The Rawness

I ended up with an extra, brand-new copy of this book, Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions by Dan Ariely.

This is how Publisher’s Weekly describes the book:

Irrational behavior is a part of human nature, but as MIT professor Ariely has discovered in 20 years of researching behavioral economics, people tend to behave irrationally in a predictable fashion. Drawing on psychology and economics, behavioral economics can show us why cautious people make poor decisions about sex when aroused, why patients get greater relief from a more expensive drug over its cheaper counterpart and why honest people may steal office supplies or communal food, but not money. According to Ariely, our understanding of economics, now based on the assumption of a rational subject, should, in fact, be based on our systematic, unsurprising irrationality. Ariely argues that greater understanding of previously ignored or misunderstood forces (emotions, relativity and social norms) that influence our economic behavior brings a variety of opportunities for reexamining individual motivation and consumer choice, as well as economic and educational policy. Ariely’s intelligent, exuberant style and thought-provoking arguments make for a fascinating, eye-opening read.

Sounds cool, doesn’t it? Haven’t read it yet, but I look forward to it.

Since I have this extra copy, I figure I’d have fun with it and do a giveaway. So what I’ll do is have a commenter contest. Starting from today, every comment made for the next two weeks will be an entry into the book giveaway contest. Anywhere in the world is fair game, I will pay to ship the book to you regardless of where you live should you win the contest. The catch? I’m not going to reveal the judging criteria. It could be sheer quantity, it could be intellectual insight, it could be humor, it could be a random drawing, or it could be a combination of one or more of the above. Or maybe I haven’t come up with the criteria yet. I’m not telling. Just comment away and see what happens.

Also, there’s no time limit for the posts you comment on. You can comment as far back as my very first blog post if you want. Hell, you can even comment on the “About” page. If commenter frequency increases during these two weeks I’ll make the giveraway a regular event.

Also, I’m travelling to Sweden and Amsterdam in August. If anyone lives in those places, has lived in those places or has even just travelled there, please share your insights, advice and travel tips with me in the comments section below or via email at t (at) therawness (dot) com.

Bonus Videos from the book author:

Here he talks about online dating and how the less specific you are about yourself, the more likely people are going to be to fill in the gaps with positive, appealing information. Tell me if his logic sounds familiar.



Here he discusses who the best presidential candidate is. Note that he commends Obama for using a lottery system for a one-on-one dinner to raise funds rather than a traditional, large fundraising dinner where everyone who pays gets to attend. Using the lottery system led to a much more passionate response and increased fundraising. And what is a lottery an example of? Click here for a hint.

I rarely write about a book before reading it, but the premise of this one seemed so interesting I couldn’t resist. I bought the book Radical Honesty, The New Revised Edition: How to Transform Your Life by Telling the Truth by Brad Blanton because the premise of it seemed so challenging: brutal honesty all of the time.

In this Esquire article, a magazine writer meets Blanton and plans to practice radical honesty himself. Here’s how he describes the movement:

The movement was founded by a sixty-six-year-old Virginia-based psychotherapist named Brad Blanton. He says everybody would be happier if we just stopped lying. Tell the truth, all the time. This would be radical enough — a world without fibs — but Blanton goes further. He says we should toss out the filters between our brains and our mouths. If you think it, say it. Confess to your boss your secret plans to start your own company. If you’re having fantasies about your wife’s sister, Blanton says to tell your wife and tell her sister. It’s the only path to authentic relationships. It’s the only way to smash through modernity’s soul-deadening alienation. Oversharing? No such thing.

When the journalist meets Blanton, he encounters a man who totally practices what he preaches:

My interview with Blanton is unlike any other I’ve had in fifteen years as a journalist. Usually, there’s a fair amount of ass kissing and diplomacy. You approach the controversial stuff on tippy toes (the way Barbara Walters once asked Richard Gere about that terrible, terrible rumor). With Blanton, I can say anything that pops into my mind. In fact, it would be rude not to say it. I’d be insulting his life’s work. It’s my first taste of Radical Honesty, and it’s liberating, exhilarating.

When Blanton rambles on about President Bush, I say, “You know, I stopped listening about a minute ago.”

“Thanks for telling me,” he says.

I tell him, “You look older than you do in the author photo for your book,” and when he veers too far into therapyspeak, I say, “That just sounds like gobbledygook.”

“Thanks,” he replies.” Or, “That’s fine.”…

“I’m glad you picked your nose just now,” I say. “Because it was funny and disgusting, and it’ll make a good detail for the article.”

“That’s fine. I’ll pick my ass in a minute.” Then he unleashes his deep Texan laugh: heh, heh, heh. (He also burps and farts throughout our conversation; he believes the one-cheek sneak is “a little deceitful.”)

No topic is off-limits. “I’ve slept with more than five hundred women and about a half dozen men,” he tells me. “I’ve had a whole bunch of threesomes” — one of which involved a hermaphrodite prostitute equipped with dual organs.

What about animals?

Blanton thinks for a minute. “I let my dog lick my dick once.”

As I mentioned before, I haven’t read the book yet, but the premise really does interest me. I know that I’m just not the personality type that could totally follow the practices of the movement 100%, but I’d love to incorporate radical honesty into my life as much as I could.

What do you think life would be like if we embraced Radical Honesty all of the time? Hard to say, but here’s an example of what first dates might turn into:

Improvement over the current model or no?

Recommended Reading:

Happy Friday.

I’m a master of snap judgments.

Looking at this couple, a few words spring to mind. For him, I picture a life of being whipped, emasculated and eventually miserable. She, on the other hand, screams narcissism, entitlement and self-absorption. That poor man. The article describes her as Chidi Ogbuta of Allen, TX but doesn’t even bother giving the groom’s name, which is very indicative. He’s apparently just an extra in this epic movie that is his wife’s life:

Ogbuta said she had asked the groom for a “unique, personalized wedding” and he carried out the request “without reservations.” The cake took about a week to consume, with many guests stopping by to help.

Can you imagine how she’s going to financially bleed him dry if she’s already starting off like this? That cake is in no way cheap. She put the cake together by working with women in two different cities, a pastry chef and a separate woman to mold a likeness of the head. It must have been a logistical nightmare (and a financial nightmare for him).

“The cake actually fulfilled my childhood dream,” said Ogbuta, who said that she had long thought it would be fun to have a doll made in her likeness. While her fantasy never happened, she said the cake was pretty close.

I get the impression she was overindulged as a child, and is now going from spoiling parents to a whipped husband.

But I’m sure this is the worst of it, right? I’m sure she’ll show a lot of financial restraint during the marriage. And I’m sure compromise will come easy to her. And when they argue, I’m sure she’ll be empathetic and understand his point of view and value him and his needs as much as she values her own, right? But honestly, I don’t blame her. I blame him. If he’s dumb enough to tolerate that, why shouldn’t she go for it?

See the slideshow of the wedding here.

From Angelo De La Vega in response to the post Some Things You Cannot Explain:

Guidos and Nazis are just about the worst examples of humanity. I will, however, give the Guido some credit for a stream lined approach to women: cockiness, cocktails, and cocaine. These precious commodities assist trashy whores in easing the residual emotional pain from whatever childhood rape trauma they experienced.

Not just funny, but painfully accurate. In fact, I now designate this dating tactic of cockiness, cocktails and cocaine as COC-3. The COC-3 method is allso popular with Hollywood agents and producers, except with bottle service thrown in for good measure.

Check out Angelo’s crass and hilarious blog Bittersweet Amalgam too.