Archive for the 'Guido Theory' Category

Patron, Motherfucker. That’s All That’s In My Blood. That’s All I Drink

I fuck niggas up. INCLUDING YOU, NICK.


Guido Guy Wants to Fight – Watch more Funny Videos

Also: The Guido Field Guide

Fuck Ed Hardy

“Hey Christian Audigier! Thanks for ruining America!”

Related:

Hot Chicks With Douchebags

UPDATE

The Ed Hardy website is incredible to behold. It’s like a spoof of an Ed Hardyite but 100% sans irony. Even worse, there’s now an Ed Hardy energy drink (as if the bargain basement cocaine didn’t provide enough?) complete with Ed Hardy Energy Drink parties, galleries here. What’s really disturbing when looking at the galleries of Ed Hardy parties is the amount of black guys infected with Hardyitis. I think I’d rather the black community suffer through another crack epidemic than that. Inflicting this on blacks is a real hate crime.

Some Things You Cannot Explain

I consider myself to have a decent grasp on human behavior and why people do the things they do. I spend a lot of time thinking about it, and even if I don’t know the cause of something for sure, I usually have at least a half-baked theory to throw out there.

Take attraction between men and women. Men basically judge women primarily on how hot they are. There are other factors too, but for the average guy, if a woman is hot enough he will start disregarding just about every other personality flaw she has at least until the novelty of her hotness wears off and her more irritating secondary aspects start becoming more noticeable.

Women, however, look more for a mix of things. Looks are important, but so are power, status, confidence, ability to provide security, social intelligence, leadership, rapport, independence and wealth.

That being said, I simply cannot understand this site. As someone very knowledgeable about the creature known as the guido, I’ve never been able to understand their ability to attract hot (although admittedly trashy) women. Many of them live at home, don’t have high status jobs, ruin any natural good looks they had with burnt orange tans and weird spiky hair and many of them still live at home and live off their parents, meaning the level of independence is pretty low.

Any input would be greatly appreciated.

Fish Lip Pose

Bonus videos: The guido outside his natural element. (Not for the faint of heart)