotten as close as I’m going to get to that. And I’m also 33, which means my expectations are totally different than what they were when I was younger. Like most men, my standards for the perfect woman changed as I aged. They started off low at around 16-18 when the perfect woman was basically any girl that had a pulse and would agree to have sex with me (and honestly, I think if push came to shove the pulse would have been optional). That was the sheer quantity stage. I didn’t care if she looked like Monica Bellucci or Monica Seles. The standards changed again in my late 20s when my game really started sharpening, I started making better money and I started to realize I was a prize. That was when I really started demanding more from women in the looks, personality and ambition departments. But after a lot of dating in the big city, you reach the point where I am now and your standards change from a laundry list of superficial features about hair, looks, height, etc. to just one simple overarching feature: respect the male ego, self-esteem and identity. I think more than anything this is the common thread in why a lot of relationships fail. This is more important than anything else to me now, because so few modern women know how to do this anymore, especially after progressive and radical feminism has really done a number on their heads.

I have no problem with women being equal to men. But feminism messed women up by trying to convince them that being equal to men meant being exactly the same as men. And this is wrong. Women can see themselves as equal, but they shouldn’t be seeing themselves as being the same. Women today have been trained to become men with long hair and vaginas. Progress to women has increasingly become getting the corner office, working long hours, going to grad school, racking up sex partners, not learning to cook or do housework and binge drinking on the weekend, while giving up a lot of the things that made them unique and strong as women. And Sex and the City definitely didn’t help things but rather just fueled their delusions. Instead of complementing the male gender, the female of the species now aims to duplicate the male gender, and she’s lost a lot of what made her so special to begin with. But the worst part of modern feminism? It made it so that any attempt to please or cater to a man was automatically seen as a sign of weakness, self-hate or even glorified slavery. If a woman chose to stay at home and be a housewife she was a pariah. Cooking for a man or doing housework became a form of oppressive servitude. Then it reached the point where catering to and building up the male ego became the same as devaluing your worth as a woman.

Feminists still wanted to get married, yet felt if they tried to please men in order to get husbands like their mothers did they’d be selling out their feminist prinicples and turning into their mothers (never that!). Since they didn’t want to “sell out” and go overboard to please men, they came up with a better solution: churn out a new generation of feminized men, indoctrinated by the media and universities to not only never expect to have their male egos and male identities ever catered to, but to think that having a male ego and male identity at all was a source of shame in itself and was evil! We have men out there now screaming about the male patriarchy and women’s issues even louder than most feminists, yet they’d never think to even once consider much less assert their rights as men. Deep down though these men still have the needs and egos of men, yet are trained to feel guilty about having these needs and egos because they’ve been trained to see them as misogynistic or oppressive, and as a result they don’t express them. Or don’t even realize they have these traditional male needs. They just know they are lacking something and don’t know what it is (which is why I think movies like Fight Club and 300 resonate with so many modern men). Is it any wonder that the more “enlightened” our society becomes, the harder it is for people to find life partners and the divorce rate skyrockets through the roof? Some women won’t give men what they want because they feel it’ll compromise their feminist ideas, while other women want to give men what they want but can’t because men have become so emasculated and confused about their male identity they either can’t express what they want or worst-case scenario, don’t even know.

Which is where I come in. Women, I will teach you how to be the perfect woman in a relationship. Not just for me, but for every man. Stop listening to beta males and bitter, delusional feminists. Listen to an actual man and I’ll set you straight.

1. Realize that men view things differently than women, and those differences in view are equally valid and worthy of respect. Don’t try to turn your man into a woman. Don’t try to make him resolve his problems like a woman. Don’t chastise him for not thinking or emoting or talking things to death like you. You don’t have to understand why he sees things so differently than you, but you do have to respect his differences as equally valid. Men are not inclined to talk in circles about every problem until they’re emotionally drained. Respect that. For you it’s cathartic, for us it’s hell. It doesn’t mean we respect the problem less than you do, it just means that what’s a therapeutic method for you is not necessarily one for us.
2. Respect and faith in abilities are more important to a man than love. This is the hardest for a woman to grasp, and it’s an ugly truth, but if you don’t grasp and accept this you’ll always have relationship problems. If men had to choose between feeling (a) loved yet disrespected and inadequate or (b) unloved but respected and competent, a vast majority would choose choice (b). To men, love without feelings of respect and adequacy from their partner is a more hellish fate than receiving no love at all. And if you don’t give them respect and a feeling of competence, they will seek that validation elsewhere. I don’t just mean from other women, although that’s likely. It can be from a hobby that they know they’re good at, it can be at the gym, it can be from sports, it can be from writing in his study, it can be from his male friends that make him feel like he’s a great guy…there are tons of places he may withdraw to to get the validation he feels he lacks from you. Which in turn may cause you to nag him for not paying enough attention to you. Which in turn may just drive him further into his alternative source of validation. And then you get a vicious cycle.
3. Even the men who appear the strongest secretly have a fragile ego. One of the biggest secrets men have is how delicate our egos are. If you publicly build up your man’s ego, whether in front of his friends, family or even total strangers, he will think you’re the most wonderful woman in the world. Yet feminism and the media has given woman some strange mental block about this, as if doing so is some admission of weakness on their part. I call this the Claire Huxtable syndrome. I know it’s blasphemy for an ’80s kid to say this, but I hate the Cosby Show and I really fucking hate Claire Huxtable. Every chance she got, she emasculated Cliff for laughs in front of his parents, his friends and even his own children. And a generation of Americans ate it up and grew up thinking it was hilarious. Try watching several episodes of the Cosby Show now and you’ll see what I’m talking about. Cliff gets up, tells some story from his youth about some accomplishment he was proud of and may exaggerate a little. And almost immediately afterwards here comes Claire to set the record straight, poke holes in Cliff’s ego and embarrass Cliff by letting everyone know “what really happened.” And it ends with everyone in the room laughing at Cliff’s expense. Nowadays we see this dynamic as the norm in the media when marriages are depicted in sitcoms and commercials. It’s always depicted as cute and harmless. Is it any wonder public disrespect of men by their significant others, whether in the form of backhanded compliments or “harmless jokes” or outright chewing out, is practically an epidemic now? Below is a perfect illustration from the show Girlfriends, except instead of making it seem harmless, to the show’s credit it actually shows the devastating effect such behavior has on a man’s self-esteem:
4. Fuck his brains out. Self-explanatory.
5. If he’s telling you what’s wrong with the relationship, and your bitter manless friends are telling you something different is wrong with the relationship, listen to him over them. Those bitches are manless for a reason. And misery loves company. (this especially applies to black women, who for some reason seem to especially give a lot of weight to what their chronically single and bitter friends think)
6. Respect his ambition. Women tend to be geared more toward security. We as men understand that. Men, however, have a need to conquer. To hunt. To compete. To master things. Modern society doesn’t give us that many avenues to exercise those needs any more except in our careers, which leads to a lot of frustration in the modern man. So unless your man is talking about taking some seriously foolish or dangerous risks, support him in his personal ambitions to the best of your ability, even if you can’t totally understand them. Make him think he can achieve his lofty goals, and let him know you’ll still love and respect him even if he tries and fails. A real man would rather try his best and fail than never try at all.
7. Don’t let your looks go. Call it shallow, but men are programmed by nature to be visual creatures. We can’t help it. Just because you aren’t biologically and culturally programmed to value looks as much as we do doesn’t mean you should dismiss men’s preoccupation with looks as shallow and stupid. This is one of the easiest ways to keep your man happy, yet so many women foolishly underestimate and slack in this area.
8. Being a provider is at the core of a man’s identity, even if you make money too. So be sure to show appreciation for what a man contributes as a provider, and be understanding of a man’s depression when he feels like he comes up short in this area.
9. Be an interesting person. Have hobbies (shopping doesn’t count).  Have topics you like to read about.  Be able to converse on a wide range of things.  Have well thought out viewpoints. Travel and have experiences.  Have a wide range of friends.  In this age of narcissism and self-absorption, too many people presume they’re more interesting than they are for no apparent reason.  Don’t be one of them.

And there you have it. My perfect woman. And the perfect woman for a lot of men out there I suspect.

And tomorrow this guy drops some knowledge about the perfect woman. I can’t wait.

This is the final installment of Pimp Week. For this, it’ll be a straightforward post. I’ll be finishing the story I started in these two posts here and here.

When last we saw the pimp Iceberg Slim, he was being tested by his newest, prettiest whore in front of the rest of his stable of older, more experienced whores. He held his ground, passed the test, impressed his existing stable and called the new whore’s bluff and told her she could leave, making her whole grandstand play blow up in her face.

Here’s what happened next:

I went back for Kim. She was packed and silent. On the way to the station, I riffled the pages in that pimp’s book in head for an angle to hold her without kissing her ass.

I couldn’t find a line in it for an out like that. As it turned out the bitch was testing and bluffing right down the line.

We had pulled into the station parking lot when the bitch fell to pieces. Her eyes were misty when she yelped, “Daddy, are you really going to let me split? Daddy, I love you!?

It’s important to note that Iceberg was ready to ride the bluff all the way to the end if he had to. No matter how much he wanted her to stay, he was only willing to do so if he could keep from kissing her ass in the process. This is a good lesson to learn for both men and women: do not be outcome driven. Outcome driven people just care about what they get in the end and don’t care how they get there. Process driven people care more about doing something the right way, even if it gets them a bad result once or twice.  In the long run process driven people end up better off.

For example an outcome driven person may just know that she wants to get her boyfriend back. She will grovel, beg, threaten to commit suicide, let him disrespect her and walk all over her, maybe buy him expensive gifts as a way to bribe him to stay, or maybe even allow him to cheat on her in exchange for her staying…basically, so long as she gets the outcome of him staying, she doesn’t care what damage she has to take to her self-respect, ego, character or reputation along the way. Not only is what she gives up way more valuable than what she gains, buy chances are she’s too stupid to even realize that she did give anything up. A process driven woman on the other hand may approach it the same situation like this: “I want to resolve my relationship with my boyfriend, but I’m not tied to any particular outcome. All I care about is that no matter what happens, I speak my mind, hold my ground and don’t compromise my ideals or values. If he knows what I want and is willing to respect that and stay, then we’ll stay together. If not, then we’ll split up. But either way, the important thing I stick to my guns all the way through.”  In the short run, she may lose this particular boyfriend, but in the long run by sticking to her principles, she will definitely end up with a good man sooner or later.

A person who would drop out of school and strip for a whole lot of cash now rather than get a low-paying internship teaching valuable skills that will lead to a real career down the line? Outcome driven. A person who would is willing to just work hard and be honest and risk not getting promoted right away rather than kiss ass, lie and backstab his way to to the top? Process driven. You get the picture.

Now in some ways pimps are outcome driven because they choose the glamour, excitement and fast money of pimping over the slow grinding climb of a “square” job. But on the other hand, within their chosen profession pimps are notoriously process driven, to the point where they even have a phrase for it: “pimping by the book.” Everything has to be by the book. Rules and standards within the pimp game are rigorously followed and enforced, and a good pimp would rather pimp by the book and risk losing a whore here and there in the short run rather than become outcome driven and not pimp by the book in order to get some immediate benefit.

Take for example how pimps deal with what is called a Choosy Suzie. A Choosy Suzie is a whore who keeps jumping from pimp to pimp, always looking to trade up for a better deal or to pit pimps against each other. Pimps have very specific rules about what to do in this situation when they do it by the book. First, the whore must pay a choosing fee to the new pimp, a large sum of money for the right to be his whore. Next, the new pimp must then go to the old pimp and let him know in a civilized fashion that his whore has now chosen him. No hard feelings. Then the new pimp and the whore pick up the whore’s possessions from the old pimp. Now this process serves a few purposes.

First, it makes it pricey for a whore to jump from pimp to pimp. In the regular dating world where the average man has no rules and standards and is often outcome driven, a girl can jump from guy to guy to guy without repercussions, and the guy who has her at any given moment will just celebrate because he is getting some new ass and doesn’t really think of the big picture. Not only will the average guy not make a woman jump hurdles in order to leave her old man for him, he will actually reward her for her disloyalty to him with gifts or affection. He rewards bad behavior and thinks that he is getting out ahead…that is until he gets burned later on in the same way. And of course he can’t figure out why it happened to him. This is the outcome driven thinking and low standards of the typical guy that allowed professional groupie Karrine “Supahead” Steffans to make life hell for so many shortsighted celebrity men with her antics and expose books. By giving the whore a price to pay for jumping ship to him in the form of a monetary investment, the new pimp is making the woman prove that she will not quickly jump ship again like she did with the last pimp. Since she is committing a disloyal act by leaving the last pimp, the only way the new pimp will take her on is if she gives him a display of extra loyalty. What the pimp has effectively done with the choosing fee is create what economists call a sunk cost fallacy, where someone has a greater tendency to stick to an endeavor and ride it out after they have already made a significant investment in time, money or effort. Sometimes a whore also has to pay a leaving fee as well to her old pimp, which further reinforces loyalty.

The second aspect of the “by the book” method of dealing with a Choosy Suzy is that it forces the two pimps to talk face to face. This is very important. Men, think of all the times when you’ve allowed a woman to pit you against another man, whether it’s a stalker ex or another suitor trying to take her from you or just some guy that tried to holler at her in a nightclub. Especially when the woman is the intermediary feeding both sides lines about what the other guy said rather than letting them hear it from each other. There are a lot of women out there that get an ego boost over men fighting over them, and will deliberately escalate a beef between two guys and let the testosterone take over. Not only does it provide her an ego boost but it also makes her the center of competition, thereby raising her value over both suitors. Pimps recognize this aspect of human nature and as a result created the rule of one pimp going over to the other pimp face to face to eliminate the middleman, in this case the whore. This keeps the whore from using exaggeration or “he say, she say” to get two pimps to fight over her, stroke her ego, raise her value and possibly injure each other. And it keeps the power dynamic squarely with the pimps.

The valuable life lessons to take from this are (1) make disloyalty or bad behavior costly, even when you’re the beneficiary of it, or you risk being a victim of the same behavior down the line, and (2) be aware of when you’re being made to dance to someone else’s tune. A lot of people, from bosses to spouses to friends will try to goad you into unnecessary, fruitless battles for their own entertainment or benefit, all the while making you believe you’re in charge of the situation.

Now back to Iceberg:

I started [to game her] when I said, “Bitch, I don’t want a whore with rabbit in her. I want a bitch who wants me for life. You have got to go after that bullshit earlier this morning, you are not that bitch.”

That [game] butchered her and she collapsed into my lap crying and begging to stay. I had a theory about splitting whores. I think they seldom split without a bankroll’.

So, I cracked on her, “Give me that scratch you held, out and maybe I will give you another chance.”

Sure enough she reached into her bosom and drew out close to five bills and handed it to me. No pimp with a brain in his head cuts loose a young beautiful whore with lots of mileage left in her. I let her come back.

Note that Iceberg didn’t just let her come back without jumping a hurdle. It’s a good practice when forgiving someone or taking them back to make them give something up or make a costly gesture. If you let someone do wrong against you and keep forgiving them just for the price of an apology, you send a message about how much bad treatment you will gladly tolerate, and you are guaranteeing that that person will continue to disrespect you again in the future because they realize there will be no repercussions for doing so.

When at long last I was driving toward my hotel I remembered what “Baby” Jones, the master pimp who turned me out, had said about whores like Kim.

“Slim,” he had said, “A pretty Nigger bitch and a white whore are just alike. They both will get in a stable to wreck it and leave the pimp on his ass with no whore. You gotta make ‘em hump hard and fast to stick ‘em for [their money] quick. Slim, pimping ain’t no game of love, so [game] ‘em and keep your [dick] outta ‘em. Any sucker who believe a whore loves him shouldn’t a fell outta his mammy’s ass.”

?..

“Slim, a pimp is really a whore who has reversed the game on whores. So Slim, be as sweet as the scratch, no sweeter, and always stick a whore for a bundle [of money] before you sex her. A whore ain’t nothing but a trick to a pimp. Don’t let ‘em [game] you. Always get your money in front just like a whore.

Now here one of the biggest misconceptions about pimps gets set straight. People think pimps are all about getting as much sex as possible. Guys go around having sex with anything that moves and brag “I’m a pimp” or “I’m pimping.” Pimps actually have a high amount of sexual discipline and try to keep sex with the whores to a minimum. What the john is to the whore, the whore is to the pimp: a customer. Using economic terms again, the pimp creates a scarcity mindset when it comes to letting whores having sex with him: he makes himself the commodity and raises his own value by having sex with the whores as little as possible. At times in the book Pimp, Iceberg describes how excruciating it can be to resist the urge to have sex with his whores at times, but he realizes that the bigger picture is to maintain his high value at all costs. And additionally, just like the whore won’t have sex with a john unless he pays her first, a pimp will not have sex with his whore under any circumstances unless she pays him first.

And sometimes not even then. Sometimes even when a whore behaves and follows orders there is no guarantee she will be rewarded each time. This is called the intermittent reward method, or random reinforcement method, pioneered by famed psychologist B.F. Skinner with his Skinner Box, and it’s one of the most potent methods of influencing behavior out there, and is the psychological reason why slot machines are so addictive, as described in this NY Times article:

The makers of slot machines may rely on the lure of life-changing jackpots to attract customers, but the machines’ ability to hook so deeply into a player’s cerebral cortex derives from one of the more powerful human feedback mechanisms, a phenomenon behavioral scientists call infrequent random reinforcement, or ”intermittent reward.” Children whose parents consistently shower them with love and attention tend to take that devotion for granted. Those who know they’ll never be rewarded by their parents stop trying after a while. But those who are rewarded only intermittently ? in the fashion of a slot machine ? will often pursue positive outcomes with a persistent tenacity.

Random, unpredictable intermittent rewards are a far better motivator for behavior than consistent, predictable rewards. (By the way, managers are also increasingly experimenting with intermittent reward systems in the workplace to motivate workers, so don’t think you’re immune from this type of brainwashing just because you’re not a lab rat, dog, child or a whore.) By using the powerful behavioral tools of scarcity and intermittent rewards, pimps create a mindset in their women where having sex with the pimp and being deemed worthy by him is the most valuable thing on earth to them. (A lot of men who are “whipped” by their wives are also commonly victims of scarcity and intermittent rewards, so don’t believe it’s just a tool used by misogynists.)

How valuable to the whore is the pimp’s affection, love and, if she’s “lucky,” sex? Well that leads to one last myth about pimps and whores that I’m going to dispel. A whore does not receive a cut of the money she makes. A lot of people assume she does, but she doesn’t. She gives it all to the pimp. Every last cent. His cut is 100%.

Now that is some serious brainwashing.

BONUS EXCERPTS: MALCOLM X ON PIMPS AND PROSTITUTES

The bonus excerpts below are from The Autobiography of Malcolm X : As Told to Alex Haley.

Malcolm X On Wives And Prostitutes:

Domineering, complaining, demanding wives who had just about psychologically castrated their husbands were responsible for the early [client rush to the brothel]. These wives were so disagreeable and had made their man so tense that they were robbed of the satisfaction of being men. To escape this tension and the chance of being ridiculed by his own wife, each of these men had gotten up early and come to a prostitute.The prostitutes had to make it their business to be students of men. They said that after most men passed their virile twenties, they went to bed mainly to satisfy their egos, and because a lot of women don?t understand it that way, they damage and wreck a man?s ego. No matter how little virility a man has to offer, prostitutes make him feel for a time that he is the greatest man in the world. That?s why these prostitutes had that morning rush of business. More wives could keep their husbands if they realized their greatest urge is to be men…

I mean, I?d had so much experience. I had talked to too many prostitutes and mistresses. They knew more about a whole lot of husbands than the wives of those husbands did. The wives always filled their husband?s ears so full of wife complaints that it wasn?t the wives, it was the prostitutes and mistresses who heard the husbands? innermost problems and secrets. They thought of him, and comforted him, and that included listening to him, and so he would tell them everything.

Malcolm X On Pimps vs. Husbands:

Most men, the prostitutes felt, were too easy to push around. Every day these prostitutes heard their customers complaining that they never heard anything but griping from women who were being taken care of and given everything. The prostitutes said that most men needed to know what the pimps knew. A woman should occasionally be babied enough to show her the man had affection, but beyond that she should be treated firmly. These tough women said that it worked with them. All women, by their nature, are fragile and weak: they are attracted to the male in whom they see strength.

Recommended Reading:

The books below all played a role in this piece, with some specifically discussing pimp behavior and philosophies, and others discussing the general human behavior principles that pimps end up exploiting.

This is a follow-up analysis post to this post, which VK, Des and Roissy did a ridiculously good job taking apart in the comments section. Maybe this one was too easy (or the commenters are just too damn good). Anyways, let me see if there’s anything left for me to add. To save you the trouble of going back to the old post, I’ll reproduce the passage here:

From the opening pages of Pimp by Robert Beck (better known as Iceberg Slim) (slang translations provided by me in brackets):

I grinned widely, inside of course. The best pimps keep a steel lid on their emotions and I was one of the iciest. The whores went into fits of giggles at [bottom bitch] Rachel’s shaky witticism [a bottom bitch is the top whore in the stable, the most favored by the pimp and usually considered the most reliable. Usually a seniority position.]. A pimp is happy when his whores giggle. He knows they are still asleep.

I coasted the Hog [car] into the curb outside the hotel where Kim, my newest, prettiest girl, was cribbing. Jesus! I would be glad to drop the last whore off so I could get to my own hotel to nurse my nose with cocaine and be alone. Any good pimp is his own best company. His inner life is so rich with cunning and scheming to out-think his whores.

As Kim got out I said “Goodnight Baby, today is Saturday so I want everybody in the street at noon instead of seven tonight. I said noon, not five minutes after or two minutes after, but at twelve noon sharp I want you down, got it, Baby?”

She didn’t answer, but she did a strange thing. She walked into the street around the Hog [car] to the window on my side. She stood looking at me for a long moment, her beautiful face tense in the dim dawn.

Then in her crisp New England accent she said “Are you coming back to my pad this morning? You haven’t spent a night with me in a month. So come back, Okay?”

A good pimp doesn’t get paid for screwing, he gets his pay for always having the right thing to say to a whore right on lightning tap. I knew my four whores were flapping their ears to get my reaction to this beautiful bitch. A pimp with an overly fine bitch in his stable [group of whores] has to keep his game tight. Whores constantly probe for weakness in a pimp.

I fitted a scary mask on my face and said, in a low deadly voice, “Bitch, are you insane? No bitch in my family calls any shots or muscles me to do anything. Now take your stinking yellow ass upstairs to a bath and some shut eye, and get in the street at noon like I told you.”

The bitch just stood there, her eyes slitted in anger. I could sense she was game to play the string out right there in the street before my whores…I knew the bitch was trying to booby trap me when she spat out her invitation. “Come on, kick my ass. What the hell do I need with a man I only see when he comes to get his money? I’m sick of it all. I don’t dig stables and never will. I know I’m the new bitch who has to prove herself. Well Godamnit, I am sick of this shit. I’m cutting out.”

She stopped for air and lit a cigarette. I was going to blast her ass of when she finished. So, I just sat there staring at her.”

Then she went on…”I am going back to Providence on the next thing smoking.”

She was young, fast with trick appeal galore. She was a pimp’s dream and she knew it. She had tested me with her beef and now she was lying back for a sucker response.

I disappointed her with my cold overlay. I could see her wilt as I said in an icy voice “Listen square-ass Bitch, I have never had a whore I couldn’t do without. I celebrate, Bitch, when a whore leaves me. It gives some worthy bitch a chance to take her place and be a star. You scurvy Bitch, if I shit in your face, you gotta love it and open your mouth wide….”

I went on ruthlessly, “Bitch you are nothing but a funky zero. Before me you had one chili chump [a chili pimp is a low-level pimp with only one whore] with no rep. Nobody except his mother ever heard of the bastard. Yes Bitch, I’ll be back this morning to put your phony ass on the train.”

I rocketed away from the curb. In the rearview mirror I saw Kim walk slowly into the hotel, her shoulders slumped. In the Hog, until I dropped the last whore off you could have heard a mosquito crapping on the moon. I had tested out for them, “solid ice.”

Now for this post, I want to try something different.

This week is a busy week at work, but I’ve been using what free time I have to brainstorm on Pimp Week. Pimp Week is going to be a week of articles where I take something as reprehensible as the second oldest profession and try to show how you can actually derive positive, useful life philosophies from it.

I think it benefits women as much to learn pimp game as it does men, maybe even moreso. The pimp and hooker game to me is just a much more ruthless and clinically efficient version of the dating game, minus a lot of the civility, social correctness and the bullshit. Many of the manipulations a good player or pickup artists uses are just watered down (and legal) manipulation techniques of pimps. If a woman can understand the headgames a pimp uses and the weaknesses of the female nature that he targets and exploits, the techniques of the average pickup artist or player will be a joke to you. Same goes for guys and the hooker/stripper mindset. These women are well-versed in exploiting male weaknesses like ego, sex drive and competitiveness, and if you understand their insights into the male nature, you’ll understand your own general weaknesses with opposite sex much better as well.
To whet your appetite, here are the 48 Laws of Pimping from Pimpin’ Ken:

1. Purse First, Ass Last
2. Get a Name in a Game
3. Don’t Chase ‘Em, Replace ‘Em
4. Keep a Ho in Arrears
5. Prey on the Weak
6. When Pimpin’ Begins, Friendship Ends
7. Pimp the Game
8. Don’t Let Your History Be a Mystery
9. Learn the Rules
10. Plan Your Work and Work Your Plan
11. Avoid Gorillas and Godzillas
12. Ain’t No Love in this Shit
13. Pimp Like You’re Ho-less
14. Better a Turnout than a Burnout
15. Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say
16. Give Motivation and Inspiration
17. Get You A Bottom Bitch
18. Cop and Blow
19. Turn Ho Ends into Dividends
20. Get in a Ho’s Head
21. A Ho Without Instruction Is Headed for Self-Destruction
22. Keep Hoes on Their Toes
23. A Ho Joins A Stable to Ruin It
24. Set the Trend
25. Grind for Your Shine
26. The Game is to be Sold, Not Told
27. Keep Your Game on the Low
28. Be a Leader
29. Play One Ho Against the Next
30. Prosperity over Popularity
31. Look out for Suzy Choosy
32. Turn a Tramp into a Champ
33. Bring Your People With You to theTop
34. Show Respect to Get Respect
35. Trust Nothing but the Game
36. Be Internationally Known, Nationally Recognized, and Locally Accepted
37. Let a Ho Know
38. Wreck a Hater
39. Switch Up
40. Don’t Down ‘Em, Crown ‘Em
41. Keep Your Front Up Till You Come Up
42. Talk Shit and Swallow Spit
43. If You Can See It, You Can Be It
44. You Need Fire and Desire
45. Get Rid of the Word “If”
46. Move and Shake Like a Pimp Shakes
47. Pimpin’ Is What You Do, Not Who You Are
48. Don’t Believe the Hype

These laws come from the book Pimpology: The 48 Laws of the Game by Pimpin’ Ken. It’s not an explicit manual of pimping, but rather an explanation of the general philosophies of pimping explained in ways that show their applicability to all walks of life and different areas like work and friendship. Pretty good read.

Recommended Books:

Every now and then I come across something that I wish I wrote. This piece from Craiglist’s “Best Of” section is a perfect example. It’s called “Myths and Truths,” and I’ve reproduced it in full below. I’m sure a few people will call it jaded and cynical, and it probably is, but that in no way negates how astute and accurate it is:

Myths and Truths

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Date: 2006-04-18, 11:09PM PDT

Some rants and accumulated experience about women. Men in happy marriages or stable relationships don’t need to read this; neither do men who get laid every week (or even every month). The “truth” I’m putting out here is for all of those men who, like me, worship women and can’t figure out why they keep getting screwed over and dumped. The myths are things that I used to believe before I wised up.

MYTH: Women want love and affection. Women want to be treated well. If you treat a woman well, she’ll treat you well.

You ever feel like society’s attempts at taking the risk out of everything are also sucking out all the spontaneity and funtoo?

This piece from The Onion is pretty old (1999), but it’s a classic. Click the blurb below to read it:

You often hear women, especially feminists and sluts, complaining about how it’s such an unfair double standard that men are called studs when they sleep around, yet women are called sluts. It’s really not a double standard though, because both scenarios are pretty different in terms of circumstances and consequences. I can think of at least three crucial differences.

First, sleeping around is easier for women. Regardless of how you feel about promiscuity, we can all agree that a guy who manages to rack up a lot of sexual partners has to have some skills. It’s challenging for men to rack up partners, even for men with low standards. It requires a certain amount of social intelligence, interpersonal skills, persistence, thick skin, and plain old dumb luck. For women to rack up a lot of partners, however, it pretty much only requires a vagina and a pulse. So a man whoring it up and a woman whoring it up are hardly the same thing because for a woman to get a lot of partners is absolutely no challenge, hence no one respects it. It’s just viewed as a lack of self-discipline when women indulge in lots of sex partners because they can get new ones whenever they want. When men get lots of sex partners, it’s respected more because getting lots of sex partners, for men, is a challenge. This is just human nature: people gain respect for those who accomplish challenging feats while they consider those who overindulge in easily obtained vices as weak or flawed.

Second, women do more harm by sleeping around than men do. Say a man sleeps around with a bunch of different women. He is definitely doing harm to these women if he pretends to be monogamous while sleeping around with these multiple partners. He may cause them emotional pain by his promiscuity. He may cause unwanted pregnancy. He may spread venereal diseases. When women sleep around, however, they can cause not only these same ill effects but one additional crucial ill effect: the risk of unknown parentage. If one guy sleeps around with five women, each of whom is monogamous to him, and they all get pregnant, it’s a safe bet as to who the father is. If one woman sleeps around with five men and gets pregnant, it could be anybody’s baby. And if a man is tricked into raising a baby that isn’t his, he is basically investing his time, money, estate and property to provide for a child that is not carrying on his DNA into the next generations, which is a costly mistake from an evolutionary standpoint. Our two basic primal drives are to survive and to reproduce, and promiscuous women traditionally make it hard for a man to know for sure whether he is truly reproducing or simply raising another man’s child. Men stand a lot more to lose from promiscuous women than the other way around. And it’s no picnic for the child to not know who his real father is either. And it’s a mess for the women carrying on the deception as well. Or just look at any random episode of the Maury show if you don’t believe me. Considering that the DNA test and the birth control pill had not existed for most of human history, meaning that there were no reliable ways to prevent pregnancy or prove parentage, society for many centuries had a vested interest in preventing promiscuity among women and society accomplished this by creating the slut stigma. And even though the creation of birth control and DNA tests have made this less of a risk than the past, longstanding traditions and customs are not easy for society to break.

Third, men have evolutionary reasons to be programmed to sleep around. A lot of women roll their eyes when they hear that men are “hard-wired” to sleep around. But from an evolutionary standpoint, it makes total sense. If the two primal drives of humans are to survive and to reproduce, nothing leads to maximum reproduction like one man sleeping with multiple women. If one women slept with many men, in a nine month period, she would still only get pregnant just once. Nine months of rampant promiscuity would give the same result as nine months of highly sexed monogamy: one pregnancy. Now if one man sleeps with many women, you can get many pregnancies. The more women he sleeps with, the more pregnancies. So from an evolutionary standpoint, there are concrete advantages to men sleeping around with multiple partners rather than women.

These three reasons are probably why the longstanding tradition came about of men being rewarded for multiple partners while women get socially punished for similar promiscuity. Of course all this is gradually changing, but we’re up against centuries of tradition here, so don’t expect any dramatic reversals or anything.

Now a lot of people are going to read all this and dismissively think Oh this guy is just being a typical man and trying to justify every man’s dream: cheating and polygamy. But believe it or not, I don’t really think male polygamy is all it’s cracked up to be. Despite what most people assume, polygamy actually may benefit women more than men. Most dudes think a society of widespread polygamy (specifically polygyny, where one man can have several women) would just be a utopia of every guy sleeping with every woman under the sun. Some economists think otherwise though. The basic argument is that in a world where po

lygamy was acceptable, most of the women would be hoarded by the most successful men. As explained in this Psychology Today article:

The history of western civilization aside, humans are naturally polygamous. Polyandry (a marriage of one woman to many men) is very rare, but polygyny (the marriage of one man to many women) is widely practiced in human societies, even though Judeo-Christian traditions hold that monogamy is the only natural form of marriage…..Relative to monogamy, polygyny creates greater fitness variance (the distance between the “winners” and the “losers” in the reproductive game) among males than among females because it allows a few males to monopolize all the females in the group. The greater fitness variance among males creates greater pressure for men to compete with each other for mates. Only big and tall males can win mating opportunities. Among pair-bonding species like humans, in which males and females stay together to raise their children, females also prefer to mate with big and tall males because they can provide better physical protection against predators and other males.

In societies where rich men are much richer than poor men, women (and their children) are better off sharing the few wealthy men; one-half, one-quarter, or even one-tenth of a wealthy man is still better than an entire poor man. As George Bernard Shaw puts it, “The maternal instinct leads a woman to prefer a tenth share in a first-rate man to the exclusive possession of a third-rate one.” Despite the fact that humans are naturally polygynous, most industrial societies are monogamous because men tend to be more or less equal in their resources compared with their ancestors in medieval times. (Inequality tends to increase as society advances in complexity from hunter-gatherer to advanced agrarian societies. Industrialization tends to decrease the level of inequality.)

When there is resource inequality among men?the case in every human society?most women benefit from polygyny: women can share a wealthy man. Under monogamy, they are stuck with marrying a poorer man.

The only exceptions are extremely desirable women. Under monogamy, they can monopolize the wealthiest men; under polygyny, they must share the men with other, less desirable women. However, the situation is exactly opposite for men. Monogamy guarantees that every man can find a wife. True, less desirable men can marry only less desirable women, but that’s much better than not marrying anyone at all.

Men in monogamous societies imagine they would be better off under polygyny. What they don’t realize is that, for most men who are not extremely desirable, polygyny means no wife at all, or, if they are lucky, a wife who is much less desirable than one they could get under monogamy.

So basically, women complain about how men are allowed to sleep around and they aren’t. Meanwhile men wish polygamy had widespread acceptance. And the truth may actually be that male polygamy benefits the average women more than the average man. Who’da thunk?